


Our Ana

by fiftyshadesofbourbon



Category: Fifty Shades of Grey - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bi-Curiosity, Bisexual Female Character, Drama, F/F, F/M, Fluid Sexuality, LGBTQ Female Character, Light BDSM, Multi, Non-Canon Relationship, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 13:51:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 49,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19152340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiftyshadesofbourbon/pseuds/fiftyshadesofbourbon
Summary: Anastasia Steele is a young and sexually inexperienced adult. When she ends her unusual relationship with Christian Grey she finds herself opening up emotionally and sexually to her longtime friend Kate. Christian returns with his heart set on winning Ana back but quickly realizes he may have a new competition he never dreamed of. To keep Ana in his life he must allow her the freedom to pursue her relationship with Kate and decide for herself not only who she wants to be with, but who she wants to be.





	1. Chapter 1

Ana's Pov;

Christians pained expression is burned into the back of my brain. It's all I can think of as Taylor drives me home. I've left Christian. The only man I've ever loved. The only man I love. I still love him, I can't deny that, but he gave me no choice but to leave. He can't love me back, he won't. No one who would hurt me in that way and enjoy it as he did would ever be able to in the same breath tell me they love me. It's just not possible for us to go on as we were. I had to leave.

The apartment is empty when I get home, achingly empty. I let myself fall onto the couch and as I lay curled in a small ball the tears start coming. They don't stop. "Ana?" A familiar voice breaks through my tears and I jerk into an upright position. Kate! "Oh, Ana." She opens her arms to me, not knowing what to say, and I gladly wrap myself in her warm embrace. How did I not notice she was here? The signs were everywhere. Her shoes are by the door. There's a radio playing, I can tell the sounds coming from her bedroom. How did I not notice all of this when I first walked in? I must've been really out of it. Drowning in my thoughts of Christian. "Ana, what happened?" Kate asks, her hands brush over my hair and back, trying to soothe me. I don't answer I just sniffle into her shoulder. I take a deep breath and force myself back into a standing position, no longer leaning on her for support. I escape her arms and wipe at my eyes. "Kate...how did you get here? I thought you were with Elliot?" She should be in Barbados right now, sipping cocktails and basking in the sun in her bikini. "We um...had a disagreement. So I came back early..." She trails off at the end of her sentence, eyebrows furrowed. "But that doesn't matter right now. Why are you crying? What did Christian do to you?" Her concern is borderline anger and I flinch at the thought. "We broke up. He..." I stutter out my response, not knowing what to say. I signed an NDA. I promised Christian I'd never tell. "He what, Ana? You're really worrying me!" Kate grabs my shoulders to steady me, but it's too late, the tears are already returning. "Shit! Just sit down." She lowers me to the couch and takes a seat next to me. "We don't have to talk about it right now, just whenever you're ready, okay. How about I make you some tea and we just relax for a minute. I'll tell you all about Barbados." Kate smiles at me, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. She's not going to be able to let this go. I'll have to tell her everything.

Kate brings me tea and sits with me on the couch while I drink it. It's my favorite. English Twinning's. She tells me about her short lived vacation with Elliot. It seems to me that she was enjoying herself. Yet when Elliot tried to pursue a more serious relationship with her, she told him she didn't want it. She left early and they broke things off. It's strange. I thought that'd be what she wanted, but apparently I was wrong. Poor Elliot. He must be heartbroken. It takes a special woman for someone like him to want to settle down so for her to not want the same must be devastating. I feel much calmer once I've finished my tea and heard Kate's story. As soothing as it is to listen to her voice, I know it's now my turn to talk. "When Christian and I met he warned me that he wasn't into the whole relationship thing. I suppose you already noticed that by his behavior. I stupidly thought I could change him and I realize now how wrong I was to think that. It just seemed to me that perhaps he was wanting more. All the little moments we had...the night we slept together for the first time, meeting his family, when he visited me in Georgia. I thought it was all leading up to a bigger compromise. That he would want a real relationship with me instead of just a sexual one like what he's used to pursuing. He made it clear that wasn't what he wanted, but I wouldn't just take his word for it. I kept pushing him to be something he was not. I should've just let him go a long time ago. The kind of sexual relationship he's interested in is something I've never wanted, yet I tried to understand for him. Kate, you have to promise not to tell anyone." I start, knowing I'm saying too much already, but I need to go on. I need her to promise not to tell. "I promise." I swallow hard and nod, willing myself to continue. "He wanted me to be his sex slave for lack of better words. I know how bad that sounds, but it wasn't like you'd think. Most of what we did together was fun and exciting. But he wanted to do more, things I wasn't comfortable with. I wanted to understand why he couldn't be happy with the things I had agreed with. I didn't get why he felt the need to punish me or why he seemed to get off on my pain. I told him to show me the worst of it. So he did. Afterwards I realized that he couldn't love me the way I did him. That he wanted to see me in pain. So I left." Kate doesn't say a word for a moment, for once she looks utterly speechless. Her lack of words doesn't last for long though. Before I know it she's bombarding me with questions and I do my best to answer it all. We stay there on the couch for hours just talking. I tell her every little detail of Christian and I's relationship. Somehow talking about it feels better. It helps me to clear up some of the chaos in my head. For once Kate doesn't judge. She just listens and occasionally offers some encouragement or helps me to clarify things I've left unclear. By the end of the night I feel much better than I did when I arrived home. But there's still the image of Christians haunted eyes as he watched me leave in the back of my brain reminding me that I'm not the only one who's heart is split in two.


	2. Chapter 2

Ana's Pov;

Three days pass. I've not heard a word from Christian. In fact, I've hardly even thought of him. Instead of lying in a puddle of my own tears and swimming in heartbreak over Christian I've spent almost every second of my time with Kate. We eat meals together, mostly composed of takeout so we don't have to cook. We watch movies in the living room late at night, I lay in her arms as we do, wrapped in blankets and her warmth. We run errands together instead of separately. She gives me a ride to work on my first day of my new job so I don't have to ride the bus. She picks me up afterwards too. We get ready for work in our shared bathroom and she helps me look presentable. I'm not used to dressing so professionally and working at an office job. She eases my anxiety about it by helping me pick a whole new work wardrobe and her compliments are never ending. She makes me feel confident, something I'm not used to feeling much of. My days since I left Christian are not empty as I thought. They're filled with Kate. Surprisingly I feel happy. I never feel alone, unlike when I was with him and I constantly felt like I was alone even when he was standing right next to me. I know I owe it all to Kate for picking me back up when I was broken by him. I haven't been able to sleep in my own bed yet, I know I'll only dream of him if I'm left alone with my thoughts. So, I take up residence in Kate's bedroom. Her bed's plenty big and She doesn't seem to mind the extra company. We support each other. Everything we do, we do as a team. It's the only way I've made it this far without shutting down.

Jack Hyde, my new boss leans over my desk. He makes a poor attempt at small talk as I finish up my last few emails of the day. He's overbearing, to say the least. I try to be friendly towards him because he's my boss and I want him to like me. I need him to if I ever want to get anywhere with this job. It's hard though. Every time I make eye contact his blue eyes twinkle at me. He eyes me in that way that I've only ever noticed Christian doing. I hate it. I hate any reminder of Christian. It only brings a dull ache to my chest. As much as I want to give my new boss the benefit of the doubt he's creepy and I tell Kate that as she drives us back to the apartment. To our home. "God, he sounds awful, Ana. I'm sorry you have to deal with that." She reaches out and strokes my hair with one hand, keeping the other firmly on the steering wheel. I take a deep breath, staring out the window at traffic. "It's fine. Nothing I can't manage." Kate offers me a small supportive smile and I try to return the look.

Once we're back at the apartment we have dinner as usual. I cook this time. Then Kate shuffles around the apartment, picking up. "Hey, Ana. What's this?" She questions, approaching me holding up my deflated Charlie Tango balloon. "A balloon." I answer, my voice shaking just a little. Shit! I've gotta relax. It's just a balloon. It's not Christian himself. "Do you want me to throw it out for you or no?" She asks, eyeing it awkwardly. "uh...um...just keep it for now. In my room, please." I stammer out. She gives me a weird look, but goes along with what I said and puts it in my bedroom where it belongs. After the awkward balloon encounter she leaves me alone for a while and continues with her nightly routine. She showers and hops into bed in her room. When I exit the bedroom to take my turn in the shower she's just starting a movie on the TV. I take my shower slowly, taking my time. The warm water helps me relax and forget about the stress of working with my creepy boss and the unwanted thoughts of Christian brought on by the Charlie Tango balloon.

Kate and I sit in her bed side by side, both dressed in comfy clothes to sleep in and our eyes are glued to the tv. Or at least I thought both our eyes were glued to the screen. When I glance over at her she's staring at me. She looks away when I catch her and I instantly feel bad for even looking at her. She probably wasn't even staring at me. I'm just paranoid after working with Hyde. Her arm wraps tighter around me than before and I appreciate the gesture. She does it often. It's like a little arm hug. "You okay?" I check on her. She looks like she's deep in thought. "Yeah. Fine." She flashes me her dazzling smile and I shrug it off. "Okay." After a while I feel her eyes on me again. "Ana." I turn to look at her at the sound of my name. "Yeah?" She looks at me intently and leans in just a bit. I can feel her breath on me. "Ugh, god! I'm sorry." She moves away and buries her face in her hands. "Kate, what's going on?" I'm concerned about her now. Something's definitely off. "I'm so sorry, Ana. I think that maybe my being so nice to you these last few days has been a little misplaced. It's not that I don't want to be your friend. I'll always be your best friend. It's just I think I've been unintentionally taking advantage of your post-breakup neediness and I swear I didn't mean to." I frown. She's not making any sense to me. "What are you talking about?" I ask, she shakes her head then takes a deep breath. "I like you, Ana." Her words shock me. I gasp, but I can't get my brain to think of words to say. She drops her face back into her hands. "Kate." I say her name without thinking and grab her face in my hands. I force her to look at me instead of hiding her face and once I do I can't look away. Her beautiful green eyes have me hooked. "I like you too." I whisper, then I kiss her.


	3. Chapter 3

Kate's Pov;

Ana just kissed me. I can't believe it. It's impossible. How did we go from being just friends, roommates, to this...to her kissing me. Me wanting her to kiss me... It's so much to take in at once. I pull away for a second, just to stare into her eyes. She looks just as surprised as me, but also steady. She wants this too. I pull her in for a kiss, a real kiss this time, long and deep and filled with emotion. She wraps herself around me and I hold her on my lap, kissing her over and over again. We don't do any talking, there's no need, our bodies do the talking for us. There's no time for overthinking. There's only right now. I'm in the moment with her. There's no place I'd rather be. Our hips grind against each other, both eager for more. We quickly fumble to undress each other, both of us giggling at the awkwardness of it. I don't think either of us were prepared for this, but we make it work. I give her space to lay herself down on my bed. She's fully naked and panting now. Ready. There's nothing left to do but to take that next step. The one that'll really change everything. I take a breath, then I go down on her. I didn't know what to do at first, but I learn quickly. It's not hard once I find the right rhythm for her. Her legs are hooked over my shoulders and she's practically writhing beneath me. Just the sight of her is arousing. Her taste, the sweet sounds she makes, they're just more to add onto the experience. When she's finished I sit back, unsure what happens next. I expected us just to go to sleep, but then she surprises me by returning the favor. The next morning I wake with her next to me, neither of us bothered to put clothes back on. Holy shit! I've just had sex with Ana. I'm overwhelmed with a deep feeling of happiness but also anxiety. What happens next? I don't know.

The door buzzer goes off when I'm in the kitchen looking for something to make as breakfast. The sound startles me. It hardly ever goes off, especially not at this time of morning. I press the intercom, my curiosity piqued. "Delivery for a Ms.Steele." The man announces, and I open up the door for him. He holds out a bouquet of roses to me and I take it. "Thanks." I mumble, closing the door on him. I stare at the flowers, confused as ever. Two dozen long-stemmed roses stare me back. Then I notice a small note. They're from Christian. Shit! "What is that?" Ana's sleepy voice interrupts my panic. I turn around and see her standing a few feet away dressed only in her t-shirt and panties. "It's from Christian." I state, passing the flowers off to her. Her expression is unreadable as she looks over the note and sets the bouquet on the counter. "His assistant must've sent them." She finally says, her voice empty and hollow. "Do you want me to throw them out?" I ask, suddenly defensive. God, where did that come from? I've really got to watch my tone. "No, it's fine. We'll just leave them here. No big deal." Ana tries to shrug it off, but I don't buy it. This means something to her. It has to.

Later in the day Josè calls Ana to remind her that his photography exhibit is tonight. "Hey! Tell him I'm coming!" I shout, getting Ana's attention. "Tell him I'm your date instead of Christian!" Ana rolls her eyes at me. "Kate's home early so she's coming after all." She tells Josè. "Great. See you then." Is all she says before he hangs up. I let Ana borrow my plum dress for the event and I dress in a similarly styled dress only in a more mauve toned color. We help each other with the final touches of getting ready. Then I drive us to the gallery opening. I take her hand and assist her out of the car. Then I open the door for her to enter. We walk in together, arms interlocked and all. We're greeted by a very fashionable older woman and offered drinks. We accept the champagne glasses from her. Then we wander around the gallery, admiring Josè's work. He's an amazing photographer. I'll give him that. "Look at the one with the bird in the background!" Ana screams, drawing my attention to a landscape picture with pigeons in the background of it. It's a nice picture. I'll have to tell Josè that when we see him.

Ana and I wander around the exhibit for what seems like at least an hour without any luck finding Josè. Then we realize there's a section of photographs we didn't see before. Crowds of people are swarming them. They all point to Ana and whisper and I hold her arm tighter to my side. Why are they all looking at her like that? Shit. That's why. All the photos are of her. They're all full face portraits of her many expressions. They're beautiful, but intrusive. Couldn't he have asked before presenting these tonight? Ana looks like she's going to choke on her own spit seeing all the photos of herself. "Hey, there's Josè." I grab her arm and steer her attention to where he's standing with a couple women talking to him. I let her handle talking to him while I just stand back. I feel bad for Josè. She's pissed. She comes back to me a few minutes later. "Everything alright?" I ask, looking her up and down. "Yeah. I yelled at him a little, but it's fine. Just embarrassing." She mutters, her mood soured by the invasion of privacy. We start to walk in the opposite direction when I see him, Christian. He approaches us, slowly, his eyes only on Ana. She's frozen like a deer in headlights. Stuck in his gaze. I step forward, blocking his view of her, ready to protect her.


	4. Chapter 4

Christian's Pov;

Since she left there's been nothing but darkness. I go through the motions, each day is more empty than the last. In the back of my mind is her delicate face, dark moist lashes, pale skin, slightly reddened cheeks, teary wide blue eyes filled with pain. Pain I caused. She's gone. The only woman I've ever loved. And there's no one else to blame but myself. Nothing I do can dull the agony I feel at the realization. Flynn's words don't bring me any solace. I no longer have any desire when I see the locked door of the playroom. I can't even bring myself to unlock the door. There's too many painful memories trapped inside. I will never see her again. My Ana is no longer mine. She'll never taunt me with her smart mouth, or gaze at me with amusement. She won't be cooking in my kitchen in the morning. She won't take me into her light. I'm all alone in the dark. In the days that pass the world moves on, but I can't. She's all I think about. My nightmares worsen. I begin to stalk her house, just hoping to get a glimpse of her. I've heard from Elliot that Kate's back at the apartment with her now. It's comforting knowing that she has Kate. At least with her there I know Ana will eat and drink and be properly taken care of. I still feel the need to keep an eye on Ana. I know it's wrong and obsessive, but I can't just let her go. What if Kate takes her out drinking again? What if Ana meets someone new? Or worse what if Jose tries to kiss her again and I'm not there to stop him? The thought of Jose reminds me of the gallery opening he's got coming up. Ana and I had plans to go together, but since Kate's home I'm sure she no longer needs me to accompany her. Although that doesn't necessarily mean my invite is revoked. Perhaps I should go, just to check up on her. I'm desperate to see her again. I decide to take the risk and go to the opening. I have to see her. I have to know if there's hope for us. In the meantime, I begin to devise my plan to win her back, starting with sending her a bouquet of white long-stemmed roses. She wanted hearts and flowers. I'm ready to give her just that. Whatever it takes to make her mine again. To heal the damage I have done.

 

 

Today is the day I win her back. I arrive at the gallery opening with a sense of purpose. I will make Anastasia mine again. I can be the man she needs me to be now. I'm sure of it. I just have to make her see. After having to deal with stares and unwanted compliments from many overly friendly women, finally I think I've reached the safe zone. The photographs are mediocre at best, but it doesn't matter. I'm not here for them. I'm here for her. It smells of cheap wine and all around me are hushed whispers and pointing, yet no sighting of Anastasia yet. What the hell are they all pointing like that for? At first I think all the commotion is directed at me, but within seconds I realize how wrong that was. It's her. She's everywhere in jaw-droppingly beautiful full portrait form. Anastasia Rose Steele. The woman I'm here to see, the woman I love. She's relaxed like I've never seen her. So happy and full of life unlike the last image of her I've had stuck in my brain since I last saw her. She's smiling, laughing. frowning, pouting, and serious. It's an exhibition of her in every form. They show a range of emotions but also such clear adoration from the photographer behind the stunning photos. Jealousy and rage flare up in me, knowing that he's probably making a pass at her right now. She has to be somewhere in here, the real her not the portrait format. I have to find her, but first I have to make sure that these photos have no chance of ever being ogled in such a way that they are now. I find the woman responsible for selling the pictures and insist on making them mine. She doesn't put up much of a fight before agreeing that as soon as the show is over they'll be delivered directly to me. Now for the real reason I came here, Anastasia.

 

It doesn't take long to find her, I just follow the whispers and impressed glances until I spot her talking with the photographer himself. She seems unhappy with him and the thought pleases me. Yes, baby. Tell his ass off. I smirk in amusement as she throws her hands up in frustration at whatever his excuse was for making her so angry. I have a strong feeling her sour mood towards him is about the photographs. She hates being put on display this way even though she's deserving of every ounce of attention it's gotten her. She's gorgeous and now everyone in this room knows it. She turns and walks out of my line of sight for a moment, then begins to walk in my direction with Kate's arm wrapped tightly around her waist. Now's my chance. I approach her cautiously, not taking my eyes off her. Her bright baby blues connect with Grey and she comes to a dead stop. I feel weak in the knees just looking at her. For a second it's like I'm staring into those captivating eyes of her's for the very first time all over again. Then Kate steps forward, blocking my view of Ana. Kate's green eyes convey her hatred clearly. She's not going to make this easy on me, not at all. She squeezes Ana's hand that she's began to hold for reassurance, but I'm not quite sure of what. I take a few steps forward, despite Kate's clear animosity towards me. I close the small gap of distance between us and hear Ana's sharp intake of breath. "Kate." I spit her name, giving her my most intimidating stare. She doesn't budge, doesn't even flinch. "Kate, It's fine. I can handle this." Anastasia softly pipes up and suddenly Kate backs off to let Ana talk to me. "Anastasia. It's a pleasure, as always, to see you." I utter, unexpected nervousness building inside of me. "What are you doing here, Christian?" She asks, her voice all business. "I came to see you." I confess, heart racing. Shit. Maybe coming here was a mistake. No, I needed to see her, regardless of how badly this mission could turn out. I need to try. "Why?" She asks, sounding genuinely baffled. "I wanted to talk to you, Perhaps in private?" I suggest, eyeing Kate with annoyance. She stands at full height, eyes hardened. She's not going to let me convince her of doing anything she doesn't want to do. "I'm not going anywhere without Kate." She makes her position clear. She won't be talking to me alone. But that doesn't mean we can't at least take this conversation into a less public place. People are starting to stare, and not just because of the portraits. "Fine. You can bring her with us." I amend, hesitantly. I have to show her I'm open to compromise. If that means having Kavanaugh tag along for the ride, I'll just have to tolerate it. Kate and I both escort Ana out with my one hand on Ana's back and Kate's hand still firmly grasping Ana's.


	5. Chapter 5

Christian's Pov;

As we exit the gallery building, I have to revise my plan and fast. This evening has not gone the way I had assumed it would originally, but that doesn't mean I should give up hope. Kate's interference isn't going to stop me from making sure Ana knows how strongly I feel for her. As we get outside I become aware of a restaurant close by. It likely isn't a five-star like what I would prefer for my reunion with Ana, but it's only a short walk down the street. It'll have to suffice. "How about we go to that restaurant down the street?" I suggest, pointing it out to the girls. "It'll give us a private place to talk and we can get some dinner." Kate shrugs and mumbles a reluctant agreement. Then Ana speaks up. "That'll be fine. We haven't eaten yet." She says, half to me and half to Kate. Now that we're all in agreement, we can proceed to actually go into the restaurant. I don't have much time, Taylor will be here to pick us all up in a little under an hour. I'll have to text him in advance that I've got both Kate and Ana with me and hopefully they'll accept the ride home. I open the door for the two women at my side, then follow in behind them. The restaurant appears decent, although somewhat low-budget. A waiter leads our trio to a table and he's a little too welcoming to the girls. His demeanor towards them irritates me. Ana is mine and Elliot would lose his shit if he found out I let another man get his paws on Kate. I order the meal and drinks at the same time, not wanting to prolong this ordeal in anyway. "We'd all like sirloin steak cooked medium, fries for the table, and side salads. I'll need a copy of the wine list right away." The man looks shocked at my assertiveness, but he composes himself. "Yes, Sir. I'll get that for you and be back in a moment." Ana purses her lips, her eyes annoyed. Kate looks appalled. "What?" I regard them both. "You're just going to order for us, without even asking what we'd like?" Kate hisses. "What if I didn't want steak?" Ana asks, brow furrowed in irritation. "Would you like me to tell him to get you something else?" I respond only to Ana. She's my main concern, always. She presses her fingertips to her temples and massages her forehead. "No, you've already ordered. Steak's fine." She mutters. The waiter returns with the wine list and I skim it briefly. "Would you like to chose the wine?" I ask Ana, fully aware of her minimal knowledge of wine. She shakes her head, still sulking. "How about you, Kate? Do you have any suggestions?" My voice is heavy with sarcasm. Kate just presses her lips tightly together as her answer. "Bring us a bottle of Barbarossa Valley Shiraz." He nods, then retreats, only to return moments later, bottle in hand. I take the bottle and pour us each a glass to enjoy while we wait on our food. "Thank You." Ana smiles, her sour mood suddenly sweeter. "My pleasure, Miss Steele." Ana blushes and Kate just rolls her eyes and takes a huge gulp of wine. Now's my chance to start talking, yet no words seem to come out. Come on grey, tell her what you want. "Before you left you told me that you loved me. Is that still true?" I choke out my question, terrified to hear the answer, but also hopeful. I need to know that there's still hope for us, that somewhere deep down she still cares. "Of course." She confesses, her sincerity brings relief bubbling up inside me. There's still hope. She shouldn't love me, yet somehow she does. It's wrong, I know. Like an angel loving a demon. "I don't think there's anything you could do to make that untrue. I've missed you, Christian. So much. But I've come to terms with the fact that I can't be what you want. It's just not who I am." Her expression is bleak, voice bereft of emotion. "No. That's not true. You're all I want, Ana. Don't ever think that you're not." I reach out to her and give her hand a reassuring squeeze. She exchanges a glance with Kate that I don't understand and tugs her hand out of my grasp. "Christian that can't be true or we wouldn't be in the situation we're in now." I nod, memories of that horrible last day with her. The day she left. "What happened was a mistake. I should have never lost control that way. I can't tell you how sorry I am." She closes her eyes as if in pain, but she nods in acceptance of my apology. "Christian, I know I asked you to show me the worst, but I didn't realize exactly what that meant when I said it. It wasn't that I didn't know the physical aspects. I just didn't realize emotionally the way it would feel. Hurting me in that way it was humiliating. Then to see that you were enjoying it- that you were actually getting off on my pain, it's sick." I swallow hard, feeling nothing but guilt and regret at her words. To hear the way I've made her feel is heartbreaking. Yet I know that she's right. She never wanted to be apart of that lifestyle. It was wrong of me to try and force her. "I know I could have safe worded. I should have, but I was caught up in trying to be what you wanted, what you needed." Ana's voice is filled with sadness. She's defeated. I exhale deeply, looking at her beautiful but heartbroken elfin face. "I've spent my entire life trying to avoid emotion, going to the extremes to keep my distance, but you bring out such emotion in me. It's unsettling. You always keep me on my toes, Miss Steele." I love control, but with her all control is lost. She has all the power in our relationship. "You keep me on my toes too, Mr. Grey. The threat of unusual and cruel punishment is always there." I wince at the serious undertones in her teasing words. I make her afraid. I don't know how to make her trust me again, but I need to gain back her trust if I want to win her back. "I want to try again, Anastasia. I want you back more than anything. I want you to be able to trust me again. I just don't know where to start." I look at her face and she's assessing me carefully, as if in disbelief. "Well, communicating with me is a good start." She grins and I return the look. "Here's what I propose. No rules, no punishments. Just a normal vanilla relationship. Then maybe later on we can do some of the things I like." Here it is, my best offer. "What about your needs?" Ana asks, her voice more curious than accusing. "I need you more than anything else, Anastasia. Being without you has been hell. I know I don't deserve you, but I want to be deserving of you someday. I want to try. If you'll give me that chance." My voice is soft, almost pleading. "You intimidate me. You confuse and manipulate me. You're so hard to follow. All your mood swings and deep rooted issues. I love you so much, but I don't know how to handle you." She confesses, her expression conflicted. "We can work on that. Just give me a chance, please Ana. Let me make this right." She shakes her head in dismay. "It's not that simple." She's holding something back. I can feel it. Shit. Has she met someone else already? Is she with the photographer? I just knew he'd get his grubby paws on her If I wasn't there to stop him. I look over at Kate for a moment, who's nearly downed half the bottle of wine in the brief time Ana and I have spoken. Our food came a while ago, but while Ana and I have eaten, Kate's barely finished a bite. I know she knows something. It's all over her face. That's when I look down and notice her hand holding Ana's beneath the table. I can't help the puzzled expression on my face as I look between the two. I've clearly missed something in my persistent attempt to win Ana back, but what exactly? "Christian...Kate and I have been closer since she returned home. She's been there for me when you haven't and I feel like with her I'm learning new things about myself and being open to all these new feelings and experiences." Ana says, sounding almost embarrassed. "I'm still confused." I admit, feeling completely lost in this new turn of conversation. "Ana and I had sex you idiot." Kate exclaims and Ana gasps and swats her shoulder. "What?" I look to Ana and her cheeks are tinged bright pink. "Is this true?" I ask her, my voice strangled with shock and confusion. "Yes." She mumbles, looking down at the table. "Oh." Is all I can think to say. It all comes back to me now. Kate's over protectiveness of Ana. The hand holding and touches of affection. It's been right in front of my eyes all along. How could I be so stupid to have missed that? The thought of my sweet innocent Ana being with a women is both amusing and arousing. If it was anyone but Kate I'd probably be ready to jump for joy over such a revelation. After a while of silence to process this new information I realize Ana's waiting for me to speak. I can live with this, I have to. I can't lose her again, not to Kate. "Okay. I can handle that." I assure her, hoping to bring some of the blood burning in her cheeks back to the other areas of her face. My phone buzzes with a text from Taylor notifying me that he's here. I summon the waiter, take the check, and pay, despite a small fight put up by Kate. "Taylor will give you both a ride home." I tell the girls rather than ask. "What about my car?" Kate questions, not entirely sold on my giving them a ride home. "Taylor will retrieve that and have it returned to you in the morning." Kate reluctantly agrees and we all walk out to his waiting car together.

 

Soft music plays on the drive home as Ana dozes off wedged between Kate and I. She sleeps with her body leaning against Kate's shoulder, one hand on my lap, as Kate and I stare out our opposite windows. Even with the added issue her new feelings for Kate have presented, I still consider dinner a success. I'll just have to take this one step at a time. When we arrive at her apartment Ana is still fast asleep. I'm reluctant to wake her and before I can Kate does. "Ana, we're home wake up." Kate whispers, nudging Ana's shoulder. She sits up abruptly, eyes wide. Still sleepy and adorable. I help Ana out of the car on my side while Kate walks around us to unlock the door. "I have something to give you before you go." I announce, as Ana is about to leave. "Ana, I'll be inside waiting for you." Kate says, then she walks inside to give us a moment alone. I open up the trunk and give Ana her gift. It's a box containing her phone, Mac and an iPad. I hope she'll enjoy the gift. I put a lot of thought into the apps and music downloaded on the iPad for her. She accepts the gift box with a gracious smile. "When can I see you again?" I ask, not wanting to let her go. "Tomorrow?" She suggests, hopeful. "Tomorrow." I repeat with certainty. "I'll see you then, Anastasia." I say it as a promise. One I'm certain I will keep. She smiles and bites her lip in that cute and utterly irresistible way she does. I can't hold back any longer. I have to at least give her a kiss goodnight. We both lean in at the same time, and I cup her chin in my hands to hold her steady as I kiss her sweet lips. I trace a few soft kisses along her mouth and neck and she moans beneath me. The sound resonates beneath the belt, but I know I must wait. "Goodnight, Anastasia." I whisper her name with longing. "Goodnight, Christian." My longing echoes in her voice. "Laters, Baby." I whisper with a playful smile, then I turn and walk back to the car. Once inside the car, I glance in her direction. Sure enough, She's there in the doorway, watching as my car disappears down the dark road.


	6. Chapter 6

Ana's Pov;

Once Christian's car has disappeared I head inside and close and lock the door behind me. Kate is nowhere to be seen, but I can hear her shuffling around in the bedroom, probably getting herself ready for bed. I kick my shoes off by the door and I can't wait any longer. I pry open the gift box and find that Christian has took it upon himself to return my Mac book and Blackberry. He really can't take no for an answer can he? Especially not when it comes to his overbearing and expensive choices in gifts. Underneath I find another smaller rectangular box. I unwrap it's paper coating and see there's an even smaller black case inside. It's an iPad. More technology, of course, how couldn't I have seen that one coming? My heart swells with love when I see that he's filled it with his own choice in music. It's a fifty shades approved mix tape, made to say all the things his mouth couldn't. He's really put a lot of thought into this gift. The lock screen image is oh the model glider I gave him mounted on his desk at work. I couldn't have dreamed of a more romantic and thoughtful gift from my heartbroken fifty shades. He really has missed me. More than I expected he would. He's stocked the iPad with tons of apps, including one for my own personal digital library. I'm grinning from ear to ear as I change into my pajamas and complete my nightly routine, all the while keeping the iPad with me. I'm scrolling through pages and pages of books added to my library on the iPad when Kate finds me still in the bathroom. "Another gift from Christian?" Kate asks, already knowing the answer. I grin and nod. "Come to bed." She motions for me to come with her and I do, wanting nothing more than to be in the comfort of her arms after such an emotionally exhausting day. I curl up in a ball on Kate's bed and she wraps her arms around me from behind, as I plug in my earbuds and press play on the playlist Christian made me. I listen to the lyrics as my eyes grow heavy and I feel Kate relax into a deep sleep beside me. The songs are beautiful, romantic, and even melancholy. Knowing Christian chose them specifically for me brings tears to my eyes. If this isn't an apology, I don't know what is. I have to thank him before I go to sleep. I send him a text, fighting against sleep with all my strength.

You've made me cry. I love the gift. I love the songs. I love you. Thank you. Goodnight.

I start to drift off, but my eyes shoot open when I hear a ping. It's Christian of course.

Goodnight, Anastasia. Dream of me.

That night I dream of him.

 

The next day at work moves along slowly, boring. When the day is almost up I agree to go out for a drink with Jack after work, but before the drink can even start I begin to regret it. Ever since I agreed to go on this spontaneous after work drink I've had a bad feeling deep in the pit of my stomach. When I'm exiting my office building a young woman intercepts me outside the door. "Miss Steele?" She speaks my name cautiously, taking a step towards me. She's pale, almost sickly looking, and has an empty expression on her face. Even as she says my name I notice there's no emotion in her face. She just appears blank, empty. "Yes?" I answer, my voice shaky. Who is this woman? Why does she know my name when I've never seen her a day in my life? Something is wrong, I can feel it. Yet, I'm paralyzed where I stand. She hasn't spoken, so I try again. "Is there something I can do to help you?" I ask. She certainly looks like she needs some help, but I wouldn't know what to do to be of any assistance to her. "No, I just wanted to see you." She speaks softly, almost a whisper. She has long tresses of dark hair that looks dirty as if she hasn't showered in a few days. Her eyes are dark brown and lifeless. "I'm sorry. Do I know you?" She shakes her head at my question, seeming upset. "No. I'm... I'm nobody." She whispers, as if to herself. Only then do I see the bandages on her wrists. I shiver, but I have no time to respond before Jack comes out the door and begins to lead me down the street to the bar. We get our drinks and I try to make small talk, but I can't get the strange woman out of my mind. Somehow, Christian must have something to do with this. I just need to figure out what. Jack places a hand on my wrist, in a seemingly harmless gesture, but it makes my skin crawl. I pull my hand away just as I hear Christian's voice behind me. "There you are." He kisses my hair and I turn and smile at him. He showed up just in time. My hero, as always. "Jack, this is Christian." I stutter out, trying to deflect the attention from the awkward hand to wrist touching situation. "Her boyfriend." Christian adds, cockily. I don't remember us specifically getting back together, but I'll let it slide if it keeps Jack at a safe distance. "I see. Well, It's a pleasure to meet you." Jack and Christian shake hands, but It's not a friendly gesture. "Likewise. Ready to go, baby?" Christian asks, giving me a much needed exit ticket. "Yep. See you at work." I mumble to Jack, then I take off out the door with Christian as fast as I can.

 

Christian and I stand in Kate and I's kitchen back at the apartment. He watches as I search for the proper ingredients to make stir fry. "At least your refrigerator seems well stocked." Christian notes, sounding pleased. "Kate just went to the store a couple nights ago." I mumble, setting out the chicken and vegetables on the counter. "I see." He states, rather dryly. His aversion to Kate is nothing new to me, so I don't bother to question his tone. "I heard my name." Kate chirps, walking over to us appearing fully dressed in going out clothes. "Of course you did." Christian mutters, sourly. "I was just telling Christian that you're responsible for the ingredients to this lovely meal we're about to prepare." I say, in explanation. "Ah. That I am. I'm heading out for a bit with some friends. Give you two some alone time. I'll be back tonight though." Kate runs her fingers through a section of my hair in an affectionate gesture. "Okay." I mumble, staring down at the floor. She then leans in and kisses my forehead and offers me a brilliant smile, before heading to the doorway. "Bye!" She calls, then leaves, closing the door behind her. I'm blushing bright pink from her overly affectionate goodbye and staring down at my toes when Christian clears his throat to get my attention. "How about if you cut the peppers. That should be simple enough." I declare, recovering myself. I help him get started on the vegetables, then I begin to work on the chicken. I brush up against him as we work, purposely distracting him from the task at hand. His reactions are rather entertaining to watch. Every time I bump him with my hip or an arm, his body stills in response and his eyes darken with desire. "Anastasia, we're never going to get to eat if you don't stop." He states darkly, making everything below my waist clench. "I don't know what you're talking about. I think we're making quite a lot of progress." I play innocent, batting my eyelashes at him. "I think you know exactly what I'm talking about." He stares me down, all joking aside, and my whole body flushes. "Oh, really..." I stall for time, placing our half-prepped meal in the fridge for later. "How about if we take this to the bedroom?" He suggests, his voice cool and seductive. It warms my whole body. "Um..." I bite my lip, realizing that my charlie tango balloon is very likely still in my un-slept-in bed. That's embarrassing. "Is that not what you wanted?" He asks, his voice cautious now, concerned. "No, it's not that. It's just been a while since I've slept in my own bed." I murmur. Christian raises his eyebrows at me as the implications of what I've just said hit me. "Not like that." I rush to correct myself, but it's too late. He's already clearly taken it in the wrong way. I cover my face with my palm, beyond embarrassed. "And to think all this time I've been celibate." Christian chuckles and I slide my fingers away from my eyes so I can see him. He doesn't seem upset as I expected, only vaguely amused. I remove my hands from my face and he closes the small gap between us. He presses his fingertips to my jaw, forcing me to look up at him. "What do you say we put your neglected bedroom to good use?" He asks, eyes burning into mine with sheer desire. I nod, a small smile appearing on my face. I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him into my kiss. He swiftly lifts me up into his arms and carries me to the bedroom to in his words put the room to good use.


	7. Chapter 7

Christian's Pov;

She tastes so sweet as she moans into my mouth as we kiss. I take a fistful of her hair in my hand and pull her head back, deepening the kiss. When we arrive in the bedroom I place her gently on the floor and reach behind me to flick on the light. I take a few slow steps towards the window and pull the curtains closed. Then I return to stand before her as she stares into me, eyes wide with a mingle of excitement and curiosity. "What now? Baby, I'm all yours." I state plainly, awaiting her instruction. I want her naked and entirely at my mercy. I want her to beg for more. "Undress me, please." She whispers, her voice raw and her face flushed. I yank open the front of her blouse and tug it down off her shoulders. I lean in for a kiss as I do, but it's just a quick teasing peck. Nothing like before. My breathing quickens as I watch the steady rise and fall of her chest. She licks her lips in anticipation and I continue with undressing her. I tug her undershirt up over her head, leaving her bare breasts exposed and begging for my touch. I fall to my knees in front of her and help her out of her jeans. "What next?" I whisper, my hot breath against her sex. Her eyes meet mine as I kneel before her, awaiting my command. "Kiss me." Her gaze is erotic, dark, and intense. Suddenly my pants feel several sizes too small. I can't wait to get out of them and get into her, but I have to restrain myself. We're taking things slow this time. I happily oblige her request, slipping her panties down her long slender legs and pulling her into me. My hands hold grip her backside, holding her front to my mouth. My tongue swirls around and around as her hips buck against me. The delectable scent of her arousal is nothing compared to the mouth-watering taste. "Christian!" She gasps my name, breathless, as she throws her head back in pure bliss. She grabs hold of my jaw and forcefully pushes my head back and lifts me up to her height. I am putty in her hands as she kisses me deeply, lovingly, tasting her own arousal on my lips. Fuck. I grab her hands and guide them to the waistband of my jeans and she seems to get the message. She ends the kiss and drops down, taking my pants with her. She then takes me in her mouth and sucks hard, determined. Her warm wet mouth wraps around me as she sucks. "Ana, stop." I hiss. I don't want to come in her mouth. She retracts and I lift her up in my arms and toss her on the bed. I retrieve a condom from my jean pocket and put it on while she's spread out on the bed, waiting for me. We're both panting, breathless, and needy for each other, as I hover over her and push her legs apart. I want her so badly, and by some miracle right now she's mine. I ease into her, wrapping up my hands in her dark halo of chestnut hair. She looks so gorgeous. I move slowly, relishing the feeling of being inside of her. She moans beneath me, bucking her hips against me as I quicken my pace. I fuck her hard and fast, rough. She's mine, all mine, and no one can take her from me. 

We stay in each others arms, just gazing into each others eyes. Her's are such a lovely deep shade of blue. They dazzle me. I stare into the face of the woman I love, feeling an unsettling sense of vulnerability. "Don't ever leave me again." I whisper, pleading. I need her like I've never needed anybody. "Okay." She breathes, a sweet smile playing on her lips. Relief fills me, replacing any doubts I had. This woman loves me. No matter what else happens she loves me. "So, how come you haven't been sleeping in your bed?" I ask, recalling our earlier conversation, before the lovemaking. "Kate's bed is more comfortable." She says simply, with a shrug. "You know...I could buy you a new bed. One that's ten times more comfortable than Kate's with memory foam and a bunch of big fluffy pillows. Just say the word." I offer, only half-serious. I know she wouldn't take me up on that offer even if her bed was crumbling at the seams, but I had to give it a try. I don't like the idea of her sleeping in the same bed as Kate. It's be too easy for Kate to weasel her way into Ana's panties. I glance down at Ana and she's smiling, amused by my not so subtle jealousy over the sleeping arrangements in this place. There's no way I'm talking her into sleeping in her own bedroom alone, not after she's made up her mind about taking up room in Kate's bed. "I like sleeping with Kate. She's warm and soft and smells nice. Her company makes me feel much better than even the most expensive memory foam." Ana admits, her voice quiet and soft. "We never did get to eat our meal you know." I change the subject to food rather than to continue talking about the infamous Katherine Kavanaugh. "I Know." Ana mumbles. "Cook me some food, wench. I'm starving over here." I nudge her arm and she giggles. "On it, sir.' She gives me a seductive wink, then climbs out of bed to go prepare our dinner.

Ana cooks our meal in just her blouse and panties while I patiently watch, not wanting to screw anything up by trying to help. When she's done we sit on the rug to eat and sip on some chilled Pinot Grigio. It's the perfect post-sex meal. "How long do you think we have until Kate gets home?" I ask, hoping I wont have to rearrange my plans to avoid a very awkward interaction with Kate. "She's out with friends. They'll probably go out for drinks. I'd say we have the rest of the night before a very intoxicated Kate returns and collapses on her bed." Ana says, confirming what I already assumed. "Kate's not one to miss out on a good chance for drinking." Ana adds, cracking a smile. "So I've noticed." As long as Kate's out that means I have more time with Ana all to myself. "Would you like some dessert?" Ana asks, collecting both of our dishes to take to the sink. "Yes, I think I would." I lick my lips, eyeing her hungrily. "Not me. I was thinking more like ice cream." She stands and takes our dishes to the sink while I watch from the floor. "Even better." I smirk, taking a stand to join her in the kitchen. "What flavor?" I ask and she smiles seemingly amused. "Vanilla." She bites her lip and holds out a carton of Ben & Jerry's vanilla. "Delicious. Come with me, I have an idea." I lead her back into the bedroom and we go for round two, this time using a tub of vanilla ice cream as a prop to our sexual game. We have our fill of each other and of the ice cream, then we shower off the sticky residue and get some much needed sleep together in her bed.


	8. Chapter 8

Christian's Pov;

In my dreams Ana never leaves my side. She holds my hand tightly, keeping us intertwined. She's all mine and I'm all hers. We chase the dawn and the dusk in Charlie Tango. We fly through the air, high above all of civilization. The setting sun gives off brilliant mood lighting, all orange and pink. We fly in my glider and Ana's giggle is all I hear. I'm surrounded in the lovely sound. We do flips in the sky, making her shrieks of excitement grow louder each time. She's happy. I can make her happy. She screams suddenly and it's bone chilling. Oh, Ana. What's wrong? She screams again and I'm lost, suffocating.

I wake with a pounding heart. Ana is beside me still, tossing from side to side. She screams again and this time I'm awake to hear it. "Ana!" I call her name and shake her awake. She jerks and gasps, still terrified, but awake. "Christian." She whispers my name and she's small and fragile. My heart aches for her. "Ana, baby. What's wrong? What we're you dreaming about?" Her lashes flutter, rapidly. She squints her eyes in confusion. "There was a girl." She says, almost accusatory. "What girl?" She blinks, as if struggling to remember. She then sits up, fully awake now. "She was outside SIP. She approached me and she knew knew my name, but I've never met her. She looked sick like she was hurt or something. There was bandages on her wrists and she just sounded so...empty." My scalp tingles at her description. I recognize the woman right away. It has to be Leila. There's no one else this could be. What does she want with Ana? Is she trying to get to me? "When did this happen?" I ask, searching for information now. I have to notify Welch asap. "When I was leaving work to go with Jack for a drink." All the dials in my brain start moving, forming a plan. "Do you know her, Christian?" Ana asks, her eyes wide with fear. "Yes. I've been looking for her a while now. Welch more specifically has been looking for her. Her name is Leila." She frowns, recognizing Leila's name. "She's your ex-sub. The one who put the music on your iPod." She looks to me for confirmation and I nod. "Yes. Did She say what she wanted when she saw you?" I press, looking for answers. I'm worried now, both for Ana and for Leila's safety. "Not really. Not anything that made any sense to me anyway. She just said she wanted to see me. She didn't even tell me her name. She just called herself nobody. It was strange." Ana mutters, a mix of confusion and pity in her eyes. Even though Leila frightened her I can see the compassion she feels for her. It only makes me want to protect her more. Ana is innocent and I don't want any of the ghosts from my past to taint her. I stumble out of bed at once and retrieve my phone to call Welch. He answers after the first ring and It occurs to me that he must've been awake. "Mr.Grey." He answers, not seeming disturbed in the slightest. "I'm sorry to call so early and unexpectedly." I apologize out of politeness, even though I'm positive he doesn't mind the early call. It's five in the morning. Maybe he gets up this time everyday. I begin to pace back and forth in Ana's kitchen as she watches from the kitchen counter. Her face is etched with concern. "Welch. Leila approached Anastasia Steele outside of her office yesterday. It was in the early evening." I report the incident to Welch, eyeing Ana as I do. She looks frightened and rightfully so, dressed only in my shirt and her hair in disarray from sleep. "Do you have an exact time?" Welch asks and I repeat his question to Ana. "It was just before six. About five forty-five." She says and I relay the information to Welch. "How did she even know Ana's whereabouts?" I wonder aloud. "She could've seen press photos of the two of you. Those are easily accessed by the public." Ana tilts her head sideways, listening intently. "I think you should consider additional security for Miss Steele at least until we get the situation under control." Welch suggests and I nod in agreement. "I'd say additional security is certainly in order. I don't want Leila anywhere near her. Not again." Ana pouts, hearing the part about additional security. "I'll talk to Anastasia about it. We'll work something out." I scratch my head in frustration, wondering exactly how I'll convince Ana to agree to the extra security. "I'll be sure to let Mr.Taylor and Mrs.Jones as soon as we're done here. I'll get my team on the trail, ready to investigate the general vicinity and see if we can find Leila from there." Welch assures me. "Let me know if you find anything. I want her safe." I hang up the call with a sigh of relief. I trust that Welch will get this under control. He's my best shot at finding Leila and getting her the help she needs. There's a shuffling in the distance and then Kate comes around the corner, rubbing her eyes vigorously. "What's going on?" She croaks, half asleep and likely hungover. "There was a...situation." Ana says, looking back and forth between Kate and I, unsure of exactly what to say. "How about if I make us all some tea?" Ana suggests and without waiting on an answer she begins to prepare some tea. She picks up a kettle, fills it with water, and heats it on the stove, while I brief Kate on the situation. "I don't understand. What does your crazy ex-girlfriend want with Ana?" Kate asks, looking just as confused as she was before I attempted to explain everything for her. "That's what we're trying to figure out." Kate gives me a pointed look as if I know more than I'm leading on. "So, there's nothing that could've brought this on that you're aware of?" She presses. I look to Ana, eyes pleading for her to come get Katherine off my ass. "You can tell us over tea." Ana states, handing out teacups to Kate and I. Fuck. "Okay." I concede, knowing it's against my better interest to argue with the two agonizingly stubborn women demanding my explanation. "Leila has some history with this kind of behavior." I start, hesitant to share the whole story. "While I went to visit you in Georgia, Leila showed up at my apartment unexpectedly and made a scene in front of Mrs.Jones." Kate and Ana share a look. "Mrs.Jones?" Kate asks. "His housekeeper." Ana states, filling Kate in on who Gail is. "What do you mean by that? Made a scene how?" Ana questions, directed at me. I shake my head, not wanting to go into detail any further. What Leila did was horrific. I don't want Ana to know about it. Leila attempted suicide in my apartment for a reason. She wanted my attention. She needed me and I wasn't there. I don't want Ana to know any of this, but I know for the sake of communication in our relationship I have to tell her. I breathe in deeply then begin again. "She was looking for me but I wasn't there. She was upset and she ended up slitting her wrists in front of Gail." Ana shudders and Kate wraps her arms around her shoulders to comfort her. "Gail got her to the hospital in time to save her life, but it was a close call. She discharged herself before I could even get to the hospital to see if she was okay. The psychiatrist who saw her labeled it a cry for help, but I'm not entirely convinced she didn't intend on actually killing herself. That's why I've been trying to find her. I'm worried for her and I want to help her get the help she clearly desperately needs." I admit, sharing my concerns with both Ana and Kate. "But you haven't been able to find her yet? What about her family or friends?" Kate asks, speaking the questions on her and Ana's minds. "They don't know where she is either. Her husband doesn't know anything as well." I state, filled with regret. I need to try harder to find her. It seems I'm the only one who truly cares about her at this point. "Husband?" Ana exclaims, eyes wide with shock. "She's been married for two years." I state. "Two years? She was with you while she was married?" I blanch at the accusation. "No! God, no! She was with me before that. She married him after she left me." The only married woman I've been with is Elena and Ana knows that. "So why does she want to get your attention now if it's been so long?" Ana asks. "I have no idea. I know she ran out on her husband approximately four months prior. Perhaps that has something to do with it." All I can do is guess. "You said she left you. Why?" I'm sure she had plenty of reasons, only one that she couldn't look past in the end. "She wanted more, I didn't." I shrug. Ana already knows she's the only woman I'd ever want more with. I've made it clear many times before. "She saw me with you. Do you think that's why she came back?" I nod. "I have to suspect that at least that's part of it." I hope I'm wrong, but I don't think I am. Ana studies me, appearing alarmed. "I'm going to get extra security for you. I couldn't live with myself if she were to even touch you." Just imaging what she could do to Ana given the opportunity strikes fear in my heart. I don't believe Leila to be dangerous, but I can't take any chances. Not where Ana's safety is concerned. "You too, Kate." I add. She's close to Ana and that makes her a target too. After a pause Kate's the first to speak. "I'm going to go back to sleep. Will you be okay?" She asks, looking to Ana. Ana nods, pulling Kate in for a hug. They embrace for a moment, then Kate slips away to her bedroom and Ana and I retreat back to hers.


	9. Chapter 9

Ana's Pov;

In the later more decent morning hours my room is flooded with bright sunlight and Christian is asleep beside me, arm still half-way draped over me. I grin, gazing at his peaceful resting face. He looks innocent, carefree, so different from when he's awake. I slither out from under his arm, careful not to wake him. When I'm free from his grasp and he's still unconscious, I tiptoe into the kitchen to fetch my man some breakfast in bed. But when I arrive to my kitchen it turns out we don't have much of a breakfast selection in stock. In fact, we have next to nothing that fits into the breakfast category. No cereal, no oatmeal, no granola, no yogurt, no nothing. Instead of breakfast in bed, I settle for just a glass of orange juice to give Christian when he wakes. I peek my head into the bedroom and see he's still fast asleep, so I make an impromptu trip to Kate's bedroom where she's sitting up in bed. "Good morning." I greet her with a smile and she responds with a grumbled Good morning. Her hair is all knotted up around her head and the look in her eyes tells me she's exhausted. "Orange juice?" I offer the glass I originally intended on giving Christian and she holds her hand out to take it. "Thanks." She takes a sip. "No problem." I give her a quick smile, then I head back to the kitchen to get Christian a glass of orange juice and formulate a plan to wake him up to drink it.

 

Christian doesn't even stir as I climb atop the bed and slide back into my original place beside him. I toss one leg over his middle and curl around him, my arm resting on his chest. My fingertips grace the exposed portion of his chest that isn't covered by my comforter as I hum to myself. I begin to trace my foot along his inner thigh as I move my hand up to stroke the little curls in his hair. His body responds to my touch as he begins to wake. His eyelashes flutter and as I slip my hand down his front and stop just inches from his crotch, his eyes fly open. He blinks a few times, adjusting to our new position, then a smirk appears on his face. "Well Hi there." He says. "Hi." I smile cheekily, and slide my hand down further to stroke his erection. "What are you doing?" He asks, eyeing my hand. "Waking you up." I smile up at him sweetly and snake my way down to the edge of the bed so I'm at eye level with his crotch. I lick my lips, staring up into his eyes, then I slowly take his full length into my mouth. "Ah, Ana. Slowly." I know he said slow, but the way he moaned my name makes me want to go faster. He grabs a fistful of my hair and guides me, taking control of the situation as always.

 

We've had our fill of morning sex and Christian is sipping on his glass of orange juice in the bed beside me when we come to the agreement that we're both in dire need of some breakfast. We each grab a quick shower and dress ourselves. I inform Kate that we're heading out. Then Christian and I walk out the door hand in hand and continue walking on down the street. We head up Vine street, turn right on First, and continue to go straight for a couple blocks. I know of a cafe just about a block further from where we are now. It happens to be a favorite of Kate and I's. I feel calm, serene, just holding Christians hand as we walk. I'm struck by the normalcy of the gesture. This is what normal couples do, It's what I've wanted all along, and what I thought Christian could never give me. Yet here we are, doing it. Defying all odds. "This feels so normal. It's very unlike us." Christian says, seeming in sync with my thoughts. "I know. There's not a chain or whip in sight. How odd." I joke, nudging his shoulder, and we share a laugh. "I love it. I didn't think I would but I do." He admits and I smile proudly. He's come so far, but we've still got so much work to do. Holding hands is a wonderful start, but It'll take much longer to be able to trust him again. "It's nice out. Very sunny and beautiful." I note, examining our surroundings in awe. "It is." Christian agrees with a squeeze of my hand. "What would you like to do today? After brunch I mean." He asks. "Brunch?" I giggle. "Yes. It's a little late to be calling it breakfast don't you think?" He defends his word choice, his expression amused. "I suppose you're right. I'd like to get my hair cut. It's a little long." I run a finger through the long strands, imagining it shorter. "I'll take you then. I know a place we could go." Christian offers and I smile in appreciation. "Sounds like a plan." Christian opens the cafe door for me and we step inside. We're immediately hit with the sweet smell of fresh bread and coffee brewing. "Charming isn't it?" I comment, as I catch Christian glancing around the place. "Indeed it is. You have impressive taste, Miss Steele." We eat our meal, commenting on the art decorating the walls as we do. And when the check comes around I jump to grab it before Christian can. I smile, smug, and he shakes head in disapproval. "You gotta be quick around here, Mr.Grey." I tease, with a light laugh. "How much is it?" I inspect the bill, then report the price back to Christian in answer. "Twenty-two dollars and sixty cents." I say, reading it out to him. He grumbles under his breath as I set it aside ready to be picked up. "You're sure you want to cut you hair?" He asks, switching the subject. "Yes. It's entirely too long." I complain, thinking about the unmanageable mass of hair attached to my head. It needs some professional help without a doubt. "I like it long. It suits you." I smile at his compliment. "Thanks. I grew it all by myself." He chuckles, forgetting about his anger over the check. "My parents have a charity ball this evening. I was hoping you'd accompany me." I frown at his invite to such a fancy sounding event. I don't really think I'm cutout for such a function, but I know it'd be a big let down if I didn't agree. He informs me that it's black tie as I suspected and at his parents home. Grace and Carrick are pulling out all the stops tonight. "Which charity is it for?" I wonder if I'll recognize it. "It's called Coping Together. It's a drug rehabilitation program for parents with young children." Young children like Christian once was. "Sounds like it's for a good cause." I know better than to mention Christians direct link to said cause. "So, you'll go with me?" He asks. I bite my lip, still hesitant to agree. "I don't have anything to wear." I whisper, embarrassed. I wouldn't even know how to go about attending such a prestigious event. Something of this caliber is much more up Kate's alley. She loves dressing up with all the glamorous hair and makeup typical girly girl stuff. "I have a dress for you, numerous dresses actually. You can choose one at my place." Of course, he's thought of everything. "Okay..." I exhale, nervousness bubbling up inside of me at the whole ordeal. "Kate would be much better at this than me. She loves all that stuff." I smile fondly, thinking of Kate. I've missed her during all this time I've been spending with Christian. "I'm not surprised." Christian examines my face for a pause, reading me. "You want to bring her don't you?" He asks, reading my face with ease. I bite my lip and shrug, not wanting to admit to it. I wouldn't want to impose by begging to bring Kate along, but I'm sure I'd find it much more enjoyable with her there. I hate ditching her all the time to be with Christian after she dedicated her time, heart, and soul to helping me cope after Christian and I's breakup. I don't want her to feel like I've just cast her aside now that Christian came back into my life. I know how it probably looks to her but It's not like I just lost all feelings for her because I decided to give Christian a chance to fix things between us. Love doesn't work that way. "I think you should invite her then." Christian offers, even though I never gave him a direct answer. He knows that's what I want without my having to say it. "Thank you." I thank him, a huge smile on my face. "Let's go get your haircut. We've still got time to kill." He takes my hand and leads me out of the cafe and on down the street.

We walk for about half a block and Christian stops suddenly. The building he's stopped in front of is huge and sleek looking. It's a high end beauty salon called Esclava. He opens the door for me and as we enter the building I see the interior is stark white and very roomy. The young blonde receptionist greets Christian as we enter, recognizing him instantly. She bats her eyes as him flirtatiously, but he doesn't seem to pay any attention to it. "Greta." He nods to her, politely. "The usual, sir?" She asks, cocking her head to the side. "No. Miss Steele will tell you what she'd like done today." He answers calmly, but I catch him giving me a nervous glance. This is where he's taken all his subs. I glare at him but I don't speak on the issue. "You can have whatever you want. They do everything. Massages, facials, waxing..." I grimace at the mention of waxing and he chuckles in amusement. "Just a haircut please." I announce to Greta and Christian both. "Certainly, Miss Steele. Franco will be ready for you in just a few moments." Greta says, typing at her computer keyboard. I peek up at Christian as we wait and I see he's staring intently ahead. Something has caught his eye. I turn to find what he's looking at and come into contact with a tall, tan, blonde woman. She's in her forties at least and is wearing black uniform style attire. She's stunning. She smiles warmly at Christian when she sees him and I see the clear recognition between the two. He steps past me to approach her and they greet each other with obvious affection. The Blonde leans in and kisses each of his cheeks, her hands placed on his shoulders. I watch them, an uncomfortable sense of anxiety rushing through me. Who is this woman? They're all smiles and friendliness as my discomfort turns to recognition. I know who the woman is now. Christian's face tells it all as he looks at her. It's her, his Mrs. Robinson. I think I'm going to be sick. My face drains of all color and my scalp prickles at the sight. She touches his arm again and bites her lip-my signature move. All I can do is stare in shock at the two of them together. My eyes well up with tears as I turn and run out of the building. Away from Christian and all his fuckedupness. I just can't deal with this anymore. I have to get away. I'm halfway down the street when Christian finally catches up with me. "Ana where are you going?" Christian yells, chasing after me. I stop and turn to face him. "Do you not see how fucked up that was? Why would you bring me there? To meet her?" I glare at him, fuming. "No, of course not! She wasn't supposed to be there. I would never intentionally bring you to her that way." I shake my head in disbelief at his excuse. "You brought your subs to meet her." I state, feeling betrayed in every sense of the word. "Yes, but you're not one of them." He looks apologetic, but still I can't let it go. "She's attractive." He blinks at me, probably trying to determine where I'm going with that statement. "Yes." He reluctantly agrees. "Why aren't you with her then? Surely she'd be the much easier option." He runs his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I don't want her. I want you. Now if you'll just come back to my place I can have Franco come over and cut your hair there." He tries to take my hand but I pull it away. "I don't want to go anywhere with you!" I snap. He whips out his phone and dials a number, ignoring my outburst. "Christian Grey. I want Franco at my apartment at one. Thank you." He hangs up and looks at me expectantly. "He'll be there at one. Let's go." I gape at him, wide eyed. "No! I just told you I wasn't going to do that." I'm exasperated and furious. Fuck this. I take off down the street, away from Christian, and in the direction of my apartment. "Ana!" I ignore him. I'm so angry I can't even think straight. I walk back home faster than I've ever walked before. Christian follows after me. "Ana! What the hell are you doing?" He yells from behind me, still following. "Going home to talk to Kate!" What does it look like I'm doing? Trying to spontaneously run a marathon? "Talk to Kate about what? Our fight?" He asks. "No to invite her to the stupid charity event I agreed to attend with you!" I know it's not polite of me to call a charity event stupid, after all it's for Carrick and Graces benefit that we're doing not Christians, yet I'm too angry to correct myself right now. When we get inside the apartment, I'm no longer angry, instead exhaustion has taken over my body. Christian and I take a minute to cool off, neither of us speaking. When he does break the silence the first words to come out of his mouth is a much needed apology. I sigh, knowing we've both overreacted and acted childish. "I'm sorry too, for making us run all the way here instead of just going with you." He laughs, amused by the ridiculous turnout of our situation and I feel my lips turn up into a smile as well. I can't stay mad at him, not for long, and while we'll have to discuss the issue more later if we want to move on from it, I decide to let it go for now so we can go through with our plans for the evening.


	10. Chapter 10

Ana's Pov;

Kate and I rifle through the walk-in closet while Christian is away in his study responding to emails and returning phone calls. The closet is absolutely filled to the brim with brand new clothes, shoes, and handbags. It's every woman's dream closet. Kate can't contain her excitement as she sifts through the racks and I gasp in disbelief at what we find. Past all the more casual everyday clothes there's a section of dresses all with the price tags still attached. There's long evening gowns, cocktail dresses, and a few more casual but still ostentatious options. The dress selection alone must have cost more than the contents of my bank account and that's including the check for my car that has yet to clear. "Holy Fuck." My eyes bug out of my head when I check the price tag on a silver full length evening dress. It's nearly three thousand dollars. Three thousand dollars for a dress. I think my brain is going to explode. "At least the rich fucker has good taste." Kate mutters, when I flash her the price tag. "His personal shopper does." I correct, knowing Christian assigns someone else to the job of purchasing clothes for all his subs or prospective subs. "I can't believe he bought all of this new..." She gestures at our surroundings. "For you. Without you even asking for any of it. It's insane." Oh, if she even knew the half of it. "Insane doesn't even begin to cover it. He's completely nuts." I bury my face in my hands, exasperated. I have no idea what to make of this man. "Something tells me you're not just upset by the expensive clothes." Kate points out, placing a hand on my arm. I remove my hands from my face to look at her. "The crazy ex-girlfriends don't help his case much either." There's so much madness sounding this man. Sometimes I wonder if it'll ever end. "Did something new happen with Leila?" She asks, her concern for both my safety and sanity clear in her eyes. "No, not that I know of. I met another one. Mrs. Robinson." Kate arches a brow at my nickname. "An older woman? Really?" I nod in confirmation. "Yep and she's beautiful, absolutely stunning, and clearly obsessed with him." I exhale loudly. "What am I going to do?" I groan, thinking of his Mrs. Robinson with her hands all over him. "You're going to continue being your perfect and far more beautiful than some old bitch self and if Christian doesn't think that's good enough then he'll be dealing with a serious ass kicking from me." I laugh. Kate kicking Christian's ass is a visual I'll never be able to get out of my mind. Christian appears without making a sound in the doorway. "There you are. I thought I might find you in here. How's the dress picking coming along?" He asks, glancing between Kate and I. "It's going." I respond, with a shrug. "You'll have to make your decision later if you haven't already. Franco's here." Oh right, my haircut. "Kate, Franco can do something with your hair too if you'd like." Christian very generously offers. "Thanks, I'd love that Christian." She politely accepts his offer and follows with Christian and I as we go to meet Franco. He is small, dark-haired, and very very gay. I fall in love with him at first sight. "Such beautiful hair, Anastasia. Christian tells me you want it cut?" He gushes over my hair with enthusiasm and a unauthentic sounding Italian accent."Yes, please." I smile brightly in his direction, happy with Christians choice in my hair dresser. His giddy demeanor is infectious. I follow him and Christian into the bathroom along with Kate. "I'll leave you to it." Christian mutters, quickly bringing us a chair, then exiting to give me and Franco some space to reinvent my usual hairstyle. Kate watches from the doorway as Franco combs his fingers through my long strands. "Bellissima!" He exclaims, studying my reflection in the mirror. "What shall we do with you beautiful, Anastasia?" Franco asks, making me blush at his parade of compliments. "I'd just like a small trim and then maybe put it up for the ball this evening?" I say, a little unsure of myself. Is an up-do a good idea for tonight? I believe Christian prefers it to be down and lose, when it's not braided in the red room that is. Kate smiles reassuringly in the mirror and I grin back. "Yes. I think that'll be perfect." I say, this time with much more confidence. "Excellent choice, Anastasia." Franco then begins to work his magic on my hair. When he's finished and I'm happy with the results, I exit the room to go see Christian while Kate takes her turn with Franco. When I locate Christian he's sitting on the couch working on some paper work while classical music fills the great room. He looks up at the sound of my entry and smiles. "You look lovely, Anastasia." He says, pleased with Francos work. "Thanks. You don't look too bad yourself." I tease, with a wink. "I'm gonna go get ready." I say, still lingering in the room. "Okay. I will too once I finish this up. I can't wait to see how you'll look when you're done." I could say the same for you Mr.Grey. He always looks stunning in a suit and tie.

 

As Kate is still with Franco getting her hair styled and Christian is away doing whatever it is he needs to do to get ready, I paw through drawer after drawer of new underclothes, looking for something to put under my dress. I select a black corset top piece and it's matching tiny lace panties and slip those on, along with thigh-high stockings in nude. The stockings are sleek and silky, it makes my skin tingle with pleasure as I slip them on. I'm admiring my choice of dress as Christian enters the room looking drop dead gorgeous in his black suit pants and white button down top. He stands in the doorway, staring, a sexy smoldering look in his dark eyes. I feel a blush come over my body everywhere as I stand immobilized, caught in his heated gaze. My tongue slowly traces my lower lip. It feels as though the air between us is alive with tension. Our attraction for each other is a force of it's own. The neck of his shirt is open, showing a trace of chest hair. It makes my pulse grow stronger. "Are you just going to stand there gawking, Mr. Grey or did you actually have a purpose coming in here?" I ask, suddenly finding my courage to speak. "Oh, Mrs. Steele I could gawk at you all day." He murmurs darkly, his voice filled with desire. He takes a few slow steps towards me, drinking me in from all angles. "You know it's not nice to just barge in on a woman getting dressed, especially without a warning." I scold and his eyes glisten at my choice of words. "Who said I wanted to be nice?" He leans in to kiss the crook of my neck from behind and I shudder with delight. He wants to play. He reaches down in to his pocket, not breaking eye contact with me in the full length mirror before us. He produces a pair of silver balls dangling from his fingertips and my breath stops in my throat. "I thought you might wear these tonight. For both your pleasure and mine." Wear them? To a charity event with his parents, friends, family, colleagues, and Kate. Is he out of his mind. "Oh." I'm in shock, but my inner goddess is begging to be released for one of Christians sexual games. His eyes bore into mine, dark and dangerous. "You want to spank me later?" I ask, my voice strained with shock. "No." I blink, confused and strangely disappointed. Isn't that what they're for? "Is that what you want me to do?" He asks, gauging my reaction. "I'm not sure." I state plainly, honestly. "Well, I'm not going to do that. Not tonight at least." I swallow hard, taking in his words. If he doesn't want to spank me what does he want to do with me? "Do you want to play?" He holds up the balls, tempting me. "You can take them out at any time if it gets to be too much." He assures me, his eyes never leaving mine. Oh, this is erotic. Dark and hot and mysterious. I nod and his perfect lips raise in a sexy smile. "Put your shoes on." He commands, directing his eyes to the silver red bottomed stilettos I've set out. He offers me a hand for support as I step into the shoes, feeling a tad off balance. I'm much taller with the heels on, yet Christian still seems to tower over me. Christian walks over to the only chair in the room and brings it to place in front of me. "Open your mouth." He orders, low and husky. I open my mouth wide for him and a small approving smile appears on his lips. "Good Girl. Now, suck." He slides the balls into my open mouth and I suck hard, basking in his approval. I won't need any lubricant myself. Just the look he's giving me has me soaking wet and oh so ready. He tugs the balls out of my mouth, smiling at my resistance to release them. They're good and lubricated now. "Bend down and hold the chair." I follow his orders and bend and grip the chair. He then kneels down next to me and slides my thin panties to the side and slides a finger inside me, testing to see if he'll have any trouble getting the balls in. After feeling my wetness with his fingers, he slowly pushes the balls inside. He inserts them deep and I let out a soft moan at the sensation. Once he's got them where he wants them, he slips my panties back into place and plants a long leisurely kiss to my backside. He runs his hands over my legs and hums appreciatively. "You have very fine legs, Miss Steele." He murmurs against the top of my thigh. He rises to stand and grabs my hips assertively, holding me against him so I can feel his erection. "This is what you do to me, Anastasia. Remember that." He whispers, sending chills down my spine. I want him right here, right now. "I bought these for you as well." He announces, showing me a pair of diamond drop earrings in a Cartier box. They're beautiful, classic, and simple. Perfect for me. "They're lovely. Thank you." I take the earrings from his hand and put them on. "This is the dress you're wearing?" He asks, eyeing the silver satin dress I've set out. "Yes. Is that okay?" He nods. "I approve, Miss Steele." He kisses my lips once, briefly, then he exits the room to let me put it on. I slip into the dress, feeling my insides pulsate with pleasure from the weight of the balls and the effect my movement has on them. It's arousing, distractingly so. When I look into the mirror I feel as if I've entered an alternate universe. The woman in the mirror looks like she belongs on a red carpet. The strapless full length gown was without a doubt the right choice. It's very flattering on my petite figure. It makes me look like someone who belongs with Christian for a change. I kept my makeup look minimal, not wanting to overdo it. I just went with the usual subtle eye makeup and some lightly toned lipstick. I didn't bother to use blush as I really don't need it. The silver balls have me covered in that department. Kate enters the room moments later with her hair and makeup artfully done. "You look beautiful, Kate." I admire her, taking her in. Her hair is cascading down her shoulder on one side only, pinned perfectly into place, and her makeup is far more extravagant than mine. She's wearing a deep burgundy lipstick shade and her eyelids are shimmering more than my dress. "No where near as beautiful as you." She flashes me her dazzling smile. Then steps past me to change into her dress as well. She's chosen a dark violet colored gown that's fitted tightly to her luscious curves. I swallow hard, just looking at her brings heat to my cheeks in the most delightful way. I collect my satin wrap and silver clutch, then Kate and I go off to find Christian.

 

When we get to him he's speaking with Franco and Taylor in the hallway. They both whip their heads around to look at Kate and I, alerting Christian of our presence. Christian's back to gawking, his eyes never leaving me. Taylor's eyes look as if they're about to pop right out of his head as he looks at Kate and I. Franco just looks proud. My mouth almost begins to water as I take in Christian in all his black tie glory. I'm in awe of my devastatingly handsome dark knight and somehow he feels the same towards me. He saunters towards me, then bends and kisses my hair. "You look lovely, Anastasia. So do you, Kate." He compliments us both, but I know he's only got eyes for me. "See, I told you he'd love it! My work here is done, have a wonderful night my friends." Franco gives Kate and I a quick hug, then he kisses our cheeks and turns to excuse himself. "Thank you, Franco!" I call after him, feeling obligated to thank him after the brilliant work he's done. Taylor stands awkwardly, his face a strange shade of red at the sight of Kate and I in our gowns. Christian offers us each a glass of champagne and we both take a drink a little too quickly after he hands them over. The rose colored champagne tastes light, delicious, and refreshing. "Elliot's going to lose his shit." Christian directs his statement to Kate, amused. "He doesn't have a date and here I am showing up with two. One of which he's still head over heels for."He laughs, delighted by his ability to publicly one up his brother. "I have no idea what we're going to tell people." Kate adds, looking to me. "We could always just tell everyone she's my date and that you've come alone." I smile, smugly at Christian and he narrows his eyes at me. "Kidding!" I exclaim, before he can get angry about it, and I burst into giggles at the amused expression on his face. Taylor looks like he's going to have heart attack just listening to our conversation. "You'll need these." Christian says, handing Kate and I each a velvet pouch. Inside we find masks. "It's a masked ball." He explains, showing me a plain black mask of his own. Intrigued, I slip mine on. It's silver and intricate, with cobalt blue details. I glance at Kate and our eyes meet through the masks. Her's is black like Christian's, but the design is more feminine like mine. We turn to Christian and he slips into his mask, a smirk playing on his lips. My inner goddess purrs with delight. Oh, this is going to be fun.


	11. Chapter 11

Kate's Pov;

Christian, Ana, and I sit together in the back seat as Taylor drives us to the Grey's family home. I've only been there once before with Elliot but from what I can remember it's a place very well suited for such a high class charity event such as the ball we're about to attend. I'm a bit nervous about going to the ball tonight. Sure, I can handle fancy rich people flashing their cash, auctions, raffles, dinner, and dancing, I grew up with parents of similar status to Christian's family. What's got me feeling anxious is the realization that Elliot will be there. I have no idea what his reaction to seeing me show up will be, but it can't be a good one. I tried to end things between us on good terms but there was only so much I could do to make it as smooth as possible. I still basically abandoned the guy in Barbados on our lovely romantic vacation just because he made a joke about marrying me and it freaked me out. I should've handled it better, but instead I panicked. I didn't want to be with Elliot forever as marriage would imply. I don't even know if I want to be with a man forever at all. Then I got home to Ana and my repressed feelings for her that had been gradually growing over the years suddenly became amplified. How could I even begin to explain that to Elliot? That I'm in love with my roommate/best friend who also happens to be his brothers on and off and then on again girlfriend. I couldn't. I wouldn't even know the words to say to explain myself.

When we arrive at the Grey's, there's a line of cars in front of us all heading up the driveway. We slowly, but surely inch closer, giving me a clearer view of the decor that's been arranged. The mansion has been transformed into a magical kingdom with lights and swarms of elegantly dressed humans. Taylor pulls into the driveway and a valet opens the door on Christian's side first, then mine. Ana gets out on my side and we both walk around the car to Christian's side. "Ready, ladies?" Christian asks, offering an arm to each of us. "As I'll ever be." Ana mutters, stepping up to link her arm in his. He kisses Ana's hand as he takes it, then uses his free arm to link with mine. He escorts us down a long dark green carpet and pauses for a moment halfway down to allow for our photos to be taken. Once we get to the main grounds, two servers come by with Champagne. Christian hands Ana and I a glass, then grabs his own, and we continue on our way. To my left there's a massive black and white checkered dance floor with ice sculptures at the entrance. To my right there is a stage where a string quartet plays a melody I don't recognize. We walk along the dance floor where the other guests are gathering. There's at least a hundred guests already and something tells me there's many more still to come. A young woman cheers Christian's name, then comes running towards us seemingly out of nowhere. Somehow she manages to run with ease, her massive high heeled stilettos not slowing her down one bit. She throws her arms around Christian's neck and I recognize by her demeanor it's his little sister Mia. She's dressed in a pale pink full length silk gown paired with a pink lace mask to match. She looks sensational, girly and feminine as ever in her pink gown. I can't believe she doesn't have a date on her arm. It seems impossible to me that anyone, man or woman, wouldn't be dying to escort her to a ball. "Ana, you look positively stunning!" Mia exclaims, pulling Ana in for a quick hug. "So do you, Kate! Oh, I'm so happy to see you I had no idea you'd be here!" She gushes, pulling me in for a hug as well. Mia runs off after our hug to get back to her group of friends and Christian, Ana and I continue to make our rounds, exchanging greetings with various people as we go. We stop for a moment as Christian introduces Ana and I to an older business man. He grills Ana about work briefly but is forced to stop when we're interrupted by the master of ceremonies speaking from the stage. "Ladies and gentlemen please take your seats dinner is being served!" He announces and Christian quickly leads us to our table at the center. Mia, Grace, and Carrick are already sitting when we get there, appearing in deep conversation with each other. I think I hear my name mentioned, but they stop when we sit down. "Ana, Kate, how delightful to see you two lovely ladies on this beautiful evening!" Grace greets us warmly and I return her loving smile. "Mother." Christian greets her, a little reluctantly. I don't think he likes the attention she draws to us. Grace's parents join our table next, then Elliot appears with a unknown female at his side. They say their goodbyes to each other as he takes his seat next to Mia and the girl scurries off to her own table. Clearly not each others dates. "Elliot please save the fraternizing for later. It's unbecoming to be the last one seated." Grace scolds him and I suppress a laugh. "Sorry. It's not my fault I couldn't get a date on such short notice so I had to bring my sister as my date." He glares right at me and I divert my eyes from his gaze. "Hey!" Mia swats his arm. "You didn't have to take me you get to take me!" Mia corrects him, making everyone at the table share a laugh. Servers arrive by the dozen to pass around plates of food for all the guests. The salmon they've given us looks delicious and I take a bite eagerly, not minding that it's still a little hot. "Hungry?" Christian murmurs to Ana and she blushes beneath her mask. It's clear by his voice he was not referring to the food. "Very." She whispers back, boldly, and I turn slightly to see Christians reaction. He inhales, lips parted, surprised by her bold response and I smirk in Ana's direction, proud of her growing confidence. "Ana, will you pretty please help in the auction?" Mia asks, giving Ana puppy dog eyes. "Sure." Ana responds, willingly, with a sweet smile in Mia's direction. Over dinner Christian and I remain attentive to Ana only, not really partaking in the group discussion. He runs his fingertips along her jawline, whispering something only she can hear in her ear. My hand strokes her thigh under the table rhythmically, then I skim my fingers in the in between space just over her sex through the dress. I move my fingers slow, caressing her, teasing her, as Christian plants soft kisses along her neck when no one's looking. It's a team effort between the two of us, and Ana can barely sit still. With Christian and I's sensual torture it won't be long before she combusts right here at the table. "I need to go!" Ana jumps out of her seat, causing everyone at the table to look her way. "Sorry. Excuse me." She apologies for her outburst and steps away from the table, heading towards the bathrooms. "I've got this." I say, getting up to follow her before Christian can even offer to assist her. His jaw tenses with irritation, but he remains quiet, resigned, as I follow behind her to the restrooms.

She locks herself in a stall and I stand guard outside it, wondering what exactly is taking her so long. "Ana, are you doing okay in there?" I ask, a little concerned. Surely we didn't get her so hot and bothered that she'd take it upon herself to deal with the rising tension in a public bathroom of all places. "No, ugh, just give me a minute!" She growls, frustrated. "Shit." She mutters. "I did not think this through." I frown, wondering what the hell she's referring to. "Ana, I'm coming in." I announce, opening up the stall door and coming on in. "I don't have anywhere to put this." She laughs, halfway in hysterics, while holding up a set of silver balls. "Whoa what are those?" I ask, genuinely curious. "They're Christians." She says, as if that's enough of an explanation for why she's holding such an object in her hands with no way of getting them back to Christian. "And those were, um... inside of you?" She nods in confirmation, blushing bright red. "Of course they were." Stupid sick fucker did not think his kinky little game through did he? "Give them here." She extends her hand to me and I take the silver balls from her and tuck them safely away in between my own breasts. The girls are doubling as a purse for now it would seem and thankfully I have enough of them to hide things well in there. It's their starring act. No one will ever know the difference. "Thank you." Ana mumbles, grateful for my help. "No problem, baby. Let's get you back to the table." I escort her back to the table, fuming at Christian for the situation he's now put me in with his very public kinky fuckery. We take our seats back at the table, this time without drawing any attention our way, and I lean over the back of Ana's seat towards Christian. "Christian, I have one of your twisted kinky sex toys lodged between my breasts right now and I'm going to need you to come with me to the bathroom to remove them immediately." I state calmly, my voice a low whisper. His eyes bug out slightly as he turns to me and I give him a look to convey that I mean business. He nods curtly and discreetly walks me to the bathroom to handle the situation. One of Taylor's security guys blocks the doors as we enter the bathroom, making sure no one else will come in until we're done. Christian has the good manners to look apologetic as I reach in between my boobs and produce a pair of silver balls. "I believe these belong to you." I hold them out to him and he takes them and quickly shoves them into his pocket. "Sorry about that." He mutters and I roll my eyes at him. "Whatever, let's go." I start to leave but he grabs my arm to stop me. "Kate, wait." He holds me still for a moment, much too close for comfort, as he carefully prepositions a strand of hair that's been misplaced and secures it with a pin. I stare up at him as he does, startled by his closeness. I don't think Christian and I have ever been this close for more than a fraction of a second before. It's strange, but oddly comfortable. "There. Now we can go." He announces without a trace of emotion, taking my arm and leading me back to our table with a sense of finality.

 

By the time our silver balls fiasco has passed the first round of bidding is over and Ana is being dragged up for the first dance auction. Mia takes Ana's hand and leads her up to the stage where there's a gathering of young women taking place, all taking part in the auction. Ana and Mia are all giggly and jumpy together, ignoring the MC's booming voice and instead engaging in an entirely different conversation of their own. The bidders are invited to the stage area and Christian is the first to jump up to get up there. I follow closely behind him along with a group of men I don't recognize. Ana looks horrified as the group of men assess the women on stage, deciding on who they'd like to bid on. The MC introduces each woman, telling a lost list of talents and attributes they obviously don't really have. It's amusing and I find myself giggling as I watch from over Christian's shoulder. After he's gone down the line and introduced all the women expect for Ana, he turns the attention on our beautiful and very blushy Ana. She glances nervously at Mia, then walks to the center of the stage. She thankfully gets there without falling and stands on display for everyone to take a good look at. Her eyes stay focused on Christian and I as the MC gives a made up description for her as well, just as creative as the girls before her. Before he can even finish Christian is already hollering out his bid of ten thousand dollars. "Fifteen!" I announce my bid, looking him dead in the eyes. I know he'll never let me win, but I still enjoy the opportunity to challenge him. "Twenty!" A man calls out from our left and Christian and I both glare daggers at him. "Twenty-five!" Christian bids again, this time even higher than before. Ana looks like she's about to faint. "Thirty!" I yell and Christian shoots me an amused smirk. The other guy stops with his original bid, leaving Christian and I to battle it out. We keep it going, increasing the bid by five thousand each time. I keep going until Christian announces his bid of fifty thousand and finally I let him have it. "Fifty thousand, going once, twice, sold!" The MC screeches, triumphantly. There's a deafening round of applause and cheers as Christian takes Ana's hand and helps her off the stage. "You two are ridiculous." She scoffs, rolling her eyes at the two of us, as everyone begins to head out onto the dance floor. Somehow, I loose sight of Christian and Ana, but end up instead being grabbed up by Elliot. He takes my hand forcefully and I stifle a groan. He's the last person I want to be dancing with right now, but it appears Mia has already found someone new to be her date so I can't just toss him off on her. He leads me onto the dance floor and wraps his arms around my waist. "I just want to talk. I figured this would be the only time I'd get you alone tonight." I purse my lips, but place my hands on his shoulders as the first dance begins. I look around at all the couples, seeing Mia and a man I don't recognize, Grace and Carrick, and Christian and Ana, spinning around in others arms. "What do you want to talk about so badly that you have to be physically holding me captive to do it?" I ask, staring coolly into Elliot's eyes. "Why are you here, Kate?" He asks, not even making eye contact as he does. "For a charity function." I respond with a shrug, knowing that's not the answer he was looking for but not caring enough to give him a real one. "That's not what I meant. Why are you here with my brother? Seriously Kate, my brother, of all people. Are you trying to be his date tonight too? Is this some sort of scheme to get under my skin?" He keeps his voice low so others can't hear, but I can tell he's pissed. "No. Ana's my date." I state, appalled by his assumptions. Does he really think so low of me to think I'd come here with is brother just to rub it in his face? He pauses for a moment, no longer moving to give me an annoyed look. "You know that's not the same thing. She's your best friend. If it's not Christian then who is your date? Because it sure looks like it's none other than my very own brother. I saw you two go into the bathroom together. Did you really think I wouldn't notice that. I mean come on, Kate. What the hell was that? Were you in there fucking my brother?" I don't miss the accusatory tone in his voice as we sway in each others arms. "Is that why you're here? Because you two are fucking probably behind Ana's back. I can't believe him. One date wasn't enough so he just had to bring two. I can't wait to get my hands on that fucker." I grimace at his sickening accusation that I'd come here to sleep with Christian and to top it all off do it behind Ana's back. "Fuck off, Elliot. I told you I came here with Ana, for Ana, and only for Ana. I'm sorry if that's hard to get through your thick skull." He stares at me for a moment, brows furrowed, and I think he's finally starting to get it. "What do you mean?" He asks as the song is coming to it's end. I just shake my head at him. "I have to go." I wrestle myself from his grasp and take off into the bathroom only to lock myself in a stall until I can regain my composure.

 

Once I think I've gotten my emotions in check I go off to search for Ana, but she's nowhere around. She must have snuck off with Christian somewhere. I circle back to the restrooms where Taylor and his other security guys are standing looking rather alarmed. I'm about to ask them what's going on when I catch sight of Ana exiting the bathroom. She looks upset, more than upset, she's clearly angry about something. "Ana, what's going on?" I have to jog to catch up with her as she makes her way over to where Christian is standing alone. "Stupid bitch troll." Is all she mutters in response, leaving me completely confused. She strides past Christian, saying nothing, and I follow along her side. "Ana, What's wrong?" He calls after her and she stops to let him catch up. "We're leaving now!" She demands, looking on the verge of tears. He doesn't argue, and as we go to say our goodbyes to his parents, Ana explains to him what's got her so angry. It's his Mrs. Robinson. The one she was upset about earlier. Apparently she's made a repeat appearance. This time to threaten her. I want to find the bitch and confront her, but I couldn't identify her if I tried. So, instead I just follow Ana's lead as we say goodbye to Carrick and Grace and briskly leave the ball without another word about it.


	12. Chapter 12

Christian's Pov;

Ana stares out the window as we drive off, leaving my parents house. She sits with her whole body positioned away from me, still seething from Elena's intervention in our relationship. I wish I knew what I could do to make it up to her, but I'm at a loss for options. I already called Elena and gave her a very serious talking to about meddling in my personal life with Ana. I'm not sure what more I can do other than to just give her some time to cool off. We arrive at my apartment and I offer my hand to Ana to help her out of the car. She takes my hand and clambers out of the vehicle. Kate does the same on the other side. I push the button on the elevator to head up, but when it opens Taylor motions for us to stop where we are. The three of us come to stand still as he grumbles something too low to hear into the phone. Sawyer, one our new security guys is on the other end and by the look on Taylor's face he's not receiving good news. He hangs up the phone and turns to face us, his expression one of stress. "Mr.Grey, Ms.Steele's Audi's tires have been slashed, all four, and there's white paint thrown all over it. It appears to be some kind of vandalism. We can't confirm who the perpetrator is at this time." He recites the damages and Ana's face looses all color. She's terrified at this clear display of animosity towards her. This has to be Leila. There's no way Elena would do something so low down and childish. She's overbearing, but not mentally unstable like Leila has proven herself to be. Ana glances up at me wide eyed, then glances to Kate who looks equally frightened. "I'm concerned the perpetrator could possible still be in the apartment if they've managed to gain entry." I don't think it possible for Leila to have broken in, but just in case we should make sure the apartment is all clear before Ana and Kate go in. "Okay, do a quick security sweep and we'll go in after." Taylor nods at my order and he enters the apartment with backup security trailing him. They do a full sweep while I stay with the girls by the elevator. When they return we're given an all clear, so we enter the elevator and go on up. The apartment is quiet, no signs of anything having happened anywhere inside. "Why don't you two change out of your dresses while I make a call to Welch and his crew?" I suggest, giving Ana and Kate a reason to leave me alone for a while. I don't like having them listen in on my calls, it only worries them.

 

In the bedroom Kate and Ana are standing at the foot of my bed. They turn when I walk in, but I don't say anything. I have a seat on the bed while Kate sweeps Ana's hair to one side and unzips her dress. She pulls the slinky material down Ana's shoulders and let's it pool at her feet. Ana stands still, dressed now only in the expensive lingerie she chose to wear under her dress, as Kate's hands rest on her naked shoulders. I watch silently as Kate dips her head down and presses a swift kiss at the crook of Ana's neck. Ana shivers slightly at the sensation and turns her body to face Kate. Kate takes Ana's hand and gives it a loving squeeze. "I"m gonna go to the other bedroom. I'll see you later try to get some rest, please." Ana nods, committing to Kate's request for her to try to get some sleep as well. After a night like tonight we all need some sleep. When Kate's gone, Ana turns to me, her expression difficult to read in the darkened bedroom. She slips out of her corset top piece and leaves only her semi-sheer panties on. The moonlight casts a lovely glow on her bare breasts as she retrieves a plain white t-shirt from my drawers and slides it on over her head. She then joins me in the bed and curls up to me. "Are you going to call the police about the vandalism on my car?" She wonders aloud, her lips mushing into a pout. "No. I don't want Leila in any more trouble than she already is in. She needs help and she's not going to get it locked in a jail cell." I don't want to ruin her future by getting her arrested. I just need to track her down so I can get her the help she needs. "We'll just have to double our efforts until we find her" I lean down and plant a kiss on her forehead, right on the little 'v' that forms there. "Go to bed, baby. You need sleep." With a deep sigh, she closes her eyes and rests her head on my chest. So much has happened today. It's a lot to process. Maybe a good nights sleep will help all of us to cope.

Ana's jolts awake beside me and she looks around the room, disoriented. I'm not sure how long we were asleep but it certainly wasn't long enough. My body is on the verge of loosing consciousness when she bolts up right with a gasp. "What?" I sit up as well, sensing her panic, but I see nothing to be alarmed by. "There was a women standing at the foot of the bed just now." She exclaims, sending chills down my spine. "Kate?' I ask, but she shakes her head. "The balcony door's open." I note, hoping out of bed with alarm. All the blood leaves my face as my mouth drops open. "Fuck!" I know exactly who it was. Leila is still here. I lunge at my phone, dial, and get Taylor on the other line. "Leila's been in here." Taylor arrives within seconds, ready for action with one of the other security guys at his side. I tell them exactly what Ana saw and they rush over to inspect the open balcony door with me. "We have to get out of here, now. Gail isn't to return until we have the place secured. I need you to book us somewhere now." I snap and Taylor nods. "Sir." He gets right on it, while the other security guy does a second sweep of the place. "Get dressed." I toss some sweatpants in Ana's direction. Then I dress myself in a pair of jeans and a blazer. "Go get Kate." I order and Ana jumps up to go get Kate from the other bedroom. We meet up in the foyer and I hold a duffel bag at my side packed with the essentials we'll need. Taylor pulls out a wallet from his jacket and hands me his credit card. "Use this when you get there." I nod. "Good thinking, Taylor. Did you find anything?" I ask referring to the apartment search. "No, sir. No sign of her. We'll keep our eyes out though until we can track her down." He assures me, once again reminding me of why I've had him work for me this long. He's good at his job, really good. I have full faith in him and the rest of the team. Sawyer accompanies Kate, Ana, and I to the garage and we load the duffel bag into the trunk and climb back into the back seat. It's nearly three in the morning and the streets are near deserted. The lack of traffic will get us to our destination faster, but it sure is eerie to witness. Ana's Audi is a complete disaster and she's been put in dangers way once again because of me. It's my job to make her safe again and I'm determined to do it. "We'll get you a replacement on Monday for the car." I hope that'll bring her some peace of mind, even though I know the car is one of her lesser concerns. "Thank you." Ana takes my hand in the car, no longer angry with me like before. All her anger has been replaced with anxiety for our safety. Everything else is on the back burner for the time being. The Fairmont Olympic Hotel is huge, decorated with stone fountains out front. It must be at least five stars. A valet greets us at the entry, a little shocked at arrival of new guests at such an hour, and he takes our luggage in ahead of us as we follow along to the front desk. I tell the women working the desk that we have a suite booked under the name of Taylor and she nods, clicking away at her computer. She gives us a key and we board the elevator to get to our room on the third floor. Our suite is massive, with a bedroom, dining room, and even equipped with a grand piano in the main room. "I don't know about the two of you, but I'd really like a drink. I mutter, as I lock the door behind us. "A drink would be nice." Kate says, taking a seat next to our bag on the enormous four-poster bed. "Me too, please." Ana chimes in, plopping down next to Kate. The fire is burning brightly as I pour three glasses of Armagnac. I join the girls on the bed and pass the drinks to the two of them. We all sip at our drinks as we stare into the fire, all feeling a little sleep deprived and stressed to the max. "How long are we going to stay here?" Ana asks, curiously. "Just the night I'd assume. It should be safe to go back by morning." I answer calmly, as confident as I can manage even though I'm not entirely sure myself. I want to avoid adding any unnecessary worry to her already racing mind. She's so incredibly strong. It surprises me at every turn. I'm in awe of her. It's how I know I can trust her that she won't just run away when things get rough. She'll keep trying until she's all out of options. She won't give up on me, on us. She loves me. There's no other explanation for why she's sitting beside me tonight instead of running for the hills. I love her too that's why I intend to do everything in my power to protect her. I won't lose her again. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt her or if someone else hurt her because of me. I'd never be able to forgive myself. I take a long swig of my drink, downing the remnants in one quick gulp. Then I hop up to place the empty glass on the counter top. I turn and look at Ana, then at Kate. We'll have to share the bed. The thought makes me nervous. "What?" Ana asks, catching on to my sudden change of mood. "Kate, do you toss and turn a lot in your sleep?" I look to Kate for her answer, but before she says anything Ana beats her to it. "Are you kidding? Kate sleeps like the dead." Ana giggles and Kate rolls her eyes at Ana. Oh, thank god. She won't accidentally touch me in her sleep then. "Are you two ready to go to bed?" They both nod and I take their empty glasses from them and set the glasses on the counter with mine. Ana lifts the covers and slides into the middle of the bed while Kate takes the left edge. I climb into bed along with them, on the right side of Ana. Ready for our second attempt at sleep for the night. With a deep sigh, Ana turns my direction, pressing her backside to Kate's middle. Kate encases Ana in her arms, holding her tightly, her head resting on Ana's shoulder, eye's closed. Ana smiles her warm loving smile at me as she reaches out for my hand and holds it beneath the covers. Her blue eyes meet my grey's, giving me a reassuring look. Everything is going to be okay. We'll get through this, together. We drift to sleep in moments, leaving our troubles of the day behind.


	13. Chapter 13

Ana's Pov;

Christian is the first thing I see, already awake and fully dressed, when my eyes flutter open. I sit up and blink a few times to clear my head, taking a look around the room. We're in the hotel still. "Hi." Christian greats me warmly, when he notices I've been woken up. "Hi." I smile sleepily, holding the covers up around me to stay warm. "How long have you been awake?" I ask, eyeing his fully clothed body and clear alertness in his eyes. "Only about an hour. I went for a run then came back and you were awake." Oh, he's been awake for an hour while Kate and I have been passed out in bed. That's surprising. I would've thought the sound of him leaving would've woken at least one of us. But after the night we had, I suppose the sleep was needed. "Did you sleep well?" He inquires, bending down to kiss me softly. "Yes, this hotel bed is surprisingly comfortable." He smiles broadly. "Glad to hear it. We've all needed a good night's sleep." Apparently some of us more than others since he's already gotten up and gone out for a run. "What time is?" I ask. "Ten til eleven." He answers smoothly without even a glance at the clock. No wonder it's so light outside, we've slept in late. There's a rather loud snore from Kate and Christian and I both turn to look at her. "I've had to listen to her making that awful sound since I got up. She snores quite loudly." Christian notes, both of us still watching Kate. "I know." I've slept in the same house at her for years and most recently the same bed as her. It never ceases to annoy me. She does it again and I scrunch my nose up in distaste. "Should we wake her?" I glance up at Christian. "Might as well. She can't stay in bed forever." With Christian in agreement, I lean in over her body as she sleeps and gently begin to tug the covers down off of her. She doesn't move, doesn't even stir. "Kate." I shake her and her eyes pop open. "Ana?" She sits up appearing alarmed. "What's going on? Why were you shaking me?" I'm about to respond, but Christian speaks before I get the chance. "Breakfast is here. It's pancakes and bacon for you wenches." Christian reaches over and swats me hard on my backside, making me jump and then giggle. I rise from the bed to get myself some of the breakfast Christian ordered for us from room service, but Kate isn't as quick to move as me. I turn my head to the side and look back at her only to see she's stilled in her place, lips slightly parted in a mingle of shock and confusion. Christian emits an amused chuckle, following my gaze. "That means you too, Ms. Kavanaugh." Christian gestures for her to get up and she reluctantly eases herself out of the bed. "Domineering control freak." Kate mutters under her breath, as she helps herself to a plateful of bacon and pancakes. "What was that?" Christian asks, though it's clear he's already heard her. "Oh, nothing." She shrugs, acting nonchalant, and proceeds to bite into a piece of pancake. As I move to get my breakfast I'm aware of a dull ache in my limbs that gets stronger with my every move. Even a good nights sleep can't erase all the dancing, sex, and hobbling around in absurdly high heeled shoes I've done here lately. It's a miracle I can even stand up properly at all at this point. I take a seat with my plate of pancakes and bacon both smothered in syrup and begin to eat. Christian sips his coffee as he reads the paper, having already eaten before I even got up. I stare at him for a moment, forgetting everything else. I could admire his lovely face all day. He's a Greek god among mortals, yet somehow it seems that he belongs. Like he's part of the decor filling our expensive suite, perfect and tempting. He smiles when he catches me staring. "Eat, Anastasia. You're going to need your strength for later." He says, eyeing me in a mockingly stern way. "What for? Are you planning to have me locked up in the bedroom all day?" I ask, a small teasing smile on my lips. Part of me is hopeful he is. It's been a while for us since I don't really count the quickie in his childhood bedroom at the masquerade ball as much. My inner goddess licks her lips in fond memory of the occasion. Maybe it should count for something after all. It was short lived, but certainly worth the sneaking around. "Oh, no. Appealing as that sounds, I've got other plans for us." He shuts down my hope at the prospect of being chained up in bed with him all day and brings a new curiosity bubbling to the surface. What does fifty have planned for us today? Am I going to meet a new crazy ex? Maybe one who would prefer to vandalize my apartment next? The thought of having another ex to deal with is both comical and a little frightening. "Eat." He insists, breaking me out of my own thoughts. I roll my eyes at him out of habit and he raises a brow, ready to jump into action if I make another move to disobey his wishes. "Eating, now." I call out my action as I begin it and dig into the impressive breakfast before me.

 

When breakfast has been eaten by both Kate and myself, the dishes are taken back by room service and I ruffle through my bag to get ready for the day. I take the outfit that was packed inside for me and begin to head in the direction of the bathroom. "I"m going to jump in the shower real quick." I announce to my two companions in the room. Christian nods, only slightly paying attention as he studies something on his phone. An email, maybe? The man never stops working. "I think I'll join you." Kate says, jumping up to follow me into the bathroom. That gets Christians attention. I swear his head whips up so fast I'm afraid he'll give himself whiplash. I bite down on my lower lip as Kate slips past me into the bathroom and I stay frozen in the doorway. "Is that okay with you?" I ask, softly, wanting to be sensitive of his feelings. After a pause he answers, his face expressionless, giving nothing away. "Go ahead, I've already taken a shower after my run." I hesitate in the doorway for another second. Then I walk over to him and lean in to plant a kiss just along the edge of his jaw. "I'll see you when I get out." I say, trying not to blush like a schoolgirl. Then I scamper off and hop into the already running shower with Kate inside. "Took you long enough." She mumbles, massaging shampoo onto her scalp and through her long golden blonde hair. "I just had to talk to Christian for a second." I explain, reaching past her to retrieve a small bottle of hotel shampoo. "Asking for permission?" She snorts. "Not exactly." I rub a small amount of shampoo between my hands, then bring it up to put on my hair. "You know, you've never once asked my permission before hopping on Christians dick. How does that seem fair to you?" I turn and rinse my hair, facing her. "He was with me first." I say, suddenly feeling like a petulant teenager. "So I just have no say in any of this?" Kate asks, making me flush. I didn't mean it like that. "Christian just comes around and you forget all about what we had?" I look up into her enchanting green eyes that are now filled with pain, pain caused by me. It breaks my heart to see her like this. It was never my intention to push her to the side now that Christian is back in my life but with all the drama and baggage that comes along with Christians company I've been distracted. Maybe I inadvertently have been neglecting Kate in my pursuit of understanding Christian's tortured past. Maybe I had stopped paying attention to the wonderful woman standing before me in the present. "I didn't forget about what we have." I say, meeting her glistening eyes of green with my pale blues. I slip one hand around her neck, having to stand on my tiptoes to be at equal height with her. Then I lean in and kiss her softly, water from the shower dripping off my lips and onto hers. She kisses me back with such a rush of passion it pushes any reminder of Christian in the next room out of my head. There's nothing in the world but her and I and the water cascading over us. She reaches down and grips each of my thighs with her two hands and hoists me up so I no longer have to be on my tiptoes to reach her. My hands knot into her soaking wet blonde locks, holding her face in the right position as we make out underneath the shower head. It's hot and rough and messy and very very wet. Her grip on my thighs weakens and her hands slip just slightly, but it's enough to cause me to break the kiss out of fear she might drop me. "Sorry. It's a little slippery in here." She states with a breathy giggle, then moving to hold me up against the opposing shower wall. "Better?" I bite my lip and nod, excitedly. There's no chance she's gonna drop me now. With no more reason to stop we start our make out session over, first soft, but growing in aggression with time. Her hands are busied up with holding me, but mine are free to roam. I take full advantage of my opportunity, feeling up every inch of her silken skin, now burning beneath my touch. I moan into her mouth as she parts my legs and our cores rub against each other between them. Desire flows through my veins as the tension between my thighs builds and builds with every time she rubs against me. "Oh!" A mixed cry of pure pleasure and shock escapes me. "Fuck, Kate!" I pant her name, barely able to form the word, as I lean my head back against the shower wall and am overcome with unrelenting pleasure.

 

All my senses steadily return as I become aware that the shower has run cold. Kate sets me down on my own two feet and exits the shower with me, both of us grinning from ear to ear. We dry off and dress quickly, suddenly remembering that Christian is in the other room waiting on us. Once again, I wonder what his plans for us are today. Whatever it is, he seems particularly excited to get to it. I don't want to make him wait any longer. I rush out of the bathroom only to see Christian is no longer sitting on his phone and has now packed all our things and waiting patiently by the bed. "Hey, ready to go?" He asks, his eyes shifting between the two of us. "Yep." I say and Kate nods in agreement. Christian takes my hand and walks us out to the car, holding our bag in his free hand. Kate has to get home to get the apartment ready for her brother Ethan to stay over, so we drop her off at home on the way to wherever Christian is taking me. Our next stop is a car dealership, but when I ask he tells me it's not the surprise, just another stop. He lets me pick a car, suddenly having changed his mind about having me drive the submissive special he originally had gifted me. Our final stop is a parking lot across from the waterfront where hundreds of boats of all kinds bob up and down in the still water.


	14. Chapter 14

Christian's Pov;

Ana and I walk towards the marina, holding hands as we do. There's people as far as the eye can see enjoying the pleasant weather and the assortment of boats out on the water. I lead her in the direction of my boat, down the dock and to the right. I stop in front of my boat and point it out to Ana. "This one is mine." I tell her, proudly. She admires it in amazement, probably having never seen a boat of this size and elegance. "I thought today would be a nice day for sailing. Come aboard." Ana smiles broadly as I firmly grasp her hand and help her aboard. I'm elated to have the chance to show her another one of my toys. Through the sliding doors is Mac and we greet him as we enter the interior section of the cabin. I shake Mac's hand and then step aside to introduce him to Ana. He smiles warmly at her and shakes her hand. He shakes her hand for a second too long, but I try not to dwell on it as I sweep Ana away for a quick tour. We see the kitchen, main room, bathrooms, and the king sized bedroom. She's the first unrelated women I've brought onto the boat. Another first for us. I take her back to the upper deck and strap her into a puffy life jacket. Safe and tightly secured in her life jacket, I allow her to accompany me in driving the boat. When I've gotten a good cruising speed going, I switch places with Ana and let her take the wheel. I stand behind her, holding her steady as she steers. It's an exhilarating experience for the both of us. We sail for about an hour, then we anchor. 

 

Mac has gone out on his own. Alone at last, I take Ana into the bedroom and remove her life jacket. I toss it to the side, take her face in my hands, and tilt it upwards so she has no choice but to look directly into my eyes. I unbutton her blouse slowly, not breaking eye contact, then I pull it down her arms and toss it aside. I want to see her, all of her. I can't wait another second. I bend swiftly and plant a light kiss on her open lips. She's panting and her eyes are wide and eager. I don't waste any time in removing the rest of her clothes and mine. I order her to sit at the center of the bed and she does, following my lead. I get on my knees on the bed between her legs and hold one leg in each hand as I spread them apart to give me more room. I hear her sharp intake of breath as I press my lips against her center. I get her near orgasm with my mouth, then stop to switch positions. I tear open a condom, roll it on, and mount her. Her hands paw at my spine as I move inside her, begging to get close myself. I say her name and she pulsates around me. "Christian!" She calls my name loud and clear, then moans, as we come.

 

We lay together in silence for a moment, just soaking in these final moments of bliss before we must return to reality. Ana turns her body towards me and looks up at me with a beaming smile. "Thank you." She murmurs, appreciatively. "For?" I ask. "Showing me the boat, letting me drive it, bringing me here. You do so many sweet things for me, The list goes on and on." She says, her eyes shining with a loving glow. It's hard for me to understand how she could possibly look at me that way, knowing all the bad inside me, yet still she does. "No need for thanks, Ana. I like doing those things for you." All my firsts with her and all the more to come bring out feelings in me I've never experienced. I love sharing my life with her. If I could I'd do it for the rest of my life without hesitation. I'd marry her, If she'd let me. I didn't realize it before but now that she's reentered my life I've come to realize that with her love is no longer a foreign emotion for me. It comes naturally, as it should. "These past few days have been some of the best of my life." She says. "They've been the best of my life too, baby." I smile, thinking about all the progress that we've made. We've come so far since she left me. "Even though things aren't the way you wanted?" She asks and my brows furrow in confusion. "What makes you think this isn't what I want?" I've done everything I can think to make her understand that she's more important to me than anything else this world has to offer. How many other ways can I show her she's enough, just as she is? "Well, It's not that I don't believe this is what you want for right now, but I just don't know how long this can last." She looks saddened by the thought and I want to kiss her pain away. "I've told you how I feel about you. What more can I do to make you see that I want you and only you. That feeling isn't going to go away just because we have some obstacles still left to overcome." I try to reassure her, but she doesn't seem convinced. "That's the thing, you're already doing so much. It's not fair. You're making all these changes for me. Putting my feelings and wants and needs above your own. I should be doing those things for you too. It shouldn't feel so one-sided." I listen to her words and try to imagine the feeling behind them. First it was one-sided when I expected her to take on the role of my submissive against her own wishes. Now it's one-sided when I'm trying to make up for that by allowing her to have everything she wants in the relationship and ignoring my own urges. Why are we so lopsided? Why can't we have balance? Perhaps we should go to see Dr.Flynn together, maybe he can help sort out this ongoing power struggle between us. "I should be reciprocating in some way. I should- I don't know- maybe let you step outside the confines of a vanilla relationship and chain me up and whip me every forth Saturday." I laugh at her ridiculous suggestion. "Ana, that's not necessary. Trust me. I'd tell you if I had the unbearable urge to chain you up and whip you rising up inside me. You do plenty for me already, just by being with me. I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything you don't want to do just to keep me around. We've only been doing things your way for one weekend. It takes time to figure everything out in a relationship, especially one as tricky as ours. I talked with Flynn a lot about this and he agrees it's good for me to have to learn compromise and to put someone else's feelings above my own for a change. We need to keep things light and easy between us while we gain each others trust back. It'll be a long way down the road before you need to worry about doing anything else to accommodate me. I know it's not easy dealing with me, but I wan't to try to make it at least a little bit easier when I can. You deserve to be happy and fulfilled just as much as I do." I offer her a reassuring smile, but the guilty look on her face doesn't leave. "Earlier when Kate and I showered together something other than just showering happened." She hesitantly informs me and I chuckle at her naivety. "I know that. I'm not stupid, Ana." I try to contain myself, but I can't hide my amusement. "Plus the walls aren't very thick in the suite we were staying in." I add and she blushes crimson. "Right. Well, I thought I should tell you anyways, instead of leaving it to be implied." She fidgets with her fingers, looking down at them instead of up at me. "I felt like I may have hurt your feelings by leaving you like that to go be with her and I wanted to apologize for that." She says, her eyes darting up to mine, then back down. "My feelings are fine, baby." I say, stroking her hair in a comforting gesture. "Are you sure?" She asks, eyeing me doubtfully. "I promise." Her lips turn up in a small smile at my words and I'm pleased to see she looks less unnerved now. "So, what exactly did you do in the shower then since you say it wasn't just showering?" I ask, curious to hear her take on what went down. "uh, well...We had sex sorta. There was a lot of water and kissing and honestly a little bit of slipping." She giggles at the last part. "Sorta?" How does one 'sorta' have sex, I wonder? "Yeah, um...there was rubbing, you know friction, and then I uh, had an orgasm." She mumbles, looking down again. "Really? She made you come just by rubbing against you in the shower?" I have to push the mental picture gnawing at my cock away for a second to actually think of the mechanics. Ana nods, peeking up at me through long lashes. "I've got to step my game up then." I joke, making Ana burst into a fit of giggles.

 

The sun is disappearing into darkness as we exit the marina and get back into the car. After a perfect afternoon, it only seems right to end it with a perfect dinner. We go to a small Italian bistro and are seated in a booth by the window. We make light conversation as we look over the menus. We take our time with our meal, enjoying each others company in the isolated section of the restaurant. We chatter on about happier things, both of us more at ease after our talk back on the boat. Then, when we're done I take her home to her apartment with Kate upon her wishes so she can continue her weekday routine in her own space and I arrange for her to have security with her when she returns to work tomorrow to ensure she'll be safe from Leila until I get a hold on that particular chapter of my past.


	15. Chapter 15

Kate's Pov;

Christian drops me off at the apartment and leaves with Ana in an unnecessary hurry. I know he doesn't like me, doesn't like anyone who can be a threat to his relationship with Ana, but does he have to be so obvious about it? He could at least give Ana and I a few minutes to say goodbye before he whisks her away for whatever over the top day full of activities he's got planned for her. I sigh as I unlock and open the apartment door, then step into the main room swept up by a painful wave of loneliness and deep insecurity. Whatever they're off doing probably costs at least a million dollars and involves an extensive collection of chains and whips. How could I ever compete with that? I wander around the apartment, waiting for an idea to come to me for something to get my mind off Ana. I can't take the picture of her locked up in Mr. Millionaires sex dungeon rattling around in my brain any longer. I've still got an hour before Ethan is supposed to arrive. So, I take the first half of that hour to clean up around the apartment, then use the second half to make sure there's room to store Ethan's things in the living room and a bed made up on the couch for him. I could give him Ana's room to sleep in, but I'm not sure that she'll be using my room tonight. She might want hers back if she even comes home tonight. She usually wants her distance from me after spending time with him. That's the way it was for the entire duration of their first go at a relationship. She wanted me to stay away so she could make irrational decisions to please him and cry alone in her room for hours. I suppose if that's what she wants this time around as well I should give it to her. It's not my business anyways, or at least she thinks it's not. I hold a very different opinion.

 

Ethan arrives with just a few minutes to spare and I nearly drag him through the doors, eager to see him. I've missed my brother and he's the most welcome distraction from my growing list of worries about Ana. "Ethan! I've missed you so much!" I wrap my arms around him in a bone crushing bear hug as soon as we get through the doorway. "I've missed you too, Katie." I punch his arm, angered by the use of my unwanted nickname. "I hate being called that and you know it!" I end the hug by shoving him off me and he chuckles. My weak attempt at a shove has hardly any effect on him. I'm strong, stronger than most women I know, but my brother has to be a least twice my size and strength. "Thanks for the couch bed." He sits down on the made up couch and holds up the fuzzy pink pillow I set out for him. "Nice touch." I laugh, moving to sit beside him. "Sorry. I would steal one of Ana's but she might need them tonight." I try to keep the upset out of my voice when I say it, but even I can tell I sound weird. "Might? Doesn't she like basically live in that bedroom of hers?" I shrug. "She's out with her boyfriend tonight. She might stay with him. I'm not sure." Ethan gives me a surprised look. "Wait, she's still with that guy?" I nod. I don't bother adding in that they did break up sort of, for a little while, because that's too much to just add in and I still don't quite know what to say about it. I can't exactly just spill all the gory details for him, not when Ana specifically asked me to keep their breakup between us. "I didn't realize that was a serious thing." He looks disappointed now, and I feel his pain. I'm not the only one who has pent up feelings for a certain blue-eyed beauty in this apartment. Although for the record I'm pretty sure Ethan just wanted to have sex with her, he tends to do that with most of my friends that I introduce him to. He doesn't have any real feelings for her, not like I do. "You're not very talkative. Usually you'd be giving me all the details and more by now." Ethan addresses me curiously, confused by my hesitance to talk his ears off. I've never went this long without blabbing a long list of secrets to him without even a moment of prodding. It's bizarre. "Do you want a drink? I'm gonna get a drink." I change the subject quickly and efficiently by jumping to fetch some alcohol from the kitchen. "Sure, I'll have a beer." He gets up to follow me and I retrieve two beers from the fridge as he leans against the counter opposing the fridge. I hand him his beer, then take a sip of my own. "Are you and Ana having a fight or something?" He asks and I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. He's not gonna drop the subject, not until I explain what's going on. He's just like me in that way. "I'm in love with her." I state, eyes still pinched shut. "What?" I open my eyes to look my brother in the face. I then proceed to explain the situation with him from the beginning, leaving only the most incriminating parts out. I can't have Ana jumping down my throat for spilling her boyfriends dirty sex secrets. "So, She's back together with him or not? You called him her boyfriend earlier but it doesn't really sound like it." I groan in frustration, slamming my beer down onto the counter with an unsettling and loud clink. "I don't know, okay? She's with him now not here. Does that clear things up?" I practically scream my words at him, not knowing how else to get it any clearer for him. "She's only been gone with him a couple hours, Kate. It's not like they're getting married. You have plenty of time to win her back." Win her back? Is he serious? Doesn't he know who my competition is? "I can't Ethan. There's no way I stand a chance against that beautiful rich fucker. Ana hangs on his every word. He might as well be a god among us mortals." Ethan actually has the audacity to laugh at me. "Kate you can do anything he can and more. I'm sure of it. There's never been a person, male or female, who could resist you." I grab another beer, hardly even listening to him. "He's probably out on a yacht with her right now." I grumble. Fucking her on a yacht. My brain creates the image before I can stop it and I wince. "So? Dad's got a yacht. Why don't you just ask him to borrow it and take her out on it?" I roll my eyes at my brother. Does he really not see the giant hole in that plan? "Yeah. That'll go over real smoothly." I mutter, my voice laced with sarcasm. "I'll just call dad up and ask to take out the yacht for a weekend so I can impress some girl. He'd completely lose his shit and you know it." I say. "It always works for me." I glare at Ethan and he looks apologetic. He must've finally got the flaw in his perfect yacht plan. Dad is not supportive of my love for girls. Maybe if I were trying to impress a guy he'd let me borrow the yacht, but then he'd grill me on why the guy doesn't have a yacht of his own. "Right cause I'm a guy. I get it. Okay so, maybe something smaller? Maybe ask her out to dinner." He's just getting the wheels turning in his head for a more practical get-the-girl plan, when Ana comes walking through the doorway. "Hey, guys!" She greets us cheerfully, her face lit up in reaction to something that happened before she got in. We both stare at her from the kitchen, caught of guard by her sudden appearance. I thought for sure he'd convince her to stay over at his place tonight, but by some miracle she's here. Maybe I do have a chance.


	16. Chapter 16

Ana's Pov;

Christian walks me up to the doorway of Kate and I's apartment and stops just outside the closed door. "I'll see you tomorrow." He says and I nod. "I'll call you when work is over." He smiles at my confirmation that this is not a goodbye, just a see you soon. "Okay." He pulls me in for a quick but passionate kiss. I'm left tingling, breathless, and blushy all over, when it ends. "Go inside. Have fun, but not too much fun." His serious tone only amuses me. "Goodnight, Christian." I call to him as I'm stepping inside the doorway. I catch a glimpse of his smile, then I close the door. Kate and Ethan are inside leaning against the kitchen counter with beers when I walk in. I feel like I'm interrupting something, but I don't know what. "Hey, guys!" I greet them with a wave, then shut the door behind myself. They're still frozen, staring blankly at me, as I start to walk further into the room towards the kitchen. "What's going on?" I ask, looking between the two of them. "Nothing." Ethan's the first to speak. "Just having a few beers. Want one?" Kate's brother offers a cool bottle from the fridge to me and I take it. "Thanks. Kate, how was your day?" I turn to talk to Kate and see she still has a strange look on her face. "Uh, it was okay." She stammers, trying to compose herself. "What about you? What did you and Christian do?" The way she hisses Christian's name is unsettling. I thought they were starting to get along, at least a little bit. "We had dinner and went out on his boat for a while. Nothing too extravagant." I shrug. Well, at least it was pretty normal for Christian. Everything he does borders on the extravagant. Kate and Ethan share a funny look and I purse my lips, feeling left out. "So no chains and whips then?" Kate asks and I gasp. She wouldn't tell Ethan about that would she? "I'm just kidding, Ana. Geez." Kate nudges my arm, trying to make up for her way too close to home version of a joke. I give her a you-better-be-joking look and she shrinks down visibly from her normal confident posture.

 

 

We slowly gravitate to the living room while I catch up with Ethan, and I stop in front of the couch. "Why is your bed set up on the couch? You should sleep in my room. I'm sure you'll sleep much better in a bed and I don't mind sharing a bed with Kate for the night." I offer, glancing back at Kate. "That's a great idea, Ana. I'll help Ethan move his things into your room." Kate agrees, taking Ethan's arm and dragging him with her to grab his suitcase and to take apart the makeshift bed she made him on the couch. They disappear into my bedroom for a while and I hear some whispering, then Kate returns alone. "I think it's time we all get ready for bed." She says and I nod in agreement. I'm a little confused by her sense of urgency. I didn't get much time to talk with Ethan at all, but I'm exhausted from my eventful day with Christian, so I go along with it. I brush my teeth, wash my face, and change into a comfortable t-shirt with no pants. It's warm enough in here that I don't need or want them. I hop back to Kate's bedroom, only to find her already laying in bed. She's under the covers but I can tell she's got her legs crossed. "Is that my shirt?" She asks, when I sit down on the bed. "Yeah, do you mind?" I slide my legs under the covers and leave my top half uncovered. "No. I was just wondering." She says, then there's an awkward silence between us. "Did you tell Ethan about us?" I ask after a long pause. "Not everything, but yes." She confesses. "Not everything?" I question, probing for details now. "I told him enough so that he knows whats going on between us, but I kept it brief when I was talking about Christian if that's what you're worried about." She reassures me that Christians secrets are safe, but I still don't quite feel comforted by the reassurance. "Was Christian angry with you today?" She asks after a while, her voice softer than I expected. "No, not at all." I expected him to be, but he wasn't. He seemed much more forgiving of my previous sexual encounter with Kate than I would've thought. Almost oddly supportive. Very unusual for someone who happens to be such a mercurial control freak like himself. "Really?" She rolls onto her side to face me and I do the same so we're facing each other in the bed. "Yeah, Why?" She looks puzzled for a moment. "I just thought he'd be upset. I was prepared for you to come home all crying and stuff. I figured you'd want your room. That's why I had Ethan out on the couch." I frown, looking into her bright emerald eyes that are now filled with concern. She actually thought he was going to hit me again, as some form of punishment? That's insane. He wouldn't do that. He knows very clearly where I stand on the subject. "Kate, he wouldn't do that. He won't hurt me." I say, but she doesn't look very convinced. She just turns her head up to look at the ceiling. "Kate." I reach out and take her hand and her eyelashes flutter, but she doesn't look at me. Is she crying? It's hard to tell. "Kate, are you okay?" I squeeze her hand, but get no response. I watch her in silence, waiting to see if she'll say or do anything. She doesn't. I hear her take a deep breath and she sniffles, then she finally turns to look at me. "Ana, I know I'm not nearly as brilliant and attractive and rich as Christian, but will you please go to dinner with me-just me tomorrow night?" I furrow my brows in a mingle of confusion and surprise at her phrasing of the question. I know I was supposed to see Christian tomorrow, but I'll just have to tell him to reschedule for another time. Clearly this is important to her, and if she wants me to have dinner with her alone, no Christian, then I should. I don't want to lose her. I don't want her to feel like Christian is any more worthy of my time just because of his money or looks or success. "Yes." I whisper my answer. We sleep together in her bed, then in the morning we get ready for work together. I still have to tell Christian my plans. I'll have to call him during my lunch break or send him an email or something. I need a night out alone with Kate. He'll understand that. She's not just some girl I've slept with a couple times, she's my best friend. I love her.


	17. Chapter 17

Christian's Pov;

My feet hit the ground causing a thumping beat in my ears with each step, louder than the light rain that's pouring down. I'm certain I will need an extra long run this morning. I need the time to think, to clear my head. Ana went back to her apartment with Kate last night instead of staying with me and while I know it was only one night and I'll be seeing her again in less than twelve hours I miss her. I hate sleeping without her and not getting to wake up with her in my arms. Having breakfast in the morning isn't the same without having to practically force her to eat more than two bites. Now that I know what it's like to have her, I never want to go without her. I know it's too soon and far too much to ask of her, but I want her to stay with me permanently. I don't want there to be anymore of this back and forth between her apartment and mine. I want her to stay in my home with me. I want to sleep next to her every night and wake up with her every morning. I want her company. I enjoy having her in my space. She brings light and love and warmth into my bitter existence. She makes my life feel full. I don't feel whole without her. But I know there's no way I'll be able to convince her to move in with me, not now. She likes having her own home to come back to, her own life, and her own zone to exist in without me. More importantly she doesn't want to leave Kate. She's made that clear time and time again. After my run I have to get to work immediately. The office can't run without me there and the bustling business doesn't just take a pause anytime I need to take a breath. Andrea greets me with a nod as the elevator doors ping open and I see she has a new intern at her side. "Mr.Grey." The awkward and obviously unprepared intern offers me a hand and I shake it. "Coffee please." I look to Andrea and she nods compliantly. I settle in at my desk with my coffee and fire up the computer. When it comes to life I check my email first, only to find a new email right at the top from the woman who's always at the forefront of my mind. Miss Ana Steele. I open it up and read. 

From: Anastasia Steele

To: Christian Grey

Subject: Good Morning

Date: June 14 2011 7:00 AM

Good Morning, Mr. Grey. I just wanted to tell you that you are in my thoughts, always.

Yours, Anastasia Steele 

 

I type out my response.

 

From: Christian Grey

To: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Your Thoughts

Date: June 14 2011 7:03 AM

Good Morning, Miss Steele. It's good to know I'm in your thoughts and I hope I never leave them. How was your night with Kate and Ethan? I do hope I was in your thoughts then. I wouldn't want another Kavanaugh competing for your time.

She'll as usual tell me there is nothing to worry about with Ethan, but I still worry anyway. I know there's no way Kate would let her brother even so much as look at Ana in the wrong way, but I can't help my overprotective tendencies. It seems everyone wants to have a shot at Ana's heart or other parts and the thought makes my blood boil. After only a short wait another email from Ana comes in.

From: Anastasia Steele

To: Christian Grey

Subject: Last Night

Date: June 14 2011 7:07 AM

My night with Kate and Ethan was very uneventful. No funny business I promise. Though, I must tell you, I have made plans to go out with Kate this evening. She wants to have dinner and so do I. I hope that's okay with you...

She wants to go out with Kate tonight? I thought we had plans.

From: Christian Grey

To: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Plans

Date: June 14 2011 7:09 AM

I do hope you'll actually eat at this dinner date you have planned this evening. I know that's a very big thing to hope for. 

Her response comes in immediately. 

From: Anastasia Steele

To: Christian Grey

Subject: My Plans/Your approval

Date: June 14 2011 7:10 AM

Is that a yes?

I didn't realize she was really asking for my permission. She's never cared much about my approval before.

From: Christian Grey

To: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Confirmation

Date: June 14 2011 7:12 AM

That's a yes. It's okay with me if you go out with Kate tonight as long as you are safe and careful. Leila is still out there. Until she's found I want to keep security with you at all times.

My mention of Leila brings unbridled worry. She's out there somewhere, close, but I can't reach her still. I don't think I'll ever be able to really relax until she's found. I feel responsible for her breakdown and I won't feel right until I can get her the help she needs. Another email surfaces on my screen.

From: Anastasia Steele

To: Christian Grey

Subject: Security

Date: June 14 2011 7:15 AM

Thank you. For everything. Security is annoying but I understand why it's necessary. I have work to do. I will call you at lunch. 

As I read the last line of her email I imagine that sleazeball of a boss she has to work for hanging over her shoulder at the desk commanding her to direct her attention to whatever he needs instead of her own personal emails. Hyde is an absolute monster to work for. I know this because of the information I've managed to get so far from his report. He's had three harassment claims and two warnings from his superiors. Having just one claim against him would be too many for me to even consider his ethical standing as decent, but to have three? How has he not been arrested by now for being a serial office menace. He's probably all over Ana right now. The man has no sense of personal space or respect for women. My phone rings as I'm looking over his file and I have to stop my reading to answer it. It's my mother. I hesitantly answer it. "Hello, Christian. Darling how are you?" Grace says. "Hello, mother. I'm fine. Working." I look back down at the file as I talk. "Elliot asked me to call you. He's trying to get a hold of Kate. He's actually been trying to contact her for a while now. Apparently she's been avoiding him." I take a deep breath. Of all the ridiculous things my mother could have called me about, why did it have to involve Kate? "Mother, why are you calling me about this?" I ask, thinly hiding my annoyance. "Well, Elliot seems to think you've been seeing Kate or something like that. I'm not really sure." I'm going to kill Elliot. It's been decided. "What exactly did Elliot tell you?" There's a long silence on the phone before she answers. "He said you were seeing both Ana and Kate. I told him that wasn't true. That's more his style than yours. But he's pretty convinced." Someone seriously needs to knock some sense into my brother. I never wanted my mother involved in any of my personal affairs and now he's got her all wrapped up in this. "I'm not. Elliot doesn't know what he's talking about. I've only spent time with Kate as a friend, actually not even that. She's more Ana's friend than mine. Tell Elliot to deal with Kate on his own." I mutter. "Is that the only reason you were calling?" I ask, wanting nothing more than to end this call. "I wanted to ask your permission to throw you a party for your birthday." I internally groan, but externally agree. "Okay. Mom, I gotta go." We say our goodbyes and I hang up.

 

Near lunchtime I get an email from Ana informing me that she has an overnight business trip to New York coming up. It's with Hyde of course. He'd make up any excuse to get her alone and she's naive enough that she'd follow along with it. We argue back and forth for a while, but when she calls about an hour later my anger dissipates at the sound of her voice. "Hi." She says, sounding anxious. "Hi." I respond normally, no anger left inside me. "Are you still mad?" She asks, softly. "No." I can't stay mad at her. "Good. You were right about Jack." Anger flares back up in me, hot and heavy. "Did he try something with you?" I ask. "No. I told him I'm with you and he backed off. I can handle myself, Christian. You have no need to doubt me." She rushes to reassure me, but it does little to ease my worry. "I just couldn't live with myself if something happened to you. I love you, Ana. I need to protect you. I never want to lose you. I can't imagine a life without you in it." I hear her intake of breath through the phone and I know she's smiling. "I love you too, more than you know." Her words flood me with relief. She loves me. It's hard for me to believe, but she says she does, and I trust her. "Can I see you tonight? After you have dinner with Kate?" She pauses for a moment and for a second I'm worried she's going to say no. "Sure, of course." She breathes and I smile in response. "Come over to my place, you can stay the night." She agrees to my invite to stay the night, not knowing that I want her to stay not just this night, but every night, for the rest of our lives. If she stayed she'd be mine, really mine. I wonder if Ana feels the same. I wonder if she wants me to be hers forever. I could ask her to marry me. I could wake up every day beside her. I could sleep beside her every night. She could be Mrs. Grey instead of Miss Steele.


	18. Chapter 18

Ana's Pov;

Once I hang up my call with Christian I hear someone behind me. I whip my head around only to see Jack standing much closer than I had expected anyone to be. "Did I startle you?" He asks, his lips twitch in amusement. "Oh, uh. No." I stammer, searching for a proper answer for him. I've just been caught slacking off at work. I feel like such an idiot for not even bothering to check behind me when I was talking with Christian on the phone. Jack could've been there the entire time. "You're not getting paid to make personal calls." I swallow hard, blushing deeply. "Right, I know. I'm sorry." I stutter out my apology. Jack doesn't seem satisfied. "I need you to check out those last couple pages of the brief I've emailed you." Jack leans over me as he talks and I shrink away from him. He's close uncomfortably so. His arm bumps against mine and I look up at him instinctively. I look back to my computer so I can get to the document he wants me to look over. He slips his hand behind my back in the space between my shoulder blades and the chair. "It's just those right there. The rest are perfect." He points the pages out to me on the screen and I shudder at the warmth of his breath near my ear. I work on the changes, struggling to focus because of how nervous his proximity is making me. "When your done we should go out for drinks. It's been a long day." Yes, it has. A very long day. I can't wait to get away from him, so I rush through my final changes. Christian is right about Jack. I wish he wasn't but he is. There's no way I can go to New York with him. My phone pings and lights up on the desk. I can tell without looking it's from Kate. She's waiting on me outside. "I think I've gotten all the changes taken care of that you wanted. Is there anything else I need to do?" I make cautious eye contact with Jack. "In a hurry?" He asks. "A little. Someone's waiting on me." He cocks his head to the side, looking at me in a way that makes me want to disappear completely. I can't tell if he's angry with me or trying to be seductive. His mood change so easily. "The boyfriend?" I shake my head. "A friend." He smiles and it makes my insides clench uneasily. "So, you are allowed to have friends then." His voice is almost teasing. "Yes. Of course." I want to roll my eyes, but I don't. I know better than to agitate him. "I guess I'll let you get to your friend then." He backs off, and I get up to leave. "Thanks, See you tomorrow, Jack." I offer him a fake smile, then nearly run out of the building and to Kate's car.

 

Kate sits across from me at the dining table, leaning towards me as we talk. The soft lighting of the restaurant gives an extra glow to her already flawless complexion. She's a blonde goddess, sun kissed and perfect. Yet she's here talking to me about work of all things, as if she doesn't have plenty of better things to do with her time. "I got in trouble with my boss." I say, and Kate's jaw drops. "You. Ana Steele. Did something bad?" She looks so proud, it makes me blush horribly. "Well, sometimes I don't always follow the rules. I can on occasion be known to speed." I point out an example for her to take away the shock factor, but it has no effect on her. "What'd you do? Please tell me it's something juicy." Kate grins mischievously and I groan. "It's really not. Christian called and I was speaking on the phone with him. Jack just caught me is all. I'm sure people do it all the time." Kate pouts, displeased with my answer. "Was it at least you know, a sexy call?" She whispers, eyebrows arched. "Oh god, Kate, no! We just had an argument and I wanted to call him to just check if everything was okay and it was and that was it. Very boring I know." Kate sighs in agreement with my boring assessment. "Oh, here's something good! Elliot called again, and again, and again. He calls a lot." Kate tells me animatedly and I nod along. "Yes, I'm aware." He calls Christian too. It's rather annoying. "But anyways this time I actually answered. He was going on and on about how sorry he feels for pressuring me and all that. The usual apology I get from him every time he gets the chance. Then he went on to tell me that his brother is always ruining opportunities for him and I was like what are you talking about, Elliot? And then he tells me he's talking about me. So then I tried to explain to him that I obviously didn't sleep with his brother, I slept with you and he didn't buy that. He said Ana wouldn't do that and I said oh yes she would." I laugh, covering my mouth with my hand. I nearly spat my drink at that last part. Kate is so serious, dead serious. It's hilarious. "Did he believe you?" She nods. "Oh yeah. That's the best part. After that he said Christian made you do it and I asked why he would say that. Wanna know what he said?" I nod enthusiastically, desperate to hear more of the insanely funny story she's telling. I want to know so badly where Elliot's getting such a wild theory from. "Oh my god this is the best part." Kate opens her mouth to continue, but starts laughing instead. "He just says in the most serious voice I've ever heard him use that Christian is forcing you to have sex with me because Christian is a pervert who can't have a normal relationship so he just had to ruin Elliot's and so I asked if he really thought anyone has to be forced or coerced into having sex with me and he started to backtrack after realizing how crazy he sounded, but I just hung up after that. I couldn't do it anymore. It's pathetic." I'm nearly in tears laughing. I can't believe Elliot would say that about his own brother. It's even funnier when I realize how right he is. Not about Kate and I's relationship being Christian's evil doing, but about Christian being a pervert. "Kate, Jesus. I can't breathe." I pant, trying to stop the massive giggle attack that has started. "Oh god, I know. Can you imagine if Elliot actually knew the truth?" Kate laughs, it's music to my ears. I take a deep slow breath. We have to get a grip. We're in a public dining facility not a dorm room. When we've both calmed down and there's no more fellow customers shooting looks our way, Kate is the first to speak. "So, what did you and Christian argue about? I meant to ask earlier but I got sidetracked on the whole Elliot thing." I shake my head, still smiling hugely from our previous conversation. "Don't worry about that. Tonight's supposed to be about you and me. Not Christian, remember." I don't want to talk about work or Elliot, or anything related to Christian and his family. There's something that's been weighing on my mind since late last night and now's my time to ask her about it. "Last night, when you asked me to get dinner with you today. You said you weren't as attractive and rich and smart as Christian. Why would you think that's true? And even if that was true why would you ever think that it matters to me?" She sighs, not making eye contact with me. "Because it does matter to you. I'm not saying that you're shallow. It's just that those are part of the things that make him who he is and you love him. There's nothing I can say or do to change that." She looks sad and I wish that she didn't. I wish she wasn't right. "Yes, I love him. Sometimes it feels like I love him too much for my own good. But I love you too, so much." I say, my eyes welling up with tears. How can I explain to anyone, even to myself, that I love two people at once? How does that make sense for anybody? "I know you do, and I love you too." Kate assures me, but it does little to make me feel like less of a horribly selfish person. "I just wish it was enough." I wish love was enough to hold us all together, but I know deep down there's no way it could be. I want to say something more, but I can't find the words. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I know I will if we continue the way we have. I just don't know what the right thing to do is. I try to put my head down in my hands so I don't have to look at Kate, but she grabs my hands and holds them. She looks into my eyes and I can't look away from her anymore. I don't want to. She doesn't look sad anymore. She looks sure, determined. "It is enough. For now, it's enough." She takes my face and kisses me, having to stretch over the table to reach me where I'm sitting. When we get back to the apartment I feel relieved, better than I have in a while. Kate and I's relationship is going to be fine. Our bond is strong, as best friends and as more. Nothing that happens between her and I, and Christian and I, can ever break that bond.


	19. Chapter 19

Christian's Pov;

As soon as Ana and Kate get back to their apartment from their dinner date, Ana calls me. "I know I said I would come over tonight but..." She starts and my heart drops. She's cancelling on me, isn't she? "Ana, please." I beg her, hoping she'll change her mind. "I was just going to ask if you'd come over here instead." Oh thank god. I breathe a sigh of relief and give her a resounding yes. All it takes is a few minutes to pack a bag, have Taylor drive me over, then I've got Ana in my arms standing in her doorway. She squeezes me excitedly, arms tight around my shoulders. "I missed you too, baby." I pat her hair and she relaxes into my arms. After a few moments of us embracing in the doorway she steps back and pulls me inside further so she can shut and lock the door. "Hello, Kate." I offer her a cool greeting. She smiles brightly, kicking her legs up on the coffee table in front of the couch she's so gracefully slumped upon. "Hi, Christian." She gives me a wave, but I can tell her glowing smile is not sincere. "I need to go take a shower." Ana announces drawing my attention back to her. "It'll be quick, I promise. You-" She grabs me around the waist and drags me forward to stand in front of the couch. "Can wait right here." She pushes me down onto the couch and I grin up at her. She's always so happy to have me in her space, to be able to make me a part of her life. Why doesn't she seem to believe that I want the same? She scurries off to the bathroom to get out of her work clothes and into something clean and fresh. When she's gone, I force myself to turn towards Kate. She's already staring at me, looking annoyingly smug. She looks different tonight. She looks hot. She's dressed much more formal than the normal Seattle Times office attire. She's got on an unnecessarily full face of makeup on, complete with some form of sheeny reddish lip gloss. I look her up an down a second time, analyzing her. This can't possibly be an everyday look for her. I would have noticed. I don't see much of her normal work morning routine, but I have a good feeling her sudden boost in grooming strategies has nothing to do with work at all. "I know what you're doing, Kate." I squint at her as she bats her eyelashes rather aggressively. "Hmm? I don't know what you're talking about, Christian." She feigns innocence, eyes wide and glistening. "Kate." I say her name flatly, looking down at her where she's half laying-half sitting on the couch. "Christian." She repeats after me, mocking my tone. From the angle she's in I can get a clear view straight down her top. I keep my eyes trained on her face. "I know you've done all this to get Ana's attention." I gesture up and down her body as an example and she makes a shocked face at me. "I would never!" She exclaims, but I can tell she's playing with me. There's a short silence of us just staring at each other, then Kate breaks the silence. "But if I was, do you think it's working?" I groan, bringing my hand up to cover my eyes. I rub them, not saying anything. "I don't know, Kate." I answer her, still covering my eyes out of exasperation. "I'm here. She had me come here instead of staying at my place with me. I don't know if that's supposed to mean something or not. I was planning to ask her to move in with me." I don't know why I'm telling Kate my plans, but for some reason I feel like I should. We're both important to Ana, we both love Ana, we should be on the same page. "You can't do that." Kate sits up in alarm and I uncover my eyes to look at her. "Yes, I can." She looks panicked, but I don't see why. The apartment's already paid for by her parents it's not like she's relying on Ana for her half of the bills. "No, Christian. You can't just take her away from me like that." She says it as if I'm trying to kidnap Ana and just steal her away in the night. It's disarming to know she'd jump to such conclusions. "Look, Kate. Believe it or not I'm not trying to hurt Ana. I love her and I want her to be happy just as much as you do. I'm not going to take her away to my penthouse and lock her up in a cage. I'm not taking her freewill away. She's free to come and go as she pleases it'll just be where she keeps her things and the address on her paperwork. You can still see her whenever you want." Kate eyes me doubtfully, trying to decide if there's truth in my speech. "Fine." She mutters, after a while, still looking sour. A door opens down the hall and Ana comes walking in. That perks Kate right up, erasing her sour mood entirely. I turn to look as Ana comes in and my jaw nearly drops at the sight. She's all legs in a soaking wet t-shirt and long dripping hair. She's not even wearing pants. Why bother when everyone in the apartment has already seen you naked? I want to jump and shield her with my body but it's too late, Kate's already looking at her with the same look on her face I just had. "Hey." Ana giggles, appearing just as shocked to see the two of us. "Did I interrupt something?" Ana asks, looking at both Kate and I. I hadn't realized how closely we had been leaning in while we were talking. Somehow we started on opposite ends of the couch and have shifted to to be nearly touching in the middle. "We were just talking, you know Christian's real big on small talk." Kate lies smoothly and I resist the urge to punch her shoulder. I jump up from the couch and approach Ana, ready to get her back to the bedroom now more than ever. I don't want her to know we were talking about her. "Ready for bed?" I ask, wrapping an arm around her. "Er..sure." She nods, furrowing her brows in confusion. I wipe my finger between her brows and she calms them, her face taking on a relaxed expression. "Goodnight, Kate." Ana says and Kate jumps up from the couch. "Wait! One more thing." She runs over to us and stands in front of Ana. "Unzip me?" She turns around, her back to Ana. "Fine." Ana rolls her eyes, stepping forward to find the zipper beneath Kate's silky hair. "You could've done this yourself." Ana scolds, unzipping the back of Kate's chiffon blouse. Kate smiles directly at me as Ana assists her in undressing. Then she grabs Ana's hands when she's done, holding Ana against her backside. She turns her head to the side as Ana moves in closer and Kate grabs Ana's face to kiss her. Ana's caught off guard, but she doesn't pull away. She stays perfectly still as Kate kisses her once with a surge of desire and longing, then ends the kiss, only to quickly plant another hot smacking kiss on Ana's lips. I wish I was the one getting unzipped around here, my pants certainly need it. Ana licks her already wet lips and then bites the lower one, taking all thoughts of foreplay off the table for tonight. I'm fucking her hard and fast the minute we get into that bedroom whether she likes it or not. "You can go to bed now." Kate lets her go, smirks at me, then walks in the opposite direction towards the bathroom. It takes no longer than five seconds for me to scoop Ana up and take her into the bedroom.

 

 

I can still hear the sound of Kate's shower running when we finish. "That was fast." Ana breathes, her chest still heaving from the rush. "Yeah. Would you like to go again, maybe take things slower?" I offer, still a little out of breath myself. I'm used to physically exerting myself, but Ana's not quite as adjusted. "I think I need a minute." Ana sighs and I chuckle. "Earlier Kate told me something. I think you'll find it quite comical. Would you like to hear?" I nod, turning on my side to face Ana while still keeping an arm around her waist. "Elliot called her." I groan internally, while Ana's trying to control the urge to giggle. "He thinks you're the mastermind behind this whole not quite threesome situation." I raise my eyebrows. "Oh, yeah?" I question, already knowing his delusional theory, but wanting to let her tell the story anyway. "He thinks you're making Kate and I do...you know...things for your own sexual purposes." She tells me, eyes wild with amusement. "Maybe I should. Wouldn't want the two of you having any sort of fun without my guidance." I playfully recreate my dom look and she giggles. As appealing as it sounds to have two women entirely under my control, to be able to choose how and when they're intimate, to have them be together in my playroom or on my bed for my eyes only, I know that could never happen. Only in my subconscious, as dreams and fantasies. That's not the reality. There's no way the two of them would ever agree to such a thing. Kate's not a submissive, not even a little bit. And while Ana likes to sometimes be in a submissive role she's very much in charge of her own sex life. I like our relationship the way it is. I want Ana to make choices on her own for herself, not for me. It's the only way she'll know what she really wants and needs and what she doesn't. I can't dictate her entire life for her and I can't be the sole provider of all her sexual experiences. I wish I could have her all to myself in every way, but I can't, not yet. "He got one thing right though." Ana says, her lips pursed in that pouty way she does when she's in thought. "What's that?" I ask. "You are one kinky fucker." Her voice is all seriousness, but I can tell she's trying hard not to laugh. "I'll show you a kinky fucker, Ms.Steele." She grins in anticipation and squeals as I roll on top of her and pin her down on the bed to have some kinky fuckery of our own. When we're done with round two, we're both exhausted. It's late and we've got another busy day ahead of us tomorrow. "Baby, before you go to sleep I want to ask you something." I twirl a strand of her hair around my finger. She doesn't respond so I pull the twisted up strand and her eyes pop open. "Christian! Ow..." She pouts, her eyes annoyed and I laugh. Just because I can't take her to the playroom doesn't mean I can't inflict some minor pain for my own enjoyment. "What'd you want to ask?" She questions, looking much more alert and attentive. "I was planning to ask you back at my place. I want you to move in with me and I was going to be all hearts and flowers and ask you to just stay in my bed forever tonight, but since we're in your bed that'd be a bit silly." I see her eyes light up when she realizes what I'm saying. "You want me to move in with you? Like permanently?" I nod, and her shocked expression turns into the most adorable face cracking smile. She makes a low sound and nuzzles into my chest, but she doesn't give me an answer. "Please move in with me." I look down at her, feeling hopeful, but still nervous. I won't be able to relax until she gives me an answer. "Can I have some time to think about it?" She mumbles sleepily, her eyes falling back closed. "Sure, baby. Take all the time you need." She whispers something that I can't quite hear. I think it was a thank you. Then she's out cold. I kiss her head, then I settle in to get some sleep myself.


	20. Chapter 20

Kate's Pov;

When Ana and I get up to the door of our apartment after work I get my keys out, but when I go to unlock it I realize it's already unlocked. Ana and I share a look, neither of us know of any reason for the door being unlocked. I know for certain I locked it this morning before I left for work and Ana hasn't been home since late last night. "Did you lock it this morning?" Ana asks. I shrug my shoulders, doubting myself now. "I guess not." I open up the door and shove my keys back down into my back pocket. I go in first and Ana trails behind me. There's no signs of anything out of place. I must've just left the door unlocked without realizing. I walk deeper into the apartment, heading in the direction of my room and behind me Ana walks into the bathroom. I hear some shuffling, and at first I think Ana's walking back to my room, but nothing but silence follows. "Ana!" I call her name. No response. "Ana?" I say it again, this time slowly walking down the hall towards the main room. I see Ana's back first, but she's frozen still. "Whats going on?" I'm just starting to ask, but when I get up to stand beside her, her answer becomes unneeded. She's frozen, stunned into silence by the woman standing in front of us. It's the girl Christian's been looking for. His ex-girlfriend or ex-submissive. I'm not sure what to call her. My eyes peer over at Ana without my head or body moving an inch. She looks terrified. I follow her eyes down to the gun in the other woman's hand. Fuck. Where's Christians extra security now? "Leila, hi." Ana whispers, talking to the distressed woman before us. Her voice is shaky, but she tries to make it seem calm, friendly even. I don't know how she does it. I feel like my mouth has become glued shut. "Can I help you? Are you looking for Christian?" She perks up visibly when Ana mentions Christian. It's clear that he means a great deal to her. Leila shakes her head slightly, her expression bleak. She's not looking for Christian, but it's clear she wants to get to him. Why else would she come here? She's dirty, in desperate need of a shower. Her hair is long and weighted with oils and dirt buildup. Where's she been staying? How has she hidden from Christian and his security team all this time? Ana moves towards her and I want to grab her hand but I don't stop her. I can't remember how to move. Leila doesn't aim the gun at either of us, she just stands strangely calm, as Ana steps past her and begins to make some tea. "Christian's not here." Ana says, not looking at Leila. She pulls cups out of the cabinet for tea. "Why do you keep calling him that?" Leila asks, her voice soft and curious. "Because that's his name." Ana whispers, unsure if what she's saying will trigger any emotional reaction in Leila. She's doing great so far, none of us are dead, but the gun still remains in Leila's unstable hands. "What do you have that I don't? How can he let you call him that? How do you sleep in his bed? Master can't be touched but you've touched him. I've seen you." There's a rise of hysteria in Leila's voice. It makes my heart rate double. "Christian wants me to do all of those things. I'm not his submissive. He knows I can't do that." Ana remains gentle and calm. She's stuck between being honest and being soothing towards Leila. "But he's happy with you. You make him happy. Why couldn't I?" Leila says, her expression empty of all emotions. I can tell Ana feels for this woman, I do too. It's heartbreaking to see how upset she is over Ana's relationship with Christian. I know Christian is fucked up and a bit of a piece of work, but if this is what it looks like on the other end of a relationship with him I don't want to see Ana end up this way. If she stays with Christian this could easily be her in another year or so. Whenever he decides she's not enough. I can tell Ana's thinking the same thing. If Christian could do this to Leila, if he could make her feel this way, he could do the same to Ana. "You look like me, us, all the others. We all loved him, but we weren't enough. You are enough. Master loves you. I saw you together, in his bed." She's been watching Ana for a long time now. She's planned this out, but I can't tell what her endgame is. "Leila, will you give me the gun, please?" Ana asks, pleading with her. Leila tightens her grip on the gun. "Maybe just set it down?" Ana tries again with no response. I look around trying to find some hint or clue, something to help me figure out what to do to stop the scene happening before me. I want to protect Ana, I need to protect Ana, but I can't. I feel so helpless. Ana looks at me, her eyes staring into mine. I can tell she doesn't want me to jump to her rescue, she know's if I make a sudden move it would only set Leila off. She want's me to stay still so I do. I trust her plan. I stare past Ana to the kitchen counter with her not yet drunken tea, and there I spot her phone. It's lit up just slightly and I can see numbers on the screen. She's called someone, but either they aren't talking or the volume is down. It has to be Christian. She called him when she was getting the tea, somehow careful enough to keep Leila from noticing. He's probably got security on the way now. Someone to come help. I look back at Ana and right when I do the door bursts open. It's Christian. I recognize one of the security guys behind him as Taylor. He holds one hand out to Taylor, warning him to back off, as his gaze settles on Leila. I can see the connection between them and I know Ana can too. I see him mouth something to Leila and she drops to the floor just like that, no physical force needed. For once I see her look scared as she drops the gun. Christian bends slowly and takes the gun from where it's landed on the floor. No one moves for a second, there's just a tense period of silence. Christian slips the gun into his jacket pocket and stares down at Leila, watching her. The effect on Ana is an obvious one of pain. She looks like she might as well have just been shot. She can't pry her eyes away from Christian and Leila, and I can't look away from her. We're all completely stuck at a standstill. "Anastasia, go with Taylor. Take Kate with you." Christian commands, not looking up. Taylor inches towards Ana offering a hand, but she doesn't take it. She slowly but surely begins to walk towards me instead. I take her hand and walk with her behind Taylor, nearly having to drag her away from the scene. I know she doesn't want to leave him alone with her, but she has to. It's the only way to be sure she's safe.

 

We head outside with Taylor, but Ana stops walking completely when we get to the sidewalk. "Christian wants the two of you back at his apartment." Taylor says, his voice stern but unsure. I don't think he quite knows how to act around Ana. He knows she rarely follows any of Christians rules, but it's supposed to be his job to help enforce them. "I don't want to go to Escala. I want to stay with Kate." Ana argues, standing her ground. "We can't go back in the apartment, Ana." I try to reason with her, brushing my fingertips through the side of her hair. I don't want to rush off to Christians's apartment either, but I don't know what else to do. "We can go for drinks." Ana looks to me for confirmation and I give her a small nod. I can tell Taylor wants to stop us but he doesn't. We walk alone to the bar across the street and sit in the seats closest to the window. Ana doesn't even look at me, she just stares blankly out into the open street. I get our drinks and pass one to her, a beer. She cracks it open and takes a sip. "What do you think he's doing with her now?" Ana asks, her voice cracked and riddled with anxiety. "I don't know." I really don't have a clue. He could be calling for a doctor or maybe some relatives. What more can he do if he won't call the cops on the girl even when she's got a gun. "That's what he likes. She's exactly what he wants. And now he's alone with her." Tears spring into Ana's eyes and I know that within seconds it'll be like a faucet has burst and they'll be tears spilling everywhere. She knows Leila's mentally unstable, and rather physically unstable as well at this point, but I can tell what she's thinking. She's thinking about all the things Leila did with Christian that she wouldn't. She's thinking about how she dropped to her knees without even a question while Ana wouldn't ever follow his orders that easily, not even if her life depended on it. Leila was there for him in a way Ana never will be. Christian says that's not what he wants but she knows that part of him does and probably always will. That lifestyle, even the extremes of it, come so naturally to him. I remember how he stroked Leila's hair and I wonder if in another setting he would have done the very same, in the time before Ana. He could be doing anything with that woman now, anything he wants. "Ana." I wrap my arms around her to comfort her, my own eyes filling with tears. I hold her by the window, both of us staring out the window deep in our own thoughts and theories of what has happened, what will happen, and what is currently happening inside our apartment building. A car pulls up out front and we watch it in a trance. "Do you recognize him?" I ask and I feel Ana nod. "He's Christian's therapist." Of course Christian has a therapist, how didn't I think of that. He must have called the doctor over to help with Leila. We watch as Christian brings Leila out. She's held tightly in his arms wrapped in a throw blanket from our couch. I am horrified as they all get into the vehicle and leave. I tilt my head down to see Ana's reaction, but she just looks numb. There's nothing more to watch, so we turn away from the window and have a few more drinks, this time of hard liquor. Somehow Ana is handling her alcohol much better than to be expected. Taylor's car returns outside and I can see it's just him inside. "That must be for me." Ana says with a huff. "So, do you think I can go back to the apartment then?" I ask and Ana nods. "I don't see why not. Is that what you want to do?" I think about it for a moment. I'd really like to not be there when her and Christian have to discuss the events surrounding Leila. It seems like something Ana must do on her own. "Yeah, I think it's best if I go home. You'll be okay though?" Ana nods as we stand to leave. "I'll be fine. I'll see you tomorrow." Ana sounds sure and I trust her judgment. I pull her in for a lengthy hug, inhaling the sweet scent of her apple orchard hair. "Be safe, okay?" I nuzzle her neck. "You too. I love you." Ana says, and then swallows hard, tears threatening to make a reappearance. "I love you too, baby." I lean in and kiss her softly, lovingly. Then it's time for us to go. We part ways, her getting into Taylor's car, and I going into our apartment building.


	21. Chapter 21

Christian's Pov;

I leave Leila with Dr.Flynn. I know she's in good hands with him and that there's not much more I can do for her. I still feel awful leaving her. I'm overcome with guilt after all that I've seen today. Leila in Ana's apartment with a gun, Leila naked and covered in dirt when I bathed her. Those moments will be burned in my brain for a long time, possibly forever. When I get in the car Taylor informs me that Ana didn't go back to Escala. She went to a bar for drinks with Kate. I want to yell at him, better fire him, but I know that won't solve the problem. Ana's out there somewhere, angry and hurt, and with Kate getting drunk. I'm brooding all the way home, my insides torn at the possible scenarios currently happening between the two women at the bar. Shit. What if Ana leaves me? What if Kate is with her right now, convincing her that that's the right choice. Ana's in a very vulnerable state right now, we all are a bit shaken up, but Kate wouldn't take advantage of that. At least I hope she wouldn't. I won't know until I hear from Ana and I have no guess for when that'll be since I have no way of contacting her. Her purse and cell phone were left in the apartment when she left and now I have them with me. When I get inside my apartment I take a seat at the breakfast bar. Gail has cooked dinner, but I'm not interested. My appetite has disappeared with Ana. Until she shows up all I can do is worry. The nagging thought of her and Kate out getting drunk, having a repeat of their last drunken night out, is upsetting to me. I find Taylor and order him to go check if Ana's still at the bar and if she is to wait for her until she comes out so he can bring her back to me. It take's a while, a long while, of just me alone, waiting in silence. But eventually Taylor returns with Ana. The elevator pings open and Ana shuffles into the living room, her expression sulky. At least she's here, for that I'm relieved. "Anastasia!" I call her name louder and harsher than I intended to, my anger bubbling out without my consent. I don't want to fight with her, but I have a feeling that's exactly what I'm about to do. "Where have you been? I was worried sick!" She steps back away from me as I approach and I can tell by the look in her eyes she's drunk. She's not over the top drunk as I feared, but she's drunk enough for me to be angry about it. I don't even want to know her drink to eat ratio because I've got a good feeling I already know it. Several drinks and no eating. "Are you drunk?" She shrugs, looking away. "You were supposed to come back here. I wanted you to be here when I got home." I spit the words at her, more accusing than I should be. She never agreed to do anything I say, in fact she rarely does what I say, I should be able to handle the frustration her disobedience causes. "I just went for a few drinks with Kate. You're the one who was in my apartment with your ex." She's angry, just as much as I am. I don't know why that surprises me. I stare at her, feeling a little confused. What exactly does she think happened while she was away? Does she really think so low of me to think I'd sleep with Leila in the condition she was in, let alone in her apartment? "Where's Leila? Did you bring her back here?" Ana looks around, then settles on me. "What? No. Leila is in the psychiatric hospital. I had Flynn help her get admitted." I hope my clarification will make her stop looking at me in such an accusatory way, but it doesn't. She stands her ground, not softening in the slightest. "What, Ana?" I press her for answers and she finally caves. "I'm not going to be enough for you. I can't be what you need. You need someone like Leila. Someone who can submit to you fully all the time, every moment of the day. And I just can't. I can't do this anymore." My scalp tingles hearing her words. She's leaving. I can feel her slipping away. I was stupid to think she could ever love me, not now that she knows I'm a monster. "Please Ana. Please don't say that. I love you." She shakes her head, lips parted as if she's trying to say something but can't find the words. I do the only thing I can think to do to make her stay. I grab her hands and drop to my knees, both knees, not just one. I can't support myself anymore. I feel like the air has been kicked from my lungs. My chest aches with pain, a pain that I try to shut out. It overcomes me. She looks beautiful from this angle, from every angle, I think about this as she looks down at me. I can't lose her. I don't want to live without her. I focus on her face, trying to find the strength to go on. "Christian." She says my name pulling me back to the surface out of the depths of my despair. I know what I have to do to keep her. I've known it all along. "Marry me." The words tumble out without any true emotion. It's all I can do to just say it. I have to hope it's enough. "Marry me, please." I squeeze her hands as she stares down at me, mouth agape. "Christian!" She drops to her knees in front of me, to sit at eye level with me. She hasn't said yes. She's not saying yes. Panic rises in my chest, stronger than before. I've read her all wrong. She doesn't want to marry me, she never could. I'm her first boyfriend. She'll have plenty more after me then she'll find the one she wants to marry. She'll leave me alone. "Christian stop. You don't have to do this. I'm not leaving you, I promise. But I won't marry you. Not yet. I love you but I can't marry you so please just stop." I try to focus on the good. She's said she loves me. She's said she won't leave. She also said she won't marry me. It's hard not to dwell on that part. "I don't understand why you want me so badly. Why you love me. But I know I feel the same for you. That's why I want to try. I will keep trying, no matter what, but I need you to talk to me. I need you to tell me what's going on inside because I don't understand the darkness inside you. I can't help you if you can't show me what to fix." When I don't say anything she reaches her hand up to my face. She wipes away tears I didn't know where there as some of her own begin to fall. She kisses me and her lips are so soft and comforting. I need her and by some miracle she's here for me. She needs me too. I take her hand and guide it to my chest, just over my heart. I'm all her's. I have been for a long time and someday I'll make her all mine, but not today. She said no. She's not going to agree to marry me, not tonight at least, but there's always hope for tomorrow. With her I never run out of hope. "Ana, I'm a sadist. I know I lied about it before and that was wrong, but I don't like to think of myself that way. It's the worst part of myself. I like inflicting pain on women, women like Leila. Women like my birth mother. I don't want to be this way, but I am. When you left I knew I could never hurt you like that again. I never would want to, not if it meant losing you." She looks at me almost in disbelief. "So I'm right. I can't be what you need, not really." She looks down, defeated. "No! You can be. You are. I talk with Dr.Flynn about it as often as I can. I'm trying. I'm really trying to change. I want to change. I never want to hurt you not like I've done to women in the past. I never want anyone or anything to hurt you. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Ana sighs, taking my hand and holding it tight. "You know, that wasn't a very romantic proposal." She gives me a small smile and I am flooded with relief. "I know. I'm sorry. I'll try again later." Her smile deepens. She wants hearts and flowers and I intend to give her just that. I just need a little time to map out all the details and she needs some time to think. "Come. You need to eat." I help her to her feet and lead her into the kitchen. She takes a seat on a bar stool and her pout returns. "What?" I ask, shuffling through the fridge to find our uneaten dinner Gail prepared. "I'm not hungry." She states. I pop the macaroni and cheese dish into the microwave. "Too late. I'm already warming up dinner." She groans, and I'm delighted by the sound. This is so normal for us, so calming after the drama of the day. "What happened when you and Kate left the apartment?" I ask, turning to face her as our dinner rotates in the microwave behind me. "I already told you. Kate and I had drinks across the street." She answers normally, no emotions left boiling inside. At least for now we're both calm and serene. "Yes I know. What else? Besides the drinking?" I press for more information and she frowns. "What do you mean what else? You think Kate and I ran off for some recreational girl on girl action somewhere while you we're caring for Leila?" She's starting to get angry. I have to be careful of what I say next. I don't want another fight. "Of course not." Well, I did a little, somewhere in the back of my mind. I wouldn't put it past Kate. I have a feeling she might be more sexually deviant than I am, and she certainly shares my inability to keep her hands off Ana. "I just meant how was it? The drinking?" Ana snorts and I hear the microwave sound off loudly and unpleasantly. "The drinking was fine, Christian. Most drinking is. We sat in a window seat and watched the apartment from the window." She answers me cooly, a hint of annoyance in her quiet voice. I turn and get the hot macaroni and cheese from the microwave. "What'd you do with Leila? While I was gone?" I nearly drop the hot bowl of mac-n-cheese at her question. "Well, um..." I'm at a loss for words, nervous of her reaction. "We talked. Mostly I talked, not so much her." I have to be honest, but do I have to give all the details? "I bathed her, dressed her, fed her, then sent her on her way with Dr.Flynn." I try to breeze through the details, but I know Ana doesn't miss a thing. "Okay." I look at Ana, waiting for more, but no more words come out. I take a bite of my dinner, not caring that it's burning hot. I might have put it in too long. I can't believe someone as brilliant as Ana is with a man who can't even operate a microwave correctly. It's embarrassing. "I need to go to bed." Ana announces, then she gets up and leaves the room without having even a bite of her dinner. Fuck. It's going to take a lot of convincing to get her to marry me, but I'll put in my best efforts to make being with me easier on her. I know I come with a lot of baggage, but I want to believe she's strong enough to carry it.


	22. Chapter 22

Ana's Pov;

I feel exhausted, empty, and numb, as I storm out of Christian's kitchen, leaving him to have dinner alone. I know he was just being honest by telling me about Leila, he was doing the right thing, but I don't want to have to hear another word about it. So I can't stay and talk it out with him. I'm finished talking for the night. I crawl into his bed and curl up in a ball, my mind racing with the days events. Leila broke into my apartment with a gun. Christian bathed her in my home, dressed her in my clothes. He let me touch him for the first time, no map needed. He opened himself to me completely. He showed me the monster he believes is lurking deep down inside. Most mind blowing of all he asked me to marry him. He wants me to be his wife, to commit to him and only him forever, to be his in all ways. Can I do that? I don't know. I want to. I want to so badly. I just don't know the entirety of what I'm getting myself into with him. There's still so much we've yet to learn about each other. I rub my temples, closing my eyes, and I try to relax myself into a deep slumber. Soon the thoughts and worries clawing at my brain subside.

I wake to the sound of Christian screaming. He's having a nightmare. I grab onto his shoulders and hold him still in my arms, he thrashes, but eventually it stops. His eyes open and he peers up at me, waking up. "You left." He gasps. "In my dream you left. Please don't leave." He whispers. He seems so small, so fragile. It's heartbreaking. "I'm here. I'm right here with you. I'm not going anywhere." I stroke his cheek, as his eyes begin to flutter. My answer seems to calm him down at least a little. He's reassured, at least for now, that I'm not going to up and run no matter what problem we'll have to face next. His eyes close, then open, then close again. "Oh, Ana." He sighs my name, his expression one of deep relief. He wraps his arms around me tightly, holding me as I am him. I stroke his cheek and hair, looking into his dark eyes. I feel wide awake now. He leans in and kisses me hastily. He then kisses down the side of my jaw and my neck. He tugs my t-shirt off, to gain access to my body as well as he claims me as his. "I want you so much, Ana. I need you please." He pulls me into his lap, placing me on top. His eyes are filled with longing for me. I can't bear to resist him any longer. My body is aching for him, and only him, in this moment. I think I'd agree to anything he asked right now. It'd be hard not to with the way we fit together. So right. "Never leave me." He says, commanding me, and I only moan in response as our bodies intertwine. 

When I wake Christian is still beside me. He's awake, watching me cautiously. I turn over on my side facing him and he grins. "Good morning, Ms. Steele." He regards me sweetly and I can't help but to grin back. He's so different this morning. So happy and serene. I like this Christian, happy Christian. It truly is a sight. "Good morning, Mr. Grey." I reply, biting my lower lip. We're both still naked from our late night makeup sex. We could go again. "What time is it?" I turn my head to look at the clock, searching for an answer for my own question before Christian can tell me. "Shit!" It's late, really late. I've got to get to work fast. I jump from the bed without another word and dash into the bathroom, forgetting completely about my desires for morning sex with Christian. I shower, dry off, and dress in a frenzy. I pay no mind to Christian watching me from the bed as I dress in front of him, leaving a wet towel on his floor, and slipping into my work clothes at record speed. Unlike me, he's not worried a bit about being late. He has no reason to be worried. He's not an assistant, he's a CEO. He can come and go as he pleases, and he does often. "You could stay in. Call in sick or something. I'll help you makeup an excuse." Christian offers and I roll my eyes. "Absolutely not! I'm trying to actually keep my job, not lose it and become your housewife." Christian clutches his chest and pretends to be wounded. "You're very cranky this morning." I slap a watch on my wrist, ignoring his commentary. "I'm very cranky when I'm late and my jobs on the line." I correct him, then move to wrap my hair up in a ponytail. I slip on a pair of high heeled shoes, then check the clock. I've managed to give myself a few minutes to spare with my quick dressing. I approach the bed and sit down on the end of it. "Marry me, please. I love waking up with you." Christian says, and I laugh. "I love waking up with you too, more than you know." I bend down and kiss him softly, my fingers tangling in his hair. I'm on a tight schedule, I'm aware of that, but as we kiss I begin to become less and less concerned about getting to work. Maybe I should stay in bed with him. He is technically my boss, in a weird way. He wouldn't let me lose my job, not even if I deserved it. But, I wan't to do things the proper way on my own in my work life, so I let him go. We break the kiss and I sit back, my head still reeling. "I won't marry you, but I will move in with you. Right away if the offer still stands. Because I love you." I tell him, and his face lights up. "Really? You'll stay here with me?" I nod and his grin widens. He attempts to grab me to pull me back into bed with him, but I back away out of his reach. "I'll stay with you starting tonight. Right now, I need to get to work." I hop off the bed and Christian closes his eyes as I walk away. Taylor drives me to work. The drive is silent, but calming. I'm certain Taylor will get me to work on time. As I go through the workday I begin to feel my excitement grow as the time passes. After work I have to go get my things from the apartment and bring them to Christian's place. I don't have much so the move will be simple. The only thing left to do is tell Kate. At around lunchtime I call her. I take the call outside so that there's less a risk of anyone overhearing, particularly Jack. "Kate, Hey!" She picks up on the first ring to my surprise. She's usually taking so many calls that she has to put me on hold to finish a work call before we can talk. "Ana! I'm so glad to be hearing from you. I was worried! How was last night? Did you and Christian work things out?" She asks, making anxiety tighten in my chest. Why am I so nervous about telling her I'm moving in with Christian? It's not like we won't be able to be together any more. Right? I hope my feelings for Christian and our closeness won't overshadow my relationship with Kate now that we're taking such a big step forward, but I suppose I don't really know what the future will bring or who will be in it. "Uh, yeah." I stammer, struggling to talk through the huge weight on my chest. "Yeah, we did. We talked everything out. Leila is far away getting the help she needs so there's no need to worry about her anymore." I tell her about Leila to avoid talking about the newest development with Christian. "That's great to hear. I'm glad you two are okay and that Leila's okay." Kate says, completely oblivious to my nervousness. There's an awkward pause of silence and I know it's my turn to speak. "Yes, those are all good things." I take a deep breath to steady myself. Just rip the band aid off Steele. "Christian asked me to marry him." I stutter out and I hear Kate's gasp through the phone. "I said no." I rush to add in my answer before she can really begin to spiral into emotional chaos. "I think he was mostly asking out of desperation. He was worried I would leave him after what happened with Leila." I explain, remembering Christian's not so romantic proposal. "Oh." Kate mutters. "I know it's too soon for that anyway and he does too." At least I think he does. Life's such an emotional roller coaster with him. I think he loses the rational side of his brain when I'm around. I'm hoping if he feels inclined I might get a real proposal some day, but I don't want that some day to come anytime soon. We're just not ready. "I did agree to move in with him though." I confess. "I see. Is that what you want? You're not just agreeing to convince him that you're not going to abandon him?" Kate asks. "This is what I want. I know it means losing time with you and I hate that believe me, I do. I'm going to miss you so much, but I want to try to get close to him again and trust him and to do that I think this is the best decision. It's not like we won't still be able to see each other. You can come over there and I can come over to the apartment whenever you want. I'm not just going to move out and never come back. The apartment will always be our special place. It's home." As I talk about it my yearning for Kate grows, but I won't go back on my promise to Christian. I'm making the right decision, I'm sure of it. This is the only way we can move forward in our relationship. We have to make changes and sacrifices to accommodate each other. "I'll help you pack up your things. But you know you can always come back. Whenever you want, okay, Ana?" Kate says and I smile. This is her way of giving me her support. "Okay, Kate. I love you." She tells me she loves me too, then we end the call. It's a strange feeling to know I won't be living with Kate anymore. The apartment will be Kate's home and Christian's place will belong to both him and I. It seems like Kate and I our divided physically, but emotionally I can feel our love just as strong as before.


	23. Chapter 23

Kate's Pov;

Just as I'm finishing up at work, Ana calls. I pickup as soon as I notice the vibrations coming from my purse. "Hey, Ana! Are you finished with work?" She's been in trouble for making personal calls before even though I know everyone else at the office does it as well. Jack is always watching her like a hawk. It's completely unprofessional. "Yes. I'm getting ready to leave now. I just wanted to call and let you know Christian is going to Portland this weekend for business and I wondered if you'd like to go and get drinks or something." I collect my belongings as we talk, so that I'm ready to walk out the door as soon as I finish our call. "I'd love to! You know I'm always waiting on you to finally have a Christian free day." I hear her giggle on the other end and it makes me smile. "Well, now I have two." There's some shuffling on her end and I hear Jack's voice clearly. "Ana. Finally I have you on your own...well almost on your own." He must've noticed her phone. Shit. He sounds even creepier than I would have imagined. His voice makes my skin crawl. "K-Kate I have to go." Ana says, her voice cracking with anxiety. She hangs up. Fear chokes me as I realize she's alone with him. I get up and sprint to my car. I have to get to Ana. It could be nothing, but it didn't sound like nothing. I need to see that she's okay. I rush over to SIP as fast as I can and I walk through the entrance and towards Ana's office. The place is deserted. Then as I walk further towards the kitchen I hear voices. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Jack." Ana says and I walk closer following her voice. "Deny it all you want, Ana. I know the truth. You want me." I feel adrenaline build inside me as I come to the realization of what's happening. When I get to the kitchen I see Jack has his hand on Ana's chest, pressing her against the counter top. She sees me, but he doesn't. I step quietly forward, inching closer, my eyes never leave Ana's. As I get close enough to pull him off, he turns his head and looks directly at me. Before he can even fully turn to face me, Ana places her hand over his and pulls his finger back as hard as she can. I hear a snap and he loses his balance, groaning in pain. I quickly slip past him to shield Ana before he's able to recover himself. He reaches for Ana, but I grab his hand and stop him. "Don't fucking touch her!" I growl as I bring my knee up making direct contact with his groin. He collapses in front of me, but I don't stop there. White hot rage builds inside me as I begin to punch him. My fist slams into his jaw and he groans, falling back further from the impact. My fist hits his again and again. Ana tries to pull me off, but her attempts are useless. All I can see is the smug look on his face when he assaulted her. I can hear him saying that she wanted it on a loop in my mind. I don't stop punching until I see blood splatter on my hands. He's screaming swears and groaning in pain, but I feel no sympathy. "Fuck, Kate. Come on, we have to go." Ana tugs on my arm, her voice filled with anxiety. I spit in his face, finding pleasure in the sight of him lying prostrate on the floor, then I let Ana pull me away.

Once outside Ana runs into Christians arms as he's exiting his car. He scoops her up, assessing her for wounds and asking frantically what's happened to her. I stare down at the blood on my fist and all feelings of anger are replaced with fear. I panic, knowing for almost certain I am going to jail. Then I hear Ana say my name and I look up at her. She's telling Christian what happened and she's at the part where I stepped in. When she finishes Christian puts her down and approaches me. "What are we going to do? I've broke skin his blood is literally on my hand!" I hold the fist up to Christian. "It's okay, don't panic. Taylor and the rest of my team with take care of things from here. Just go home and clean yourself up." He orders, cool and calm as usual. "He deserved a good beating, I just wish I could've been the one to do it." Christian says, and I see a hint of humor in his eyes. I can't help my small smile. I wouldn't imagine Christian as someone to get into fights, but looking at him now I wouldn't put it past him. Once again I'm reminded that we're not so different, Christian and I. We're both ambitious and at times domineering. We both love Ana deeply. We're both willing to fight for what we love at any personal cost. We don't often get along well, but at the end of the day we both want the same thing, for Ana to be happy. She's our top priority, always. "Kate." Ana says my name from a few steps away and I glance towards her. Christian steps out of my way as she gestures for me to come closer and I walk over to her. "Let me see your hand. Is it okay?" She asks, her face etched with concern. "It hurts." I admit. "A lot." She gently places my hand in hers and I grimace. "Thank you." She whispers, looking up at me through her long lashes. "For what?" I ask. "Defending me." I smile. "Of course. I'd be a pretty sucky girlfriend if I didn't, huh?" I can feel Christian staring but Ana just laughs. "You didn't have to punch him that many times." She mutters and I smile wider. "I know. It was stupid and reckless and I can tell you with complete certainty that if the situation arises again I will absolutely do it again." I pause for a minute, neither of us saying anything. We just hold hands. "Go home and get some rest, okay. I'll see you this weekend." Ana just nods and I slip my hand from hers and walk to my car alone. She'll be safe with Christian, at least for the night.


	24. Chapter 24

Ana's Pov;

I lie on my back, legs forced apart by the spreader bar, as Christian loses himself in me. When he collapses beside of me we both stay in the same blissfully stunned state. I can't move even if I wanted to, the spreader bar still has me entrapped. It doesn't take long for Christian to remember this. He quickly undoes the straps holding me hostage and rubs the sore areas where they left a faint mark. When I'm free, he pulls me up into his arms and I gaze up into his eyes. I'm going to miss staring up into those gorgeous grey eyes. He's leaving for Portland tomorrow for the entire weekend. I haven't been away from him for more than a day since the time we were broken up. "I don't know what I'm going to do without you this weekend." I murmur. His apartment already seems too large and quiet as it is, without him it just seems abandoned. "I'll be so lonely." I whisper, holding him tighter. "Why don't you have Kate over?" He suggests and I gape at him. "Here?" I squeak. "Yes, here." His voice is light with humor. "This is your home too. You can have whoever you want in it." He reminds me, very matter of fact. I squint my eyes at him, searching his face for some kind of hint as to what he's thinking. "What, Anastasia?" He asks, with a small smile, his playful tone giving away nothing. "I just don't understand how you can be so calm and cool about Kate being here alone with me while you're away for an entire weekend." It's shocking that Kate and I even see each other at all since I've moved in with Christian. It would make sense if he were to start to put the pressure on me to make a choice on who I want to be with now that our relationship is getting to a more serious point, but he hasn't yet. If anything he's been more supportive of Kate and I's tricky relationship. "Ana, I know you think there's going to be this big divide between us if you continue to pursue a sexual relationship with her and myself, but there isn't. I know you. I know your heart. I see your endless capacity for love and compassion. Even though you don't see it yourself yet. You're young and inexperienced. I was your first and I want to be your last but it'd be unfair of me to deny you the opportunity to explore your sexuality for yourself." I gaze up at Christian as he speaks, trying to process his words. "That's very... noble of you." I breathe, soft and timid. Christian just shakes his head slightly, then moves down my body until his face finds its way between my legs beneath the covers.

 

The elevator doors glide open, giving Kate and I entry to the foyer. With Christian in Portland for the weekend, we have the house to entirely to ourselves. Well, almost entirely to ourselves. As we're coming around the corner to the main staircase, Mrs. Jones nearly bumps into us. She puts her task at hand on hold to warmly greet us, most definitely under Christians orders to be as hospitable towards Kate and I as possible while he's away. She makes an extra effort to tell Kate to let her know if she needs anything and Kate beams at the attention from Christian and I's housekeeper. When Gail excuses herself we both giggle at the awkwardness of such a greeting. We're having a sleepover in my boyfriends luxury apartment with his staff roaming the halls. It's hard not to feel a little awkward. "Come on. I'll give you a tour." I take Kate's hand and lead her up the stairs, then down the hall. I point out all the rooms to her, most of them she's already seen before, to refresh her memory. Then as we pass the playroom, Kate comes to a stop. "Wait what about this?" She asks, looking to the door. "Um..." I'm not sure if I'm allowed to take her in there. Christian keeps it locked for a reason, it's supposed to be private. When I don't answer Kate turns the knob herself, only to find the door is already unlocked. She pulls it open with ease and I gape at her, shocked that it would open. Christian must have unlocked it before he left. I follow her in, unsure of what to do. I can't exactly tell her to turn around and get out, there'd be no point, shes seen it now. I flip a switch along the wall and the room is flooded in a soft warm glow. "This is the playroom." I follow Kate's eyes as she looks upon the rack of belts hung beside the door. I take a step towards them and run my fingers over each of them. Then the floggers, paddles, and whips. I feel Kate's eyes on me, and see her brows furrowed as she watches me. She feels the assortment along the walls, then comes to a stop by the bed to feel the red satin sheets. We look at the canes, the couch, the table. It's strange being in here without Christian. The room appears so benign without him in it. A dungeon with no master. "So, this where the magic happens?" Kate says, giving me a look of both amusement and curiosity. I nod, blushing bright red. "What's this?" She asks, pointing to something behind me. I turn around and see the object in question is set of drawers. I've never looked inside before. In fact I've hardly looked around in here at all. I was rather preoccupied during my past visits to the room. "I'm not sure." I admit, taking a step closer to the chest. I cautiously pull open the first drawer, only to find a series of bullet shaped objects. I quickly close it, then open the next. A selection of vibrators are revealed. I open the third drawer and find metal clip-like objects and a few other similar looking props made of various materials. "Wow. He has the whole set-up doesn't he?" Kate mutters, her breathy laugh warms my ear. I hadn't realized she was standing so close before, only now do I realize shes been peering over my shoulder the entire time. "These are...interesting." Kate says, taking a pair of elegantly designed metal clamps from the door. She toys with them for a moment, then secures one to the tip of her middle finger. "Have you used them before?" Her eyes flick up to connect with mine briefly. I shake my head in answer. "I haven't used most of this actually, I'm not exactly jumping at the idea of being tortured with strange objects." Kate laughs and the sound echoes through the room. "These aren't so bad. I'm a little scared to take this one off though." I look at her now reddening middle finger, held tightly by the clamp. I reach out and swiftly pull it off her finger by the tip. She gasps in a moment of pain, then exhales a soft giggle. "I think we've done enough exploring for the day." I place the stolen items back in their drawer, then shut them safely inside. "Come on. I'll help you get settled in for the night." I take Kate's hand and escort her out of the red room and back into the hallway.

 

When I've finished showing Kate the rest of the way around the massive apartment, we eat the dinner Gail prepared at the breakfast bar, then sneak off to the bedroom with a bottle of one of Christians favorite aged white wines. Kate runs through her nightly routine in the adjacent bathroom while I strip out of my day clothes and change into a silky camisole and a pair of matching lace trimmed panties. When Kate returns, I'm sitting cross legged on the bed pouring us each a glass of wine. "This painting is absolutely stunning." I glance up at the painting of the ocean she's admiring and nod in agreement. "Christian has wonderful taste in art." I say, smiling at the painting in amazement. He's got so many lovely pieces all around the home. I'd love to add to the collection someday. "Let's hope he has just as impeccable taste in wine too then." Kate smirks, taking a glass from my hand. We drink and there's a silence between us. Kate places a soft hand on my thigh and I can feel her eyes on me. I tilt my head up to meet her gaze and she takes my face in her hand and kisses me. I set the glass held tightly in my hands down so I can put them to better use. Hot blood pulsates through my veins, rushing to the surface of my skin, coating me in a warm flush, as I return her affection. We kiss softly, lovingly, as my hands reach the smooth curve of her back. I grab a fistful of her blonde hair, as she pulls me into her lap, both of us breathing heavily. I can taste the wine on her lips, sweet and sensual. Suddenly my phone begins to ring, vibrating against the nightstand it's laying on, stopping our impassioned kiss. We pull away, a little in shock, and giggle at the interruption. "Christian, Hi." I answer the phone, still breathless. "Anastasia. I just wanted to call and ask how your evening is going." I can hear the sounds of the city in the background. He must be making this call from outside. "oh, um...It's going good. Mrs.Jones made a lovely dinner for us and we paired it with some of your wine. The white one." I say, my breath starting to return. "Good choice. Try not to drink too much." His teasing tone makes me smile, but I don't say a thing. "Goodnight, Anastasia." Christian says after a pause. "Goodnight, Christian." I repeat the phrase in his same tone, just as I would if he were here. "Is Kate there with you now?" He asks and I tell him she is. Then per his request I hand the phone to her. "Goodnight, Katherine." I hear his voice clearly through the phone. "Goodnight, Christian." Kate ends the call, then hands the phone back to me and I set it back onto the nightstand so we can pickup where we left off. Her hands hold my backside as her tongue invades my mouth. She turns us over and holds me down beneath her weight, asserting her dominance over me. I whimper and pant into her mouth as her fingers glide inside me, pressure building inside. "Kate!" I pant her name and she stops her sensuous touching abruptly. She changes tactics, grabbing me by the ankles and propping my legs up on each of her shoulders. She darts her tongue into my aching flesh, her face buried beneath the mess of long blonde hair now splayed across my middle. My hands grip the sheets as her lips bring me over the edge and I call out her name again in a mix of bliss and veneration.


	25. Chapter 25

Kate's Pov;

Ana walks in front of me, leading me on a tour of the enormous apartment. I can see the differences clearly between Christians taste and her own. I can tell exactly which items would've already been a part of Christians apartment and which things Ana put here when she moved in making it her home. The contrast between them is hard to miss, but somehow they fit together. Two opposites coexisting perfectly. I stop mid stride in the hallway when Ana either purposely or accidentally skips a room on the far end. "Wait, what about this?" I ask, looking to the closed door. "Um..uh.." Ana splutters, trying to find something to say, but when no words come out, I open the door myself to cure my own curiosity. Ana's jaw drops when I open the door, yet she's still speechless. I don't understand what her shocked expression is about until I actually look inside the room. Then it hits me. This is the room. The red room. The one where the root of her troubles with Christian began. The playroom. Ana has been tied up and fucked and abused in ways I can't even fathom in this room. My heart drops into my stomach as I take one cautious step inside, then another. I see the rack of belts first, then the bed, then an array of objects I can't put a name to. Ana steps in too, seeming to see everything for the first time all over again, seeing it through my eyes. I come to a stop by the bed and I imagine Ana in it with him. I imagine her on her knees on the cold floor, waiting for him. I imagine the thrill she must feel when takes away her sight, her hearing, only allowing her to feel him. I must be so dull in comparison. I glance back at the belts and another image surfaces. One of her bent over the table, taking a punishment she did nothing to deserve, striping away her dignity. I could never do the things he's done to her. When we leave the room, I'm secretly relieved to do so. That part of her life is not something I want to dwell on. I'd rather focus on the here and now, on us, not on them. 

 

We have dinner made by Christians house keeper, then we head up to their bedroom for the night. When she invited me over I half-way assumed she would have me sleep in the other bedroom, but now I realize that would have been pointless. She doesn't want me here as just a friend. I use her bathroom to freshen up, the one connected to the bedroom, and as I do so I'm aware of the sound of her stripping out of her day clothes and shuffling through the dresser for something else. When I return in my own night shirt and sweats I instantly feel overdressed. The sight of her sitting cross-legged on the bed two wine glasses in hand, dressed in a silky camisole and matching boy shorts, is not one I'll soon forget. I join her on the bed and take a wine glass from her, stopping to admire the picture above us. When Ana's eyes leave the painting and connect with mine, I reach out for her, leaving the only half drank glass of wine on the table. We kiss deeply, as Ana's hands slip around my waist. Sometimes I feel as though my love for her is completely hopeless, that she could never ever feel even a fragment of what I feel for her for me. When we kiss that doubt goes away. I am reminded how she feels about me, when she touches me this way, and kisses me so sweetly. Her actions show me how she feels in a way words never could. Then her phone rings and our moment is cut short. "Christian. Hi." She picks up the phone, her voice breathless from our kiss. She smiles at me, apologetic. I laugh soundlessly, shaking my head at her. She tells him a short summary of our night, then she says goodnight to him. Then, taking Ana and I both by surprise, he asks her to hand me the phone. I don't say anything, I just hold the phone up to my ear. Somehow he knows It's been successfully passed to me. "Goodnight, Katherine." He uses my full name, my formal name, but somehow there's a personal note to his voice. "Goodnight, Christian." I say, then there's silence. I hang up, knowing that was the extent of what he had to say to me. Ana climbs back into my arms and I turn her over on the bed, straddling her, as my fingers slide inside of her. She pants my name, encouraging me to keep going. I look down at her beautiful face, now pink with a fresh blush. Her brows are furrowed in concentration, eyes closed with pleasure, lips parted slightly. I take each of Ana's legs in my hands, holding her by the ankles, and toss them up onto my shoulders. She wraps them securely around my neck as she leans her head back onto the pillows. I bury my face down into her, my tongue circling her clit. I lick up the wetness as it comes, tasting her musky sweetness. I feel her hands lightly caress my hair, then her touch disappears entirely as she begins to pulsate beneath my tongue. She screams my name over and over again, bringing moisture between my legs and a feverish edge to my lovemaking. I want her so badly, even when I have her, It never quite feels like enough. I want her to be all mine, not just partly. I don't want to share. "Say my name again!" I command. "Fuck...Kate...Ah!" Ana moans, her entire body shaking from the intensity of a building orgasm. When she recovers, we go again, and again. Then she falls asleep in my arms, both of us satisfied and sleepy. I stroke her hair until the steady soothing rhythm puts me to sleep.

 

We spend the morning together, making breakfast and getting ready for work, then after work we meet up again to go for drinks with José. Christian is still in Portland, he's not expected to be home until late tonight. "So, what have the two of you been up to?" José asks. It's a seemingly innocent question, but Ana still blushes beet red and begins to giggle like a school girl. I nudge her forearm under the table and José gives the both of us a funny look. "Oh you know, the usual." I quickly answer for the both of us even though I know his question was directed at Ana. Most of them are. I don't think he'll ever get over his crush on her. I suppose we have that in common. "How's the boyfriend?" He asks when Ana finally recovers herself. "He's good. He's in Portland right now actually. We uh, moved in together. That's been fun." Ana says and I see Josés face harden, displeased at the new development. "Don't you think it's too soon for that?" He asks and Ana looks uncomfortable. "I suppose a little...I..uh.." She mumbles, mostly to herself. I feel my phone begin to vibrate in my pocket for the third time in the last twenty minutes and I finally move to answer it. "Hello? Elliot what's going on?" I ask, hearing his voice talking to someone else on the other end. "Kate, finally! Look there's a problem I need you to get Ana over to the apartment now." The seriousness coming from someone who's almost never serious frightens me. "What's wrong?" I ask, genuine concern taking over my annoyance at his nagging phone calls. "It's Christian. There's been an accident." I gasp, my eyes locked on Ana's unknowingly calm face. Shit.


	26. Chapter 26

Christian's Pov;

The pain burning in the soles of my feet becomes too much, so as I'm making my way through the doors of my apartment building I slip them off. Cameras flash brightly behind me as I close the door in their faces and ruin the shot. I have no idea why they're here, but I can guarantee they'll have a field day with the images of my bare feet they've now acquired. I have no energy left to care after the exhausting day I've had. I think of Ana as I lean against the back wall of the elevator. I close my eyes and imagine how she'll look when the doors open. She'll be asleep in our bed, bathed in moonlight and dressed in one of my t-shirts. Her face will have a faint glow to it even in the darkness, looking every bit like the angel she is. I wonder if Kate will still be here or if she's went home. I wouldn't mind either way, as long as there's a place for me to collapse on my bed and finally succumb to the exhaustion that's been looming over me. When I open my eyes the elevator doors open and instead of finding an empty room, I find my mom instead. She screams my name and comes running at me, arms extended. I drop everything and reach for her, unsure of what else to do. Only then, when her arms wrap around me, do I realize the TV is on and lit up with an image of me. My entire family is gathered in the living room to watch the news special reporting on my accident. It clicks in my brain what's going on now, why there was such an abundance of photographers outside, and why everyone has gathered in my home. My dad comes next, running to wrap his arms around us both. There's a high pitched squeal of delight and Mia wraps her dainty arms around me from the side. When they step back, seeming satisfied with the knowledge that I am in fact alive and well, I see they are all crying. I want to comfort them, but I'm not sure what to do. It's all so hard to wrap my head around. Why would they be crying for me? I'm fine. I'm safe. "I'm fine. I just made it back from Portland a little late. What's everybody doing here?" I ask, still a bit befuddled by all the attention. "We all heard about the crash. Oh, Christian, we thought we'd never see you again!" My mother exclaims, her voice choked with tears. "Mom." I sigh, not finding the words to comfort her. "Good to see you're alive, bro." Elliot appears and claps me on the back, giving some sort of half-hug. I can tell he's fighting hard to hide his emotions. It makes me feel even more guilty for not trying harder to find a way to contact someone on my journey back here. I look up, free from my families grasping arms and spot Anastasia across the room. She looks back at me and her wide eyes connect with mine, filled with tears. Fuck. I can't stand to see her in pain, not over me, not again. She doesn't move from where she's seated on the couch. She's in shock, traumatized by the nights events. Kate sits beside her, practically cradling Ana in her lap. Their body language paints a very intimate scene. The way Kate holds her, to protect her and comfort her while she cries. It's clear for anyone to see how much Kate loves her. Anything I'd do for Ana, Kate would do the same. I don't feel jealous of their closeness, I'm grateful that Kate was there to comfort her when I couldn't. I know without even a shadow of doubt that Kate wouldn't take advantage of Ana's state of vulnerability to push her case, no matter how badly she wishes Ana would choose her. She would want Ana to choose to be with her of her own volition, not to have her hand forced if I had been taken away as an option. I'm frozen in place, watching their display of affection in silence. Kate strokes Ana's hair and whispers something into her ear. Whatever she says seems to have no effect on Ana. Kate stands up and leans in to kiss Ana. Ana tilts her head upwards towards her and Kate plants a soft kiss on her head. Ana pouts out her lower lip as she does, her eyes filled with anguish. Katherine then walks away and out the door without another word to anyone. I don't know what to make of their emotional exchange. I feel like an intruder just to witness it, yet I couldn't look away. 

 

Ana turns her attention to me again and she shifts on the couch, ready to stand. I push my parents and siblings aside and begin to walk towards her. I walk slow, cautious, as if I'm approaching a wounded animal. She rises to her feet and I meet her inches from the television screen narrating my return. She throws herself into my arms, her body racked with sobs. She cries out my name along with a string of words I can't make out. "Shh..It's okay." I hold her closer, burying my face in her sweet smelling hair. When she sniffles and pulls back to look at me, I lean in and kiss her forehead in the same spot Kate kissed her before. A smile lights up her beautiful face for the first time tonight. I wipe the stray tears that have dripped down her cheeks away with my fingertips. She fumbles over my entire body with shaky hands, checking to be sure I'm all in one piece. I don't mind the examination, anything to give her some peace of mind after the hell I've put her through. I let her go and step past her to approach my family again. I reassure them once more that I am okay. Ana stays back while I talk to them, giving us some space to talk. I tell them the full story of my journey back here and the details of the crash. Then I hug them all a second time for the night. I embrace my mother a third time, not wanting to quite let her go yet. I feel so guilty for the whole situation. I know she'll be just as traumatized by Ana at the thought of losing me for good. I say my goodbyes to them all, then I return to the couch where Ana sits. We're all alone now. It's the calm after the storm. Ana shivers beside me as we sit side by side. I wrap my arms around her to bring some warmth back to her freezing body, and she leans into my embrace. "I love you so much, Ana Steele. So much." I murmur, lips pressed to her cheek. "I love you too, Christian. I'd be so lost without you." I recall every moment we've had together in this room. I want to have a million more. After a brief pause Ana jumps up with a seemingly newfound sense of purpose. She disappears around the corner only to return with a small cardboard box in the palm of her hand. "It's after midnight. Happy Birthday." She extends it to me and I smile at the small black bow sitting atop the box. The determination in her eyes leads me to believe this is no ordinary birthday gift. I gaze into those hard-set powder blue eyes of hers as I take the box from her hand.


	27. Chapter 27

Kate's Pov;

Ana stares at the flames as they flicker in the fireplace. It's a welcome distraction from the news reporters on TV trying to make sense of Christian's helicopter crash and his sudden disappearance. I can see shes shaking, so I wrap a blanket around her shoulders. I can't tell if she's shaking from the cold or if it's her bodies way of coping with the emotional pain that's been brought on her. Christians entire family has gathered at the apartment now, all of us waiting on news of where he could be or what has happened to him. There's a search party and plenty of speculation, but no news yet. Ana has this blank stare in her eyes as she watches the fire. I can tell she's thinking the worst, we all are, but I try to remain optimistic for her. "He will be back." I tell her, forcing my voice to sound steady and sure even though I am anything but. Ana says nothing. I can see the thoughts circling her brain, the moments with Christian becoming memories of someone she may never get to see again. Tears flow over in her eyes and trickle down her face like rain falling down a window pane. I wrap my arms around her and pull her up into my lap, holding her tightly. I cradle her, trying my best to soothe her. I comb through her hair with my fingertips, slow and steady. I plant soft gentle kisses on the top of her head and down to her temple. Her lips glisten with wetness from her tears. I want to kiss the tears away, but I know I can't. From now if Christian doesn't return every time I kiss her it'll be a reminder of him. When I hold her she'll be wishing it was him. She'll think of his arms around her. She'll think of his smile, of his laugh, of his heartbeat beneath her fingertips. If he doesn't make it she'll never be the same. My Ana will be gone. Lost without him. She won't smile the same. She won't giggle the same. She won't love the same, not without the missing piece of her heart. There is no Ana without Christian. She'd be hollow, a hopeless echo of the women she was. Just as I am coming to this realization, I can see she is too. If she wasn't sure before she is now. He's the one. The one she can't live without, the one she needs the most, the one she loves beyond reason. When she turns to me her eyes are no longer empty, they're filled with agony. "I can't do this anymore. I can't imagine a life without him, Kate. He's the one." She breaks into sobs collapsing in my arms. I know what she means without her having to say it. What we had is over. She doesn't have to tell me much she loves me, or say any last goodbye. I'm not going anywhere, but Christian might be gone forever. What we had was very real and loving and perfect, but Christian is the love of her life. Even if he never returns he will always be the one, not me. If he does make it back I know exactly what she'll do. She'll marry him and have babies with him and spend the rest of her life loving him with every fiber of her being and I will go back to being her best friend. Our love for each other will always be somewhere deep down beneath the surface, never to be brought to life again. I don't know who I'll be or who I'll love without her, but I know she'll have him and the thought makes me smile. I love her enough to want that for her even at the expense of losing her and I know she wants the same for me. I just don't know my happiness will look like if it is no longer her clear blue eyes and sweet smile. I continue to hold her as she weeps, the whole room feels distant from us. We're in our own little bubble. I hear the elevator ping and the commotion that follows and a weight is lifted from my shoulders as I realize what it means. Christian is here, he's alive and well. It's my time to go. I stroke her hair one last time. "Christian's here." I whisper in her ear, but she doesn't respond. I stand up and lean in towards her, wanting nothing more than to kiss her lips just one more time. I know she wants it too, I can see the disappointment in her pained eyes when I kiss only her forehead. I love you, Anastasia. I leave without looking back, without saying a word, without another thought.

 

 

I don't notice until I'm out the door and crouched in the corner of the apartment lobby that I'm crying. The tears come down unrelenting and I let them, no longer caring about sparing anyone's feelings. There's no one here to watch me. No one to witness my pain, no one but myself. I think about our last night together in this very apartment. If I had known it was my last night with her I would've done so much more. I would kissed her slower, I would've held her closer, I would've made love to her a million more times If I could. Every moment we shared flashes before my eyes. All the way back to the day I met her, all our late night study dates and takeout in college, all the small displays of affection between us before we ever even kissed. The smallest things hurt the most, they leave the deepest scars. I sob into my hands, feeling as if my heart has been split in two. "Kate?" Elliot's voice brings me back to the here and now. I look up from my hands and he's staring down at me. He holds his arms out to me and I jump up and fall into them. "I love her so much." I sob into his shoulder. He holds me, not saying a word. I know tonight hasn't been easy for him either. He thought he lost his brother. He almost did. I can't imagine what I would do if I were in his position, the fear of losing Ethan would break me. I pull myself together and stop crying. When I step back out of his arms I wipe my eyes. "Do you want to go with me for a drink? We could both use it after the night we've had." I nod weakly and follow him out to his car. We go for drinks at a bar just a few blocks away. The place is mostly empty but we stay for several rounds. He listens as I tell him everything, everything that happened between Ana and I. He lets me tell him, without any interruptions. I've never seen him be so serious. Usually he'd be cracking jokes about threesomes and hot lesbian action. There's none of that tonight. It makes me see him in an entirely different light. Maybe there's more to Elliot than anyone knows. He's had his fair share of heartbreak, likely by my hands, I find it comforting that we both know the same kind of pain. He walks me out after and while we wait for a cab I find him staring down at me. He leans in suddenly and I close my eyes as he kisses me slow and sweet. When he pulls away our eyes connect and there's a burning question in his eyes. "No." I mutter, answering his unspoken question. I don't want to get back together. The loss of Ana's love does not change how I feel about him. Nothing will. I didn't feel anything when he kissed me, nothing more than his lips on mine. He nods softly, then turns back to look at the empty street. We wait for our cab together in a mutual state of drunken, and exhausting deep sadness. Then we go home alone.


	28. Chapter 28

Ana's Pov;

"It's after midnight. Happy Birthday." I hold out the small box in my palm and Christian takes it into his hands. The look of uncertainty as he takes it almost makes me giggle. He's the one who bought the gift, he just doesn't realize it yet. Christian looks to me for confirmation and I nod softly in encouragement. "Go ahead and open it. What are you waiting for?" He takes the lid off and peers inside only to grow more confused by its content. The diamond ring inside glistens, dazzlingly bright. I found it while I was snooping through his stuff just after he left for Portland. I knew exactly what he had planned to do with it when I found it, but until now I wasn't sure what I planned to do with it. "I'm ready for you to ask me now." I inform him and he breaks into a rare boyish grin. "Are you sure? I was planning to wait awhile, give you some time." I shake my head, tears prickling in my eyes. He's been so thoughtful, so patient with me. You'd think it came naturally to him, but I know better. Deep inside he's been changing, fighting off the worst parts of himself to become the man he wants to be. I can't take credit for his hard work, but I get the feeling that I've been part of the reason he decided to make such a drastic change. I'd like to believe he has the same effect on me. I'm better with him. We build each other up, even in the darkest of moments. He's wanted to make me his since the day we met. I don't want him to have to wait any longer. "I'm sure. A thousand percent sure. I want to marry you." I assure him, sounding more confident than expected. Tonight's events have made my decision very clear. He's the person I want to be with for the rest of my life, no one else can ever touch my heart the way he has. "Well, Miss Steele...I was planning something a bit more extravagant than this, but if you want the ring now how could I possibly say no?" I wonder what he had planned, how it could possibly compare to the joy I feel in this moment. I can't imagine a time more right than right now. He drops down on one knee in front of me and even though It's to be expected, my hands still fly up to my mouth instinctively. His bright gray eyes burn into mine, as the tears spill over onto my cheeks. "Anastasia Steele. We've had a rough beginning, but with you even the worst days feel better than the agonizing days I've spent without you. I never want to be without you again. I want to spend all my days loving you, protecting you, and honoring you. I want you to be mine, and all mine, for the rest of our lives. I want you to share my life with me. Marry me, Anastasia." I drop my hands from their position on my mouth and drop down to my knees with him. "Yes, Yes, Yes!" I fist my fingers in his unruly hair and sob his name. Our lips connect and he wraps his arms around my waist to support me. I'm his, all his, from this moment on, and he's all mine. Christian jumps up and spins me around. His laugh of pure elation, echos through the room. It's exhilarating. "Alright Mrs.Grey. Time to consummate this marriage." Christian declares and I squirm in his arms, trying to get down onto the floor again. "Wait, Christian! We're not even married yet!" I gasp as he begins to carry me over his shoulder into our bedroom. "Where's my ring?" I struggle against his arms while he laughs at my attempts. "You'll get it soon enough, Mrs. Grey. Right now I've got better plans for you." He drops me down onto the bed and I giggle as I land with a bounce. Christian climbs over me slowly, pinning me down with his weight. I'm flushed all over, my skin burns in anticipation. I want this so much, I want him so much, always. I've never felt anything like it in my whole life. He deftly moves to cup my chin in his hands and kisses me heavily. I'm pinned down, and I know I'll enjoy every second of his sensual torture. I close my eyes, surrendering to his every whim. I trust him with every bit of my being. He makes love to me the way I always imagined in the beginning, before I ever had any expectations of sex. I always thought that the way sex was written in literature was dramatized too much, unrealistic, but with him, fantasy becomes reality. He is what my deepest fantasies are made of. I touch him freely, and he relaxes beneath my hands. My fifty shades, the love I've always dreamed about, my soon to be husband. 

 

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Christians parents driveway is illuminated in twinkle lights, no doubt put up by Mia. Carrick opens the door for us and he pulls Christian into a birthday hug. Christian looks surprised, but not necessarily uncomfortable. I take this as a great improvement. He hugs me too after wishing his son a happy birthday. Once inside Grace pokes around the corner and greets us as well. She wraps her sob in a long and loving embrace. I know last night was hard on her, even more so than me. Grace extends her arms to me too and I willing hug her back. She's going to be my mother in law very soon, even though she doesn't know it yet. She then leads Christian away to go meet all his guests and let them see for themselves that he is in fact alive and well. They all wish him a happy birthday, and as they do he brings me around to introduce me to everyone. I had no idea he had so many friends, he always made it seem as if no one cares about him, I'm sure we both know now that there are many people who just adore him. When we've worked our way around the room I realize two people are missing from the group. Kate and Elliot. How odd. I look around for them frantically, making sure I didn't miss them, but there's no sign of either of the pair. "Christian, where's Elliot?" I whisper to him, as we walk with our arms interlocked to the front of the main room. "Mia said he went out front earlier. She didn't say why." He answers me in the same hushed tone I used with him. I don't know what to make of their lack of attendance. Christian stands front and center and gets everyone's attention. I blush hard, knowing what is to come. He announces our engagement for everyone while I just stand still by his side, not wanting any part in the public announcement he's making. It's all too embarrassing. Too much attention. Grace comes up first to congratulate us. The rest of the crowd quickly follows. While in the arms of a women who's name I cannot remember, I catch sight of Elliot sneaking back inside. He smiles warmly at me and I try to return the look. He congratulates Christian with a half hug and pat on the back. As we're celebrating together, me and my new family, I spot Kate as she's coming through the doors. She looks stunning in a beautiful red cocktail dress. Her golden hair is in ringlets down her shoulders. When she catches my eye she stops and smiles. Then she turns to the woman at her side, holding tightly onto her hand.


	29. Chapter 29

Kate's Pov;

I hesitate on the street outside of my apartment as a group of women pass. They appear to be celebrating something but I can't tell what by looking at them. Either I am far more drunk than I thought or they have had a rainbow throw up on them. "Hey, Where are you leaving from?" I ask them, having to raise my voice to get them to hear me over their own excited chatter. "Club! That Way!" A tall blonde in a white cocktail dress and rainbow tiara points me in the direction of the club. "Thanks!" I call out, but they're already stumbling into a cab. Instead of going into the apartment and going to sleep like I should, I begin walking in the direction they came from. I've never heard of a club this near to the apartment, and I've certainly not heard of one that will have you leaving caked in rainbow glitter. I walk a couple blocks and sure enough I see a club bustling with life. I remember now that I've been before, but it didn't look quite like this when I went. I would've remembered if it had. A glitter crusted flyer taped to the door notifies me that it's ladies night. I walk in and am swamped in a gust of glitter. It's everywhere, in my hair, on my clothes, coating my skin. It's on everyone and everything. There's half-priced drinks and half-naked women everywhere. It's beautiful. I step out under the flashes of multi-colored lights. There's not a man in sight, other than the few that are working behind the bar. I buy myself a drink, trying to blend in with the crowd. I don't think I'm very successful. My face is tear stained and anxious and my clothes are ordinary. Everyone else here is happy, drunk, and dressed in adequate club wear. There are couples kissing, dancing, and drinking, all around me. There's singles too, but even they seem to have someone to be single with. I'm all alone at the bar. I turn to leave, feeling stupid for evening coming at all, but on my way out I bump into someone. "Shit, sorry!" I jump back and apologize. I'm left speechless by the face that looks back to me. Her dark eyes, small soft lips, and cheeks streaked with pink and red paint leave me floored. She's not angry as I expected, instead she's smiling brightly, smiling at me. I must look like a total idiot. I shake my head wordlessly, trying to find something to say. I stare silently at the beauty before me. I look at her silver dress and matching heels, then back to those enchanting eyes. I used to think nothing could ever be more lovely than the powder blue glow of Ana's wide eyes, yet now I can't even picture what they'd look like. This woman, this stranger, is all I see. "You look a little lost. Come outside with me." The dark eyed woman guides me out, holding my hand. The back of her long dark hair sways side to side as the walks. Once we're outside she stops along the side of the building. "It's loud in there and so overwhelming." I blink numbly, nodding in agreement with her words. "Would you like to come back to my place?" I ask before I can even think to stop myself. It just seemed like a natural fix to her discomfort at being inside. Or maybe I said it because I'm attracted to her and insanely drunk. She laughs, shaking her head. "Wouldn't you like to ask me my name first?" She raises an eyebrow at me and I force myself to take a deep breath. "Of course, yeah. Sorry. I should've introduced myself. I'm Katherine, Kate for short." I extend a hand to her and she takes it. "Nice to meet you, Kate. I'm Alexandra, Lexie for short." She shakes my hand, then instead of dropping it she holds onto it a few moments longer. "I'm not going to come back to your place, at least not tonight. You look like you've had a rough night and I don't really want to add onto that. I will give you my number though, then maybe when you're sober you can ask me out again." She lets go of my hand and holds it out for my phone. "Right." I hand over my phone, wishing I could've been just a bit smoother. She puts her number into my phone, then she sends me back home with instruction to rest and recharge. The next morning, when I'm back in my right state of mind, sober and well-rested, I call her and ask her to be my date to Christian's birthday party. 

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Ana's Pov;

Kate whispers something to her date, then they separate. Kate's date goes to stand with Elliot and Kate stands in the corner of the Grey's emptied hallway with me. "I thought you wouldn't come." I blurt out, still a little shocked to see her here after last night, especially with a date. "Elliot told me Christian was announcing your engagement tonight. I figured I couldn't miss that. I stayed outside because I didn't want to take any attention away from you and Christian. I won't stay long, I just wanted to congratulate the two of you." Kate explains her absence smoothly, emotionless. I search her eyes for something, I'm not sure what, but I don't find it. "I see you brought a date. That was fast." Very fast. I didn't expect her to move on so quickly. It's a shock to my system, seeing her with someone else. "Yes, well... I knew everyone else here would be bringing a date and I didn't want to show up without one." That'd look a little desperate, painful for those who know our situation. I understand why she didn't come alone. There's a long silence between us, neither of us breaking eye contact. I loved her so much, I still do, deep down. I want her to be happy and I know I can't be that happiness. It's heartbreaking. "I'm gonna go find Christian, congratulate him too, then I've got to get back to Lexie. Elliot can't keep her entertained for too long." I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. Her date has a name then, Lexie. I feel the unwanted pang of jealousy at the thought of her, and the lump in my throat grows. Tears threaten to spill over. "I'll see you around." Kate says, then she walks away and I'm left standing still in the hallway. When I've composed myself, I go find Christian. He's standing in the middle of Grace and Carrick. All of them have drinks in their hands and appearing to be having a pleasant conversation. Christian stops talking immediately when he sees me approaching. He wraps his arms around me and gives me a once over, assessing my mood. "Kate just left. Are you okay?" He asks. Something in my face must have him concerned, because by the way he asks the question I can tell he's worried about my answer. I nod, looking up into his eyes. If he can tell I've been crying he doesn't say anything. He just holds me closer, my face buried in his shoulder. 

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"You may kiss the bride." The words make it final. Christian and I are married, husband and wife. We kiss, passionately, in front of our friends and family. Then the party begins. Everyone seems to be having a wonderful time. Carrick and Grace, Elliot and his date, my mom and Ray, Mia and her date, Kate and hers. I dance with Christian, our first dance together out on the floor. When we've had all our firsts of the wedding, we've had cake, and danced, and mingled with the guests, Christian notifies me that he's ready to leave. There's no reason we have to stay. We have a dreamlike honeymoon ahead of us and after that a lifetime together. "There's just a couple more things I need to do first." I tell Christian, and he agrees complacently. It's my day. I can do what I want with it. There's no rush, yet I want to rush a little. I'm just as eager as him to getaway. I'm able to track down Kate where she's dancing with Lexie. "May I cut in?" I ask and Lexie politely excuses herself to give me room to talk to Kate. She looks so beautiful in her baby pink silk gown. It suits her well. She seems happier, much happier than she was the last time we spoke, at Christians birthday party. I suppose the both of us are. Happier apart. "Ana! This wedding is beautiful, seriously! And your dress! You just make the perfect bride!" Kate gushes over me, holding both my hands as she jumps up and down. "Thanks, Kate." I blush brightly, stifling a giggle. "You and Lexie seem happy. I'm surprised you brought her. I didn't realize it was serious. Is it serious?" I find myself giving her a taste of her own medicine with my inquisition. "Maybe a little." This time it's Kate's turn to blush. "Gah! Kate!" I exclaim. "Is she like.... the one?" I ask, in a whispered tone, just in case Lexie is still within hearing distance. "I don't know. Probably not. But I'm happy with her. She's the one right now. That's all I really need right now." Kate says, with a shrug. "Well...I'm happy for you then. If she's what you want then I'm glad you have her, and if you ever want to have a wedding like this one with Lexie or with someone else, I can't wait to be there for you." The tension between us is gone, vanished. We can be best friends now, no jealousy or bitterness bubbling beneath the surface. "I have to leave soon. I think Christian's getting antsy." I giggle, imagining him having to sit through even more small talk with our courtesy invites. "Okay. Have fun. Tell Christian if he hurts even a single hair on your head that I won't hesitate to kill him. I am not afraid to go to prison." I nod, laughing hard. "I'll tell him." Kate holds her arms out to me and I lean into her embrace. "Love you. Be safe." Kate chokes out between tears. Shit. Tears of my own start flowing. "Love you too. I will. And I'll call you as soon as we get to wherever he's taking me. I promise." We stay like that for just a second longer, holding each other, then I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn and see my husband. "Ready to go?" He asks, holding my bouquet of white and pink roses in one hand. I take them from him. "Yes. Let's go." I follow him to our car where a crowd of our guests have gathered. All the unmarried females stand in the front, ready to catch the bouquet. When I throw it I aim for Mia, but it falls into Kate's hands inside. She gives me a wink and I smile at her as I get into the car. It's a strange feeling, knowing that I'm officially letting her go, but knowing that part of me will always be with her.


End file.
